I remember the day I signed up on Seeking Arrangement like it was yesterday—even though it was over 6 or 7 years ago. I was working a “normal” 9 to 5 that I hated, and wanted to pursue my creative passions without being tethered to my job. Also, my salary just barely covered my living expenses, with no room for luxe extras like shopping, travel, or eating at nice restaurants. I googled “How to find a sugar daddy,” found Seeking Arrangement, signed up, and the rest is history. If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self that:
YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE BARBIE TO SUCCEED
When I signed up, I had this image in my head of how I “should” look to find the Sugar Daddy of my dreams: bleached blonde hair, really big boobs, full glam makeup, and an extensive collection of designer clothes, shoes, and handbags. Essentially, I thought I needed to look like Pamela Anderson or Anna Nicole Smith to succeed. When I started to navigate the sugar bowl, however, I quickly realized this couldn’t be further from the truth. Lots of Sugar Daddies are honestly, simply looking for very pretty, younger ladies. Please don’t feel like you need to go out and get major surgery in order to find an SD! Instead, simply focus on being the best “you” that you can be and the rest will fall into place.
IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT SEX
Right after I signed up, POTs started filling up my inbox and I became very excited—finding an SD might be easy, after all! But as I started reading through, I found that most of these messages were very sexually explicit—the kind of arrangement these POTs wanted was very far from what I wanted and I started to doubt whether I’d find a meaningful connection with anyone.
As someone whose had meaningful arrangements that have lasted from as little as 6 months to as much as 3 years, I can say with certainty that arrangements are much, much more than just sex. To me, it’s all about building a meaningful connection with someone without the added pressures or expectations of marriage, children etc. And yes, sex and intimacy are on the table—but so is the opportunity to create the kind of memories that most people can only dream of.
HAVE A STREAM OF INCOME OUTSIDE OF ALLOWANCE
Now, as fun as travel and shopping can be, it’s time to come down to earth and think about a practical aspect of the arrangement that I completely took for granted until it was too late. If you have an SD that provides an allowance so generous that you don’t have to work, I would strongly, STRONGLY encourage you to find a side job or hustle that doesn’t interfere with your date/travel schedule but still provides a stream of income, no matter how small. While it goes without saying that you should save some of the allowance, it’s also really important to have a way to make money outside of the relationship. You need to be prepared for the day that he wakes up and decides it’s time to move on so that you don’t feel compelled to do anything out of desperation while you process the breakup.
HAVE AN EXIT PLAN
While you’re dreaming of your ideal arrangement and thinking of all the fun that awaits, it’s also important to consider how you want the arrangement to benefit your life. As you jump into the sugar bowl, consider the following questions: What do I want out of my arrangements? Is it paying for college tuition, learning how to navigate the world of the wealthy, or networking with business elites? What kind of financial situation am I in, and how will it be different after I’m done sugaring? What do I want to learn from my SDs—is it business advice, investing advice, knowledge of fine dining/travel, or all of the above? If you can answer these questions before you start seeing POTs, you’ll have a better chance of finding exactly what—and who!—you want in the sugar bowl.
Good luck and happy sugaring!