Detecting early signs of abuse is crucial to save yourself from abusive Sugar Daddies. Think of it as a fire drill. You have to be prepared for it and know what to do just in case. Your safety in the Sugar Bowl is most important. Abusive personalities don’t discriminate against wealth or success. It does not come from ghetto or poverty. If it did, news would not circulate on the misshapen with artists, musicians and other public figures who have lost their mind, or at least acted upon someone strong enough to unveil their character in a public manner. Strikingly, between one in 3 to 4 young women have suffered some sort of dating violence in the US. Could he be an abusive Sugar Daddy?
In your face
- Self esteem and worthiness
Abuse can be verbal, physical or a combination both. It can start from violence against objects, pets and then progress up to you. It can be verbal manipulation to diminish your sense of self-esteem, or it can start from the pleasure of BDSM and surpass the limits of consensual fun.
Abusive behavior is psychologically driven and a handful of alpha SD’s, who take pleasure in sexually controlling a SB. They might also hit nirvana beating their SB in full, and believe to be right, as she deserved to be disciplined.
This SD who claimed to want a NSA arrangement may become clingy. He is captivated by your looks and ways. Once, you were out of his league, and is now you are his SB and possession. He gets impatient when you don’t respond timely. No matter if you are driving and not texting, at a doctors appointment, taking that spin class at the gym or doing harmless activities and just not paying attention to your mobile. There is a constant check-in.
In some cases, he starts showing up at your place, work or school unannounced. Some may think it is a sweet surprise, and genuinely it could be on a celebration day, but if you realize that is happening quite often, get your antenna up.
Slowly but surely, there may be a growing combination of possessiveness, checking-in, and questioning your loyalty to him. On outings with girlfriends, errands and such, he claims more and more of a stake in your life. Your physical interaction with friends starts to decrease significantly.
Between spending more time with him and accompanying him on vacations, you are left with little time for your friends and family. Your Sugar life is a secret and you feel you really can’t discuss with long time friends.
For varied reasons, he may suggest you to quit your job. Maybe it is the lure to travel more, and accompany him on his business trips regularly and your job doesn’t give you enough vacation days. Maybe, it is a high allowance that covers all your needs and more to live like a princess every day. By leaving your income behind and putting your survival needs at his hands, he now has all the power and the control is now at his hands.
Self-Esteem and Worthiness
From sweet words to snappy ones, he will play on making you feel bad about yourself. Maybe he will start pointing out you need to lose weight when you are a size 4. Or, you are made to feel your comments are stupid, so you begin to doubt your own intelligence. Perhaps, he wants a threesome now and pays special attention to the other girl involved, making you feel subpar. According to him, you are not valuable, when in fact you are as amazing as you were before entering the arrangement. You are becoming less desirable, not as smart and who else would take care of you if you don’t follow his advice. Your common sense is out of touch.
Whether he attacks you verbally, hits you physically, punishes you sexually without consent, threatens to hurt you more or to hurt himself if you leave the situation, you have to protect yourself. Disappear from his range by seeking refuge where he doesn’t know. Choose a place out of your ordinary life, go to an abusive persons program shelter, or contact social services and nonprofit abusive programs for support.
Document with dates, occasions, evidence and report to the police. Get a protection order to keep him away. Essentially, do not take any abusive behavior lightly, as abusive behavior snowballs. If you don’t know where to start, begin by contacting organizations such as The Domestic Violence Hotline, SAFE or others. They are confidential, and typically available 24/7, with more common sense and resources to deal with abuse than I could possibly write.