Initial and early conversations with a POT are very important. They set the tone for the future of a potential arrangement. The biggest benefit of Sugar is having the opportunity to get things out on the table early. This way, everyone is happy, fulfilled and comfortable in the relationship. Getting your point across the right way is important in a SB and SD relationship.
Genuine Daddies that can consistently afford a generous allowance, gifts and outings are in short-supply, and when a Daddy is in the market for a Baby, he likely has no shortage of early stage conversations going. While it can be tempting to spill the beans from the get go on your personal aspirations and challenges, odds are your potential Daddy has heard the song and dance before. In some cases, he’s already had an unscrupulous wanna-be Baby take advantage of his generosity and optimistic outlook. This can put genuine Babies in a tough spot – you are already pushing uphill.
In a first text message or phone call exchange, it is not uncommon for a Daddy to ask “how are things going?” It can be very easy to blurt out “I am stressed.” In a real world, causal situation, this can be harmless. General aggravation at work, in-laws in town or the construction backing up traffic are all stressful things. However, in the Sugar Bowl, if “I’m stressed” is your first reply, this immediately puts Daddy on guard and raises red flags. He is likely betting to himself how many minutes or messages it will take until you bring up financial problems and difficulties – or even ask for money.
If a stranger asked how you were doing in a lounge, would you start making a list of your financial stressors? Absolutely not. If you asked him the same, would you be interested in hearing about the details of his divorce? Child support program? Concerned about meeting sales goals for the next quarter, so he can avoid laying off 20 hardworking employees? That would likely bore you to tears, or at a minimum, elicit a not-so-positive internal response. Building a great early-on impression with a Daddy (and separating yourself from the competition) requires a Baby to be on her best behavior.
Instead, share some of the positive things you have going on your life. Toss in a small dose of struggle or stress for good measure. However, do not make that the focus of your conversation. Daddies come to the Sugar Bowl looking for some stress-relief from their day-to-day challenges. When forming an arrangement, it is already assumed that you will be gifted – your future Daddy does not need a constant reminder of your problems.
Elite SB Tip: Turn the tables on the conversation. Resist the urge to vent about your challenges, and instead, ask him about his. You will gain great understanding into his personality to better gauge chemistry. You will also help Daddy get some things off his chest rather than adding another burden to his life.
“Can I Have a Favor?”
The short answer is “No.” Some potential Babies immediately change the direction of a natural flowing conversation to, “Hey, I need a favor”. Favors are reserved for charities, close friends and family. If you need a favor, ask someone you are close with to help you out – not a stranger you are just getting to know.
At some point in an established arrangement, you will be able to ask for a favor or a special gift and Daddy will likely say yes. However, asking for a favor within a few messages of starting conversation immediately shuts down Daddy’s open-minded nature. Instead of focusing on a good time, he immediately has reached for his wallet to keep it from sneaking out. Daddies increase their defenses when random favors are asked from aspiring Babies towards the end of the month or around the holidays.
Instead, if you feel good connection with a potential Daddy, set-up the initial meet & greet. It is also suggested to use this time to establish chemistry and lay down some expectations. If the two of you had a wonderful time, gently and charmingly request the favor and suggest a second date where he can take care of your request. If he declines or starts to waver, he is likely not the Daddy you were seeking and it’s time to move on.
Elite SB Tip: Save the favors for later in the arrangement. By building up trust and focusing on your Daddy’s happiness, it will be easier to ask for even bigger favors without Daddy getting resentful or defensive.
“I’ve Just Had So Many Bills and Things to Buy – I Need Help”
Daddies, just like nearly every other person on this planet, have financial obligations and bills to pay. Having bills does not make you special. Having bills and falling behind suggests to your Daddy you may not be as responsible as he thought. This is especially the case if your short-term financial woes are caused by overspending, or going out on the town with no cares. Daddies want a mature, responsible Baby who understands and appreciates the cliché phrase, value of a dollar.
Most Daddies did not become successful by winning the lottery – they did so through hard work and cleverly managing the resources available to them. While there may be some bumps in the road, Daddies are not looking to bail someone out – they are looking to build a sustainable connection. A Baby alluding to her short-term financial challenges immediately makes Daddy question if she will stick around for more than one date or one allowance exchange. Do not ask for help, especially if falling behind is due to frivolity. Instead, talk about your future prospects.
Perhaps you’d like to double major in college, and you need a little extra monetary boost to take those classes. Talk about putting the funds towards a business or a long-term plan. The best Daddies will take you out on the town and perhaps even among potential business associates; be an asset, not a liability.
Elite SB Tip: Show your Daddy you appreciate his hard work. If you catch a restaurant adding an extra drink on the bill, bring it up. Take your Daddy shopping and respectfully and affably negotiate and haggle with the salesperson or manager. (This works especially well at small boutiques rather than large chains)
“I Don’t Want to Be That Girl, But I’ve Never Asked This Before”
Yes, you have. If you haven’t asked this, there isn’t a Daddy with half a brain who’d believe this is the only time it’s happened. Maybe this approach has worked for you where random strangers or people you have not met have sent you some money. (Confession – I know it has as I am guilty of doing this in the past)
However, the short-term gain is not worth the long-term pain. At this point, nearly all potential Daddies have been asked by a potential Baby for funds prior to a meet. In his mind, there is nearly a 100% chance that if the Daddy obliges, the Baby will ghost. Or, she may politely come up with excuses on why meeting is not going to happen. In short, do not be that girl and do not ask. It comes across as classless, immature and inconsiderate. Most Daddies will immediately block you. A select few fed up with the aggravation, may lash into uncomfortable tirades or lectures.
Elite SB Tip: You know you are awesome and would be a great companion, friend and lover to a generous and successful Daddy. You can bring much happiness to his life. Own it and spend some time with a few potential Daddies where there is early attraction. It won’t be long before you never have to ask again.