Keeping Your Sense of Self in Sugar

By Chic Rose

Aug 31, 2017

While it’s tempting to focus all your spare time on a Sugar daddy you are particularly appreciative of, this may actually be self sabotaging. Obviously it’s in your interests and only fair to be available at the agreed times. But it’s a huge mistake to lose your sense of self. What exactly do I mean by “sense of self”? Think about the early stages of a Sugar relationship and what attracted your Sugar Daddy to you.

It wasn’t just your physical beauty or even your personality. It was also your interests in life separate to any relationship. As well as, his knowledge that you are in demand, but that you choose to spend time with him. That you don’t need, but decide, to spend time with him, because he improves your life in the way you want.


While the economic need may be great, it’s important to maintain your interests apart from him. It’s better in the longterm than make him your full focus. The psychological law of attraction, ironically, is that the less you need someone the more they want you. Even if it’s true that you do, never let your Sugar Daddy know how much you need him from a financial point of view. He’s more likely to appreciate your time and to stay that much sweeter and for longer.

What To Do To Regain Me Time

In any type of relationship both people can lose their sense of individuality outside of it. This has even more relevance in a Sugar relationship. If your Sugar Daddy is used to you spending all your spare time with him it can be difficult to change. A subtle and positive way is to introduce him into your hobbies. Join activities that you can enjoy together. He will see you doing another activity you enjoy which is unique to you. The chances are you have developed skills in your hobby. Using learned skills boosts self esteem and confidence, which is very attractive. Everyone looks great when doing something they enjoy and which they are good at. It is also a whole fresh side to you that your Sugar Daddy has probably never seen. Almost like a new Sugar Baby. But with the safety of familiarity.

Introduce Him to Something New

There may be times when couple events happen in this new hobby you’ve introduced him to. Some or many of which hes too busy to attend. He will be happy about you attending an event by yourself if he’s experienced it. Show him how revitalised and sexy it makes you feel having ‘self’ time. Not all Sugar Daddies are time possessive. It’s  good in any relationship to insist on maintaining your own separate interests. Especially in a Sugar relationship.

What to Say?

What exactly to say, to tell your Sugar Daddy that you need more space? A safe and simple rule, is to always be kind and respectful about it. Prevent time infringing from happening in the first place. It’s best to outline time boundaries from the start. If such a situation has developed, choose a time when your Sugar Daddy is at his most relaxed. In all your comments, emphasise how much better company you are when you have time to yourself. Talk about how it will actually strengthen the relationship. 

Perhaps your own individual variation, on the following sentence. “I admire your ability to understand people so well and know when to give a little leeway. I need a little leeway here please”. 
This will almost always be appropriate as virtually all successful Sugar Daddies will have needed to learn exceptional people skills to achieve their status.


What exactly to say, to inoffensively turn down his last minute time demands? 
I suggest a variation on the following phrases:
“That sounds really fun but I need to recharge my batteries this eve so Im at my best for our next date to give you my all. Ill sleep thinking of you”.
Turning down his last minute time demands in the daytime: “Id love to if more notice but I’ve already made plans. Remember we said no last minute dates. I want to look my best for our next date, you know you love it when I wear my hair and makeup (like that)..”


Present what you want as something that will benefit you both. Communicate it in your own individual style that your Sugar Daddy is familiar with and/or that he favours.

Obviously it’s best to agree at the start of an arrangement about expectations regarding your availability. If you agreed that you’d be available 24/7 or at anytime at the last minute, it may be seen as unfair to not keep to this. (However you should of course never be forced to do anything which is not your choice). Experienced Sugar Babies know how to negotiate an agreement which they are confident will not overtax them and they can keep to. Both are essential in any Sugar relationship.