Sugaring trial and error for everyone. Other than good old-fashioned chemistry, there is no step-by-step guide to guarantee your success with a potential Sugar Daddy. But I can offer some mistakes made by a newbie Sugar Baby so you (hopefully) don’t repeat them.
Sugar and desires are always changing. There are factors and variables that may count you out in someone’s eyes. You may not be their type, plain and simple. To be more specific maybe they only like blondes, maybe they prefer tattoos, or bookworms, maybe you don’t look enough like their celebrity crush.
Whatever the context, mistakes will happen. These are some that I have made that I wanted to share with you. In an attempt to save time, do yourself a favor and don’t make these faux pas.
Sharing Bank Information
You’ve met a potential and he’s the answer to your prayers. His profile picture looks like he could be your very own Christian Grey and his Lifestyle Budget is the coveted “Substantial.” You begin exchanging emails and things are going well, he is ready to deposit funds in your account to show you how serious he is about you. All he needs is your banking information, no big deal right? WRONG!
This one is actually not as damning as the other two, however still worth an eyebrow raise. Though it is true your routing number is on checks, it is still not information you want to be handing out, especially to strangers. Instead, offer up one of the alternatives that I have mentioned below, if a potential denies all of those and insists on acquiring your bank information, it is a scam.
BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER
This one is not just a no, but a HELL NO. Don’t give anyone your bank account number, it is the holy grail for a scammer. With this information a total stranger can find your account, order checks with it and start spending YOUR CASH willy nilly. If you have a trusting relationship with an established POT (and preferably you have already received an allowance or two elsewhere) a bank transfer might be easier for everyone. But this is ONLY for an established arrangement with someone you trust.
BANK ACCOUNT PASSWORD
I have had someone tell me that they needed my bank account number and password to deposit money into my account and then to verify that the money made it there. NO ONE, not even your mom or your baby sister needs this information. Assume anyone with your password will in fact rob you.
This one is should be a no brainer, but so many people fall for it. Desperation does not look good on anyone, and it will get you scammed. Report anyone who is requesting this information on SeekingArrangement. This person is not a potential Sugar Daddy, they are out to steal from you!
Instead, use trusted sites or applications like PayPal, Venmo, Google Wallet, Prepaid gift cards or cold hard cash! Here is more info on some safe ways to receive funds, and here is more info on avoiding online scammers.
Giving it Up
When I first joined the site I met who we’ll call Trevor. A young, handsome, computer tech who was more serious than quirky. He lived about three hours away from me and in an attempt to confirm I was who I presented in my photos he suggested we Skype. I obliged and we had a pleasant conversation that turned steamy.
After that call, I never heard from Trevor again. I don’t know if he ghosted because he got what he wanted out of me. I don’t know whether he met someone that he simply clicked with better and decided he was no longer interested in me. In either case, I regret having shared so much so fast.
For starters, I did not know this person. He could have been recording our entire encounter without my permission, and I’d been none the wiser. He also could have just gotten the temporary satisfaction he was seeking and moved on. In any case, I would save such an act for someone who had put in the work and deserved it.
As a Sugar Baby, I should have held myself to a higher standard. The same goes for sending flirty photographs. With someone you’re established with and have time invested in? Sure! Within a few hours of emailing? Absolutely not!
Not Giving A Potential A Chance
Sugaring is not the typical dating experience. Breaking news, I know, but it is just not. If you want to truly get a worthwhile experience, you should do things you wouldn’t normally do. Do not let colorful expectations limit you to your typical disappointing experience, save that for Tinder!
The average age of a Sugar Daddy ranges from 39-44. Do not discount someone just because they do not have the full head of your your ex-boyfriend does. Your ex-boyfriend also couldn’t afford to take you to Wendy’s and kicked you out so his roommate could come home and play video games. He did not have much more to offer you past his full head of hair.
I am not saying drop every standard of dating you’ve ever had, however, I am suggesting that you re-evaluate your “standards.” You will find that many are on the more shallow side. The second Sugar Daddy I met, we’ll call him Anthony, would not have passed any superficial standard I had set when I first got started. Not only were we very happy together, but he had more to offer than my first did, and I don’t mean just monetarily.
At the very least, get out of your comfort zone. If you sticking to your type of frat boy football players was working, you would not be on SeekingArrangement. Give someone you normally wouldn’t a chance. It may work out in your favor in a surprising way. If it doesn’t, at the very least you will have gotten coffee out of it and met someone new.
Trusting Too Soon
You have met a potential and enjoyed a wonderful dinner date together, he invites you back to his place and you try to contain your excitement as not to come off too eager. Then you remember, you haven’t been tested since your last visit to the gynecologist… last February, and who knows when he has.
Do not blow caution to the wind. Nothing ruins a one night stand like genital warts that you’ll take to the grave. Take the extra time to know your status and encourage him to do so as well. Yes the whole exchange can be awkward and uncomfortable, but that is nothing in comparison to having to share that you may have given him something preventable yet permanent.
Casually weave it into conversation, via text, over the phone or in person. You could even go to the clinic together, hey testing isn’t free!
You could go flirty, now he’ll actually want to get tested.
Straight to the point, it’s bold and undeniably forward. He will appreciate that you didn’t dance around the topic.
Make it a date! Maybe even grab lunch after.
Show some initiative, let him see that you have done the same.
Your Physical Safety
I’m not saying that you have to break out a background test (though those are available on SA) but you certainly wont regret letting a close friend know you’re going out on a date and to expect to hear from you in some hours. If she tries to pry, and you don’t feel comfortable letting her know, simply tell her you don’t want to go into too many details and she will hear all about it if things go well.
Meet on a casual coffee date for your first meet up, somewhere public and during the day. Don’t got home with someone too soon, nor should you let someone in your home that you don’t know very well. Both could put you in a compromising position. In the event that you do, phone applications like Safetrek are awesome for peace of mind.
At the end of the day, there is no commodity more precious and rare than YOU, so take care of yourself Babe!