Processed Sugar: My Sugar Process


Nov 06, 2015

Over the years, I’ve developed a standard protocol for navigating the world of Sugar Daddy Dating. It seems like only yesterday I was a fledgling baby, creating my profile under the tagline “Naughty College Grad Next Door.”

As soon as my profile was approved, within hours I was bombarded with messages from multiple eligible suitors. The deluge of interest was over-whelming, and the need for an organized systematic screening process became immediately apparent.

Grammar Police

Perhaps it’s my all-girls prep school education, but my first instinct when examining profiles was to inspect for grammar. For some reason, grammar and spelling mistakes raised a red flag for me. Call me the grammar police (you’re the grammar police) – hell, call me an elitist – but if it was sloppy I couldn’t help but wonder whether my prospective SD’s education had included the classic film Schoolhouse Rock. If not, our first date may or may not include a screening. Just kidding.

Photo Privacy

As for the next step of my process, I might be overly cautious, but a public profile picture sometimes appears suspect, especially if it looks like a stock photo of a man in a suit. The way I see it, no avatar means there is something at stake, should the Sugar Daddy in question be found out. A savvier SD will post several private photos, which he can share at his own discretion.

Q & A

If an SD passes my initial criteria, I’ve been known to ask whether he has ever had an SB before and, if so, how the arrangement worked out for them. In the best case scenario, the SD will respond by stating the terms of his previous arrangement – most importantly, how often they met and what allowance he provided.

Such conversations can feel awkward; however, it’s important to be direct. Often, an SD will hesitate, then ask about how my previous arrangements went down. My usual reply to such an inquiry is a brief summary of my numerous positive experiences with the site.

I provide two examples of past successful relationships: one, in which the generous SD and I agreed on a monthly stipend, and another, in which the SD knew in advance that his busy schedule might not allow for regular meetings agreed to less-scheduled spoiling. It’s rare to settle these logistics before an actual meeting face-to-face.

After the initial phase of messaging each other on the site, the SD and I usually will switch to text messaging and, ideally, a brief phone conversation before meeting for coffee or cocktails in a public setting.

Having taken several aspiring Sugar Babies under my wing, I’ve noticed a common phenomenon that can make or break success and longevity. From what I’ve observed, these delightful, charming young ladies have placed too much importance on the gentleman’s appearance. When it comes to Sugar Daddies, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.


Personally, I don’t mind the dad bod – or grandad bod, for that matter. Unless he was severely aesthetically challenged, physical appearance was never a factor for me when selecting a potential Daddy. On the flip side, the Daddy should be aware of this reality as well. On several occasions, I’ve accepted the invitation for drinks with an SD who has attempted to use his toned bod and boyish good looks as a way to bypass the “allowance” portion of the SD/SB relationship. I would suggest these types try OKCupid.

When it comes to SeekingArrangement, the “arrangement” is implicit – all that needs to be discussed and agreed upon are the terms: how much, how often and what each party should be wearing. Often, those who treat SA as a regular dating site are on the younger end of the Sugar Daddy spectrum, which I’ve learned to spot as another red flag. That’s not to say precocious Sugar Daddies do not exist. Simply put, I’ve found them to be a rare breed. In fact, I would venture to say the older the gentleman, the sweeter the arrangement; anything under 40 raises questions. Older, I’ve found, means more generous, less maintenance. Like a fine wine, Daddies are better with age.

If given the choice between a less physically attractive SD and one who is handsome but slightly annoying, I will always select the former. Annoying I do not condone. By annoying, I am usually referring to overzealous texting, or acts that transpire in the boudoir. Personally, a Sugar Daddy who takes forever is not my cup of tea. Again, these are personal tastes.

Optimistic yet discerning, I’ve always approached an initial encounter the same way I would approach “normal,” non-arrangement-seeking dates. That being said, there’s money at stake, and, in this regard, one should aim to make a superb first impression. Once the initial chemistry is reached, monetary gifts can follow naturally. The SD knows what’s expected of him; the key for the SB is to arouse his desire to spoil.

A successful first date ends with a plan: a second date scheduled and a stipend fixed – shopping and travel included perhaps, with the opportunity for raises and bonuses. Happy Sugaring!