Red Flags On A First Date

By Julia Jones

Feb 25, 2019

A first date is a great chance to get to know someone and to decide if a POT has the chance to become a special person in your life. It’s also a great chance to look for red flags so you are able to avoid getting into a relationship or agreement with someone who is going to be unhealthy and toxic towards you because the worst thing about dating is when you get feelings for someone and then realize they are major jerks. Here is a quick list and if your POT does any of these on a first date they may not even be worth a second.

A lot of talk about exes

It’s okay for exes to come up, after all, it might be a good idea to figure some of that out right off the bat, but a lot of talk is a huge red flag. Are they still into their ex? Are they still not over them? Or maybe they want to tell you how evil their ex is that’s a red flag as well because after all, I’m sure they aren’t perfect but if they seem to keep making themselves out to be the one who was hurt the entire time, it might be worth asking questions about how one-sided their stories really are.

Does he make an off-handed comment about something you do or the way you look?

Does he make an odd little comment about the way you look? Remember, it’s the first date and if he’s already willing to make off-handed comments about you on a first freakin’ date you might want to look at what kind of person he really is.

How is he with staff

Chances are if you’re on a first date, there are going to be staff around, so take note of how he is with staff and see he treats people around you- and see how he treats people who are working. If he treats staff like shit, the truth is, he’s not a good human being.

Already setting expectations for what you should be/do

Is your POT already trying to tell you what you should (or shouldn’t) do or how you should (or shouldn’t) look, what you should like, what you shouldn’t enjoy or who you should like or spend time with, and so on and so forth. A man who thinks he has a say in how you live your life is not only an instant turn off but he’s not the kind of person you should spend your time with- and a man who thinks he should have a say in how you live your life on a first date is a huge red flag, in my opinion.

If they get trashed

If they get trashed on the first date are they really all that interested in getting to know you? And, let’s be real, if they are getting trashed on a first date they may very well have a big drinking problem and that’s probably not something you want to deal with and it’s probably not something that is going to be healthy for you.

If they made no effort to look nice

Let’s be real, a first date is about making a good impression. If a POT doesn’t try to look nice for you on a first date, what does that say about how much effort they will put into the relationship in the future? When it comes down to it, you’re going to want to date someone who puts in the effort, right? And if there is a huge lack of effort on a first date, who knows how little there will be on a second.


Do they try to compete with you on everything you say? Or do they seem to compete with people around you? Do most of their stories involve them somehow being better than other people?

Sounds tiring to be around someone so motivated on competing with other people, not to mention overall, it’s not healthy for people to be so competitive but chances are they will always want to compete with you as well, which gets old real freakin’ fast.

Do they actually seem interested in you?

This is a big one.

Does your POT actually seem interested in you? You should have a basic idea of this before you two meet, but if they don’t seem to care about getting to know you, if they seem to only want to talk about themselves, or if they seem rushed to end the date and see if they can take you home- chances are they really aren’t all that interested in you and they are only interested in themselves or getting one thing from you.