How to Respond to Sugar Haters

By Delilah James

Aug 21, 2017

Women are criticized for literally every single thing we do. It’s no surprise that as a Sugar Baby you grow accustomed to getting haters. Sometimes it’s some random loser hiding behind their computer. Sometimes it’s a Salt Daddy. Other times it’s simply being shaded by people you thought were your friends. Whatever it is don’t let it get to you. The only person’s opinion who matters is your own. But in case you want to be prepared to combat the haters, here are some ways to respond to some typical things people say to shade Sugar Babies.


When they say: You only care about men with money.

You say: I care about many things in a man, including someone who’s mature, successful, smart, established, and experienced in treating his partner well. Those things often come with money. So many guys just care about looks, and I don’t see you shaming them for that.

When they say: So you’re basically a prostitute?

You say: No, I am not a prostitute. I still wouldn’t shame a woman who is. That’s not my place. I do the same things that women do as a regular girlfriend. The only difference is I get paid for it. I still have standards, and I don’t sleep with a guy right away if I don’t want to. I enjoy spending time with my Sugar Daddy, and it doesn’t feel like work.

They say: I could never do that.

You say: Congratulations. Would you like a gold star for having such strict morals? Being a Sugar Baby isn’t for everyone, but as your friend I would never passive aggressively shade whatever you choose to do with your life. Being a Sugar Baby works for me. If you have a problem with that then maybe we shouldn’t be friends. 

They say: I thought you were a feminist?

You say: Feminism is about the right to choose what kind of women we want to be. If being conservative and getting a traditional job is what makes you feel empowered, I’m happy for you. Being a Sugar Baby makes me feel empowered because I am using my good looks and my charm to spend time with quality men and I’m getting paid for it. Being a feminist means not shaming others for their decision to do something you might not agree wit. It also means not slut-shaming!

If they say: You’re too smart to be a Sugar Baby!

You say: Yes, I am smart. Which is why men are paying thousands of dollars just to spend time with me. Being a sugar baby means I get to work on my own time and make my own money instead of working for a male-run company and making my boss rich while I get paid a horrible salary. This may not be my long-term plan, but it works for me right now. 

If they say: You’re taking the easy way out. Get a real job!

You say: What’s a real job? Something that’s soul-sucking and takes up seven hours of your day? If that works for you, that’s great, but right now that’s not what will work for me. I would prefer to enjoy my youth and travel. Right now, I like to spend time on me, and not have to sit at a desk all day. I may get a “traditional” job eventually, or maybe I’ll start my own business since I’ve been saving up. It’s not your job to police my decisions.

When they say: Ew you hookup with wrinkly old men?

You say: I don’t have a “pimp.”  The men I choose to sleep with have to meet my standards. If you knew anything about Seeking Arrangement or Sugar Daddies, you’d know that half of the men are seeking a Sugar Baby because they are too busy to waste time with “traditional” dating. Some of the men I date are hardly 30, and many are extremely attractive. The difference is that they actually treat me right, which is a lot more than I could say about the last guy you dated.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, and I’m sure some of you have heard other stupid questions or nasty comments. Whatever the haters say, don’t let them get to you. If you feel happy and empowered (not to mention safe) with what you’re doing, that’s all that really matters. If your friends can’t handle it, maybe they’re not such great friends.