Seeking Arrangement in the Age of Tinder

By NobodysWife

May 16, 2018
Everything in our lives has become more and more instantly available and more and more disposable. Relationships included. When you have access to anything you can possibly imagine, and more, at your fingertips, scrolling down a blue screen becomes second nature in finding that perfect je-ne- sais quoi. Now, just like a product, you can swipe left or right on a human, purely based on the image they have provided the internet with. Putting too much effort into something or holding out for exactly the right thing or person almost seems futile when you can just keep on swiping with endless available options. So how does a site like SeekingArrangement stand up to this and how do you use it to get the most out of what it offers?

Use Seeking Arrangement for What it was Set Up For

It’s easy enough to get sucked into the disposable, instant gratification mind-set. Hearting as many people as you can, simply sending them a private photo request, or messaging copious users with generic one-liners. But you reap just what you sow and quantity sure does not equal quality. If you take the time to carefully read through profiles and only send thoughtful messages and only to those who you truly think might be a suitable match, your results, in the long run, will be much more satisfying. Yes, it takes time and effort, and yes, it’s worth it.

Set Yourself Up Well

Again with the time and effort. Put this into your profile. The more your profile and photos stand out, the clearer you are in your profile as to what you are looking for, and the more it truly reflects you, the more success you will have. If your profile looks like you wrote it on the bus on the way home from the bar and your photos show your cluttered bathroom in the mirror reflection, you’re going to attract people who will value you as much as you have demonstrated yourself in your profile. You will attract users just like you. Who didn’t take the time to set up a quality profile and therefore are most likely not serious about a quality arrangement?

Time and Timing

Don’t expect to immediately find the right arrangement for you. I’m not saying this can’t happen, but most likely it won’t. You’re going to need to execute patience and not lower your standards or compromise your boundaries in the meantime.

The same goes for replying to people on SA. If you are looking for a long-term, quality arrangement, act like it. Make sure you are in a clear headspace when you respond to someone, especially for the first time. It is ok to wait a few hours or even respond the next day. If this turns someone off, they are not looking for a long-term arrangement.

You will also notice that there are more users on at certain times and different types of users at different times. On weekends and holidays, there is a far greater amount of users. This can be a good time to log in to get as many views as you can. But this can also leave you with an inbox that has an overwhelming amount of messages in it and is difficult to sift through. Experiment logging in at different times of the day to see what types of users log in when, so you can expose yourself more to who you want to than just to as many as possible.


The younger you go, the more likely you are to meet someone with a disposable mentality because of the generation they grew up in. The older generations have probably heard of a few of those new-fangled apps, but don’t care to attempt using them. The SA website is as technological as they wish to get when it comes to meeting someone. And they are willing to put in the old time effort of communicating with you and truly getting to know you.

Do What Feels Right for You

If something feels off or uncomfortable, listen to your gut. Don’t let anyone pressure you into entering an arrangement that you’re not comfortable with. Stay focused on your goal of why you joined the site and know that there are people out there who align with what you are looking for.