Let’s face it single mothers get a bad rap. You may come across a POT sending you less than ideal messages or asking inappropriate questions. He may make negative remarks in your face to face meeting. How can you deal with the monocular vision that single moms are pumped and dumped into welfare, live in dishevel, therefore they desperately turn to Sugar Lifestyle? Regardless of the brush you are painted with there are many ways to success being a single mom Sugar Baby.
Charm and Disarm
Take a deep breath and remember that first and foremost you are a Sugar Baby. With that, you have to grow thick skin and not let negativity stir you. A few options to deal with these situations are:
Plainly, answer your POT questions to the point.
Tell your POT it’s a personal boundary you’d like to keep to yourself.
Disarm your POT with a sassy sense of humor, and see if he gets the hint.(see my examples above)
Open your POT eyes to see you beyond stereotypes
Whatever manner you decide to deal with derogatory comments always take the high road, which means do NOT raise your voice, argue with your POT or respond to unfounded provocation.
Use Awkward Questions As An Opportunity To Show Finesse and Composure.
Smile calmly to his lack of understanding. Smiling is a wonderful tool to avoid drama spillover and a beautiful way to add value by educating your POT without patronizing. Keep in mind that some POT really lack social skills and you can guide him if you choose that type of SD. Some POT may also be probing if you are the bitter drama queen with such questions.
On the other hand you can next him, in favor of a POT who prefers a single mom. In a recent meet & greet, a charming POT shared he was raised by a single mother and never saw his father after he was two year old. He told me he had tremendous respect and admiration for single moms and the fact I am a one of them gives him one more reason to pick me as his SB.
Share The ‘Normal’ Aspects Behind Single Motherhood
Facts can be quite simple and painless. You may be the greatest ex-wife who at some point fell out of love and filed for an amicable divorce. Perhaps You are an an ex-girlfriend . You may be an independent mom who used a sperm donor. Or you may be a single mom who adopted a child out of unforeseen circumstances. I fall in one of these quite normal scenarios. If you are ok disclosing your personal life leading into single motherhood, it is easier for a POT to better understand your background and perspective. This is rather than getting a damaged goods sticker by default.
Give Your POT A Purpose In Improving Lives
Part of the assumption that a single mother is undesirable is because they won’t be able to follow their own dreams. She will have to kiss success goodbye. And therefore the ghetto stigma of single motherhood prevail to some.
Let your POT know you never adhere to that stereotype. Make it clear you are not looking for a handout for survival or to maintain shopaholic habits either. Show your POT your hard work, goals and how he can make a difference by helping you build a better life for yourself and your children. Tell him his great mind to mentor you is part of the arrangement and an allowance to fund your greater goals in life make a difference from your own salary means. Your POT may start seeing you just as a deserving Sugar Baby and not as a Single Mother first.