Standing Out in the Sugar Bowl

By Sunny

Jan 25, 2016

Economically speaking, the wealthiest Sugar Daddies on SeekingArrangement are in what is known as ‘the one percent’. They’re the cream of the crop, exceedingly rare both in the general population and in the dating pool. Meanwhile Sugar Babies outnumber Daddies by a lot, eight of us for every one of them.

They’re rare and we’re common, right? Wrong! Just by being on this blog and doing your research you’re already ahead. It’s true that the Sugar Bowl is a numbers game, but it’s easy to make yourself stand out among the others, and become a member of your own one percent. Here are five tips for standing out in the Sugar Bowl.

Thoughtful, Well-Composed Messages

I know, writing first messages can feel like an exercise in futility. There was a point, early on in my efforts, that I became so fed up with being disrespected and low-balled that I began to get lazy and simply ask, in the first message, what was in this for me. As you can imagine, it got me nowhere.

After a few failed dates I finally realized I was sending out exactly what I hated to receive. So I took a new approach and started every message with a greeting: Hello, Hi there, Bonjour, and formatted it like a formal letter, grade school style. No more than two to five sentences and then I would always end with a formal send off.

Easy right? The response has been stellar. Everyone replies, most in a similar, respectful manner (after being unknowingly guided by my tone) and a good amount of them expressed how refreshing it was to be spoken to in a formal, but warm, manner. No emojis, excessive errors or constant slang. Just a friendly, clearly-educated correspondence.

Phone Calls, Like On An Actual Phone

Many of us have been raised in the era of texting and instant messages. Phone calls are for when you can’t text and are usually quick and to the point. But what texts don’t offer is one of the greatest tools of seduction a woman has in her arsenal: the sound of her voice. They also lack the visual reward of Skype or FaceTime, leaving him hooked and wanting more.

Many of these SDs are older and texting, to some them, is annoying and impersonal (I stress the ‘some’ here because plenty of them love to text!). If you offer to call and chat, just for a bit, 10-30 minutes. Not only will they like you more, they’ll also be less skeptical that you’re one of the Internet’s many fake women.

Getting To Know Him Before Negotiating

One of the key principles in the ever-relevant self-help book, How to Win Friends and Influence People is “Become genuinely interested in other people.” Genuinely is key here. If you rattle off a checklist of generic questions and approach potential SD’s the way one might approach a particularly charming but temperamental ATM, they’re likely to notice.

I often hear women complain about being treated like sex objects by potential SDs; it’s safe to assume that the most desirable among SDs feel the same about being treated like a money-dispensing machine. Be more interested in him than you are in his money. It’ll make him feel appreciated and set you apart from the novices.

Note that if your profile is explicit enough in your preferences (if you have a lifestyle expectation, use the feature. If you’ll only consider allowance-based arrangements, find a gracious and practical way to explain it on your profile) then any SD worth seeing will be well aware of that before they reach out to you and, by attempting to start an arrangement, are implicitly agreeing with whatever you have outlined on your profile.

Carry Real Conversations

Another complaint I often hear in the Sugar Bowl is that the ‘less mature’ SBs never seem to have anything to talk about.  One date told me he’d been out with a girl who was beautiful and seemed very nice but whenever he brought up a conversation topic she giddily acquiesced—laughed and smiled and agreed with whatever he said.

This made her seem rather empty-headed, but it was more likely she simply believed in the common misconception that for a woman to be charming, she has to be agreeable. There is a lot of truth to that—no one likes a contrarian for a dinner date. But stating your own well-informed opinions, especially those not necessarily in line with his, will make you seem a bit daring and intriguing.

Present a Challenge

For some new Sugar Babies, being offered anything at all just for a dinner date may seem exciting. Being offered a monthly allowance—of any amount—may have you over the moon. That’s fine, you should be excited about your early successes in the Sugar Bowl. But all that squealing and excitement is better saved for your Sugar BFF or shared on Sugargram.

On actual dates or in correspondences, express genuine gratitude where called for, but keep your head level.  It’s true that men—especially powerful men—like a challenge. A girl who falls to her knees and declares she isn’t worthy when offered a lobster dinner is far from a challenge.
When negotiating allowance for example, never agree to anything right away, say you need time to think. Early on, before an arrangement is agreed upon, don’t feel the need to rearrange your entire schedule to see him. Don’t agree to first dates on very short notice. Show that you can’t be bought. Your value system, standards and internal principles aren’t for sale, but are worth every penny they throw out in their attempts.

Happy Sugaring!