All sweet things have a bitter side, and the Sugar Bowl is no exception. It doesn’t take long to browse the web and find stories of men posing as Sugar Daddies to get into naïve Sugar Baby’s pants.
On the flip side, for every story of a scammer or Salt Daddy, well-intentioned SDs can share one of their own about a rinser, or the salty Sugar Baby equivalent.
You have likely heard a discouraging Sugar story or two. What is even more likely, you may have a couple of your own. These bad experiences leave seemingly permanent scars and rehashing stories can just stir up all of those bad feelings.
Has the pendulum swung too far on the air of caution, which may be hurting your chances of getting a promising arrangement? Whether you are a SB or a SD, take note of a few Sugar mistakes you might be making.
Sugar Babies: Asking for Allowance Upfront
As a Sugar Baby, part of the appeal of an arrangement is the promise of some added financial stability in your life. Given an unexpected expense, it can be very tempting to think Sugar arrangements mean immediate cash in your pocket, just for showing up.
Yes, a real SD will be generous and become a consistent part of your financial well-being. However, asking for money prior to a first meet is a major turn-off for genuine SDs. Complaining about your car repairs, bills, and financial concerns sets the stage for expectations he might not be ready for. This can cause even a good SD to ghost.
Resist the temptation to bring your financial expectations or problems into the mix, especially in the beginning. You should be someone who adds value to his life, not complications and problems. Until you’ve established rapport, keep these personal details vague.
Use this as a screening tool: Most well-intending SDs will not try to lure you with big allowance offers prior to meeting. If a potential SD says “Don’t you want the $500 just for dinner?” right off the bat, it’s probably best to close that door. Real SDs want real relationships, not to give someone they’ve never met hundreds of dollars. SCAM ALERT.
Sugar Babies: Flaking on Meets
Everyone is busy and it’s unfair to assume you are any busier than anyone else, especially a wealthy businessman. Most SDs will feel they are as busy as you (if not busier), despite your work or class schedules.
If you are feeling a good connection with a potential SD in initial conversations, quickly seize the opportunity to meet. This may mean skipping out on a night with friends or committing to stay up a little later. If the arrangement works out, you will quickly forget the temporary exhaustion and inconvenience.
Real SDs want an arrangement that’s a positive addition to their lives, not a source of added stress, uncertainty or flakes. Even if your relative did pass away an hour before a date, rather than give an excuse, simply ask to reschedule and suggest a firm day and time.
Many genuine SDs have been stood up or scammed, compliments of a wild and crazy dramatic story. So the moment the SD hears yours, even if it’s absolutely true, red flags will go up. Minimize flaking at all costs. Maybe you don’t want to travel there or you’re not sure about him, but flaking will likely cause you to lose him for good.
Sugar Daddies: Not Bringing Up Allowance Early On
As important as it is for an arrangement to have mutual chemistry and attraction, financial contribution to your Sugar Baby is expected. Rather than being vague about your ideal arrangement, quickly make it a point to volunteer your allowance amount early in the conversations.
Even if a potential Sugar Baby says she expects $5,000 per month and your offer is $2,000, disclose that right away. She can choose to accept or pass. This will also save the feelings of wasted time for both sides.
Many SBs have been promised the world only for the SD to come up short a month into the dialogue. SBs have gone on first dates having no idea what the SD has in mind. In both cases, the SB is going in with a defensive rather than open minded perspective.
Bringing up a tentative allowance range from the start will be seen as refreshing to SBs and get both sides on the same page prior to investing time and effort in a first date. This will open up the dialogue for a less awkward allowance conversation, which needs to happen eventually.
Sugar Daddies: Causing a Stressful First Meet
Many SBs are nervous prior to meeting a potential Daddy for the first time. This is completely natural. In addition to wondering whether she’s the caliber he’s expecting, many SBs have prior discouraging experiences in the back of their minds.
Sometimes, SBs are quickly pushed to join a potential SD on a lengthy trip or an extensive night out. SDs can ease some of their POT Baby’s frustration by suggesting a very casual first meeting. A shorter, lighter meet means the Sugar Baby does not have to put in an extensive amount of time for someone she has never met.
Nervous or jaded SBs can easily see a first meet consisting of an over-the-top event a red flag. Historically, offers like that are too good to be true. Offering to call her an Uber or help with gas expenses can further put her mind at ease.
Both: Not Being Upfront About Expectations
Most aggravation in the Bowl comes from both potential SBs and SDs not being completely transparent about their intentions, desires and focuses.
Are you exclusively seeking a 20-something SD with the looks of a Greek god? Then, please do not entertain offers and meets with 40-somethings who are surely not as good looking as they were 2 decades ago.
Are you only wanting a platonic arrangement? Be clear with your potential Daddy from day 1. Many genuine SDs have seen initial monthly allowances disappear after the first meeting because the SB was not attracted or comfortable with him.
The end result for the SB? Sure, a few extra dollars in her pocket now, but how about next month? How about the scar left on the genuine SD that may scare off another SB? Without being entitled, make it clear what you will be expecting before you’ve wasted his time, and your own.
Is your expendable income range practical, but you suggest to SBs that it’s substantial? Do you desire your SB to chat with you via text between meets? She needs to understand what you’ll be expecting and how to engage in the arrangement to your liking.
Are you a Sugar Daddy that would rather provide your SB with gifts versus handing over cash? Many times, arrangements between two well-intentioned people fall through because what was promised isn’t what’s happening.
If the expectations are transparent and genuine from the first day, then neither side can feel slighted if things do not work out. After the initial getting to know one another, listing your expectations is the only way to get exactly what you want out of the arrangement.