Tips from a Sugar Daddy

By Ian Oliver

Oct 09, 2015

Men can be difficult to read, but I’ve got some first-hand insight, being a Sugar Daddy myself. Take these tips from a Sugar Daddy into consideration before you join the Sugar bowl.

1. Be very thoughtful about your pictures and profile. Since guys are so visual many will ONLY look at your pictures initially. So, very sexy, revealing pictures most definitely send a message. So ask yourself, is that the message you want to send? What is the message you want to send? Additionally, though many fewer men will actually read what you wrote, be extremely thoughtful about what you write. It makes a huge difference in the number of men who will be interested. Don’t be too sexual or explicit unless you are looking for something very short term.

2. Once an initial contact is made through the site, exchange a few light hearted emails but be sure to talk on the phone soon. That phone conversation is critically important for both of you to determine if there is phone chemistry, and to be specific and direct about what you are looking for. You want to make sure your goals are in line before meeting and possibly wasting each other’s time. One of the great things about SeekingArrangement is that people are more open, frank and direct about what they want so be that!

3. Your first meeting should be drinks and not dinner to protect both of your precious time until you know you get along. Once that is arranged, be thoughtful about what you wear. First impressions for men are HUGE and only happen once. My suggestion is a dress with heels, sexy but elegant, not too revealing and but still subtly sexy.

4. During that first meet, have fun of course but focus on the key questions which are: do I want to see him again? Are we a good match? Is there chemistry? Are we on the same page? Make sure you are really present and try to be as honest with yourself as possible.

5. If the first date is going well, and you have the time, be open to having dinner that night if he asks. Otherwise, if you really do like him, make sure you send non verbal indications as well: small repetitive touches to his arms, extended eye to eye contact, welcoming smiles, hints about another date, etc. It is very important that you show your interest if it is there. It makes a big difference to a man to know he is wanted.

6. The first kiss is important! If you are feeling it, lean in a bit, get closer. Show him with both physical and non verbal cues that you want him to kiss you. Though men like to make the first move, if it feels right, you can lean in and initiate it. Just let him finish it!

7. Don’t have sex on the first date! I know it can be so tempting when everything’s going right. Having sex on the first date means most men assume you do that a lot, and that is a turnoff. Most men also like a chase and the tantalizing prospect of great things to come. So, take it a bit slower and enjoy each sexual step and the delicious discovery of each other. Delayed gratification really is a good thing and you will keep your men much longer that way.

8. In general, remember these mostly true generalizations about men:

A. A man’s ego is much more fragile than those of a woman’s, and they need to be stroked and supported. If you do that well, you will have him for as long as you want!

B. Healthy men want and need regular sex at least 3-4 times a week and if they aren’t having it with you, they will seek it elsewhere.

C. Men are most definitely not mind readers and are, for the most part, clueless! So, tell them and ask them for what you want! Don’t expect them to just know. Not only are men much less intuitive than women, but they also much less present and observant.

D. Despite the appearance of a powerful, confident man, most men really do want that close, intimate, vulnerable experience, but they are afraid of it and need it to happen gently and gradually. Help bring them along that path with supportive encouraging action.

E. Most men don’t like to be smothered, pushed or controlled. Really remember this one. So many women push their men away because of this. Back off, don’t badger or nag and surely don’t criticize without it being posed in strong constructive and positive words.

Want to learn more about the author of this post and his dating views? Check out Ian Oliver’s book at