A Sugar Life can be ever changing. This is what I discovered in my Brown Sugar experience – 6 months in. This is a story of the ups and downs of sugaring and the beautiful lessons we can take away from them.
The Good Life
It was summertime and the living was easy. Just kidding – I was working overtime at my job and never had a second to myself. I was still seeing Garrett, my first Sugar Daddy, most weekends. He was helping me out a lot financially but I was not spending it wisely. It’s one thing to have no money and be looking at the brand new car in your driveway but another thing entirely to have no money, weighed down with massive debt, and no savings. I was the latter. Unfortunately, Garrett reached a point where his funds were being watched and he had to hold off from the sugar for a while.
Back to the Drawing Board
So back onto SeekingArrangement I went. I naively believed that finding another gem like Garrett would not be difficult. I quickly saw how ridiculously lucky I had been with him. Back I was in the land of unread emails, fickle plan making, and otherwise unexciting profiles. I wasn’t sure I would ever find another match.
A New Beginning
That’s when I met Matthew. Twenty three years my senior with an inviting profile, he asked me to meet for coffee. Matthew looked older in person than his profile pictures lead on, but he was still a handsome man. He obviously kept himself up and worked out often. He comforted my safety interests by volunteering his work place, sharing a company photo on their website, and telling me of his previous arrangements. That eased my nerves.
The Honeymoon Phase
I genuinely liked Matthew. He was quick witted, sarcastic, and had a Northern accent I loved to playfully mimic. Matthew was back on the market after his previous Sugar Baby had just married. They were so close he even attended the wedding and wished her well. His straight-forward, no BS attitude mirrored mine and something about spending time with him made me feel like a badass. We frequented sports bars and restaurants, often later in the evening. We’d munch on appetizers and polish off a few drinks before ending our nights.
A Caring Daddy
One thing I appreciated about Matthew was that he cared. If I had one too many drinks, he would pay for my Uber and make sure I got back home safely. He would check in if he felt he hadn’t heard from me in a while. He would always ask about the latest jackass in my life, and give me guy advice should I need it. He didn’t want me to stay single just so I could accommodate him; he wanted me to be happy, and if I found that in someone else, that was always what he encouraged.
One thing I achieved with Matthew, that I have yet to recreate with any other Sugar Daddy, was true intimacy. I don’t like to spend the night – it’s something I prefer to do with a select few. But one night after one too many drinks I went home with Matthew. We talked about everything. I didn’t know he had been married before. He told me why that relationship ended. We talked about kids. I have never once in my life considered having a child, and I’m still not, but if anyone deserves to be a dad, Matthew does. Maybe in another life I could’ve given him that, but I have no desire to be a single mother – no matter how well taken care of I’d be. We talked all night, and it was nice.
Matthew was a textbook example of a traveling business man, however. He was in a different city in the country every other week. He was extremely difficult to track down and even harder to make plans with. Eventually, I had to let go of my controlling ways and let him approach me whenever it was convenient for him. I would send him sexy pictures every now and then to let him know I was thinking of him, and thankfully him forgetting about me was never an issue.
Perks vs. Needs
The perks with Matthew never lined up with what my financial needs were though. With his inconsistent schedule, having a monthly allowance would not have been fair. I saw him every five or six weeks at best. Sometimes the time apart was even longer. Our arrangement was essentially to show him a good time whenever he was in town, and to make him miss me when he was gone. Seeing him was a treat for both of us – I was treated to a nice meal and some spending cash, and he got to see his favorite girl.
Eventually, I felt the time had come to end things with Matthew. I met another Sugar Daddy who wanted something a little more reliable, which was more in line with what I wanted as well. I learned from Matthew that traveling Sugar Daddies are not my style. I am far too clingy, and need far more attention than one could give. I couldn’t travel with him due to my own school and work life, and planning to tag along on business trips is more work than it seems. I am sad that Matthew and I had to go our separate ways but thankful for the time we shared together.