Sometimes in relationships, things can look good on paper but in reality the connection is just not there. My Brown Sugar Experience: 7 months in taught me this as well as the questions I need to be asking myself upfront.
He sent me three paragraphs in our first exchange on SeekingArrangement, commenting on my interests and complimenting me on my work ethic. He was in real estate and his name was Anthony. Anthony quickly became my favorite Sugar Daddy. By the time we met I already had a little experience in the Sugar Bowl. I didn’t fall for the less than classy pay-per-dates that ended in car quickies. I demanded more. I was clear about this with Anthony and it was well received.
An Upgraded Hybrid
I had never experienced such a level of openness before Anthony. My first Sugar Daddy, Garrett, was married and discretion was key. Matthew was single and we went out fairly often but he was hardly ever in the area. Anthony was a complete hybrid of the two. He loved going out and we went out often. Despite the fact that he was married, I felt like a very active part of his life.
A Sweet Deal
Anthony had a lot more to offer than my previous two relationships. Owning a few apartment buildings, it was nothing for him to offer me a place to stay. When my car was on the fritz, he got it fixed for free. We went on lunch dates weekly and it got to the point that his assistant knew who I was. Anthony had a genuine interest in my life. Whenever we met up for lunch, any updates in my love life were a major topic of conversation. He gave me advice and always helped me out with any issues I was having. It was the best relationship I have had in the Sugar Bowl thus far.
From Sweet to Sour
As with any relationship, however, compatibility is key. After about six months together, I knew I did not want to continue our relationship. Anthony was a great guy, and someone I definitely cared about and enjoyed spending time with, but I began to see things differently. His texts went from welcome to annoying. I went from looking forward to our lunch dates to dreading seeing him. Anthony also started to act amazingly sensitive to everything I said, which did not mix well with my straight forward, sarcastic tongue.
All Good Things Must End
I decided it was time for me to move on. I was no longer in a happy, healthy, mutually beneficial relationship. Instead, it had morphed into collecting my allowance on the first of every month and putting up with him the remaining 30 days. It was both unfair to myself and Anthony. He deserved to be with someone who genuinely enjoyed his company and I deserved someone I could be myself with. I got a new job as well as a volunteer position and promptly broke things off. He was disappointed, but understanding.
My relationship with Anthony taught me a lot about myself. Sugaring, under no circumstances, should feel like you are selling yourself in any way shape or form. If you feel like you are just putting up with unattractive behavior, leave. Here are some important questions to ask yourself:
- Do I genuinely like this person?
- Do I honestly enjoy their company?
- Would I date this person if they were my age?
- Are we compatible religiously, politically, lifestyle-wise, etc?
- If the benefits were not on the table, would I still be with this person?
If I can answer all of those questions with an absolute yes, then I will begin a relationship with that person. If, for whatever reason, these things change, it is not the relationship for me.
Hopefully this helps you evaluate where you stand with your POT or existing Sugar Daddy as well!