The first time I joined the Sugar Bowl was in 2016. I’d heard about the site on T.V. and was as intrigued as clueless about being a Sugar Baby and what “Sugaring” actually meant. I created a very basic profile and left it there to ferment. A year later I went back on it, again sparked by curiosity and intrigue, and to my surprise, there were, over 50 messages patiently (and some not so patiently) waiting for me. I was excited! I had no idea what this meant but none the less I was super excited. It can be unnerving when you are first starting out especially if you have no experience or don’t have any friends in the Sugar Community.
First of all, think about why you are doing this, what are your reasons? What are you expecting to get out of sugaring?
When I first started out I underestimated how important it was to have some kind of self-care routine in constant check. Figure out what’s driving you, learn what it is that you’re looking for and be honest with yourself regarding what your limitations are once you enter a sugar relationship.
- Do you know what your comfort level in a relationship is?
- Do you know what you want for an allowance?
- Do I feel empowered and in control?
When it comes to sugaring we’re not talking about transactional encounters or objectifying relationships, this is a world where the quality of the encounter and arrangement is based on the natural chemistry between the Sugar Daddy and the Sugar Baby.
My Sugaring has definitely evolved since I first started. Curiosity set aside, at the time I also needed a heavier inflow of cash to be able to pay my bills, what I was making was simply not enough, so after going through my 50+ messages and responding to almost all of them, I set up some dates and in my mind imagined myself a lá Scrooge diving into a vault full of money and gold. The first guy who I had scheduled a date with quickly turned macabre after he started sending me a series of very detailed and sexts, needless to say, I ended up blocking him.
My first actual date wasn’t so bad and the next date ended up leading to a short fling with someone I am still in touch with today. The process requires patience and articulation from you, more than luck.
I didn’t know what I was doing and I didn’t want to just coast off my looks, being the ferocious student I am I did a little research. In short, Sugar Daddies are mostly older men with more financial stability who have a more colorful mosaic of experiences. I figured being more worldly was the way to go, so I started watching news from more than two sources, switched to ESPN here and there and installed different apps, one with updates in the art world and the other with a science based one. Once I started going out with a potential SD I’d learned what their career was and I would do a bit of research so I could at least know the basics. No two POTs are the same so what might be a successful topic in one conversation can be a complete moment of awkwardness in another. I’ve learned that it helps to be up to date on all kinds of current events and knowing that you did your homework enhances the level of confidence which is always attractive (this is something I now do everyday and it’s a habit I now enjoy, you can never have too much knowledge). As you start meeting POT you will vibe out what kind of person they are and the conversation will organically take its course.
One thing I underestimated when I started out was the profile factor. I figured a flattering picture and some cute words would be more than enough, however, this was not the case. A more casual profile at times can instead generate an unwanted inflow of Salt Daddies which is exactly what it sounds like (not good). To avoid getting your sweet game salted, I recommend a username that strays away from misspelled words and words like sexy, kitten, angel and the like. Be real and honest on your profile when it comes to your physical description. You should be proud and fierce of who you are and confident about what you have to offer. There is a different flavor for everyone, trust me there is a Sugar Daddy out there waiting to meet and spoil you, so don’t be afraid to be truthful!
Confidence is always your best asset NO MATTER what, remember that, baby! Don’t lie about what you want, expect or are looking for with that being said let’s also not write amounts and use dollar signs on our bio. In my experience allowances and numbers shouldn’t be something brought up on the site, texting or before the first meet. Period. You’re looking for an arrangement of substance with a more than a one time encounter, that’s what sugaring is all about. Prepare yourself and do your homework. Remember the law of attraction; the profile you put out is the profile you’ll attract.
Simply take a deep breath and remember why you are doing this. Take another deep breath and remember you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Take a third deep breath and enjoy the sweet ride, because it’s worth it!