I remember signing up for SeekingArrangement like it was yesterday. I was 23 years old, deeply unhappy with my job, and sleeping on a mattress on the floor of a rented room in a group townhouse. I never had extra income, felt like it was impossible to get ahead (or anywhere really), and desperately wanted to quit my job. So, I googled “How to find a Sugar Daddy”, found SA, and jumped head first down the rabbit hole to my first POT (potential Sugar Daddy) date.
A Rookie Mistake
After weeding through lots of horny creeps and weirdos, I finally connected with someone who seemed normal and sincere. We chatted a bit, exchanged numbers, and set up a time and place to meet. Like any smart Sugar Baby, I picked a public location—a VERY public location. In fact, the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. No, I’m not joking. I lived in DC and when I was thinking of all the possible public places to meet, that was what I landed on. Palm, meet forehead. Luckily, he was game to try it out.
Time to Meet
The day came and I was so nervous and excited. He seemed really nice and from his pictures was very good looking—could he be the one? Could I really be so lucky? I got there first, picked a spot that seemed out of earshot from tourists, and waited. Finally, I saw him walking up the steps – he looked exactly like his profile pictures! I do remember that he was really surprised that I looked like my photos as well. With that happy start, we chatted for a bit and then he suggested we go out for a drink. We found a rooftop bar and settled in for what would be a quick glass of wine. I think he was married and had to head home.
I wish this story had a happy ending and I could say that we rode off into the arrangement sunset, but alas, it does not. I woke up the next day to a brief text saying that he was looking for someone more upbeat and peppy—like a cheerleader. Disappointed, I logged back on SA and started messaging other POTs.
I’d like to take a moment to pause and break down what happened, especially what I’d do differently now that I’ve been Sugaring for a while. Let’s start with exchanging numbers. I gave him my real number, which is something I absolutely do not recommend. Even if you have nothing to hide, there are creeps and weirdos who will use your number for horrible things like blackmailing, stalking, etc. Luckily, there are lots of apps available that provide a second number for free, so there’s no excuse!
Set the Mood
Secondly, while meeting in a public space is for sure the best and safest way to get to know someone, there is such a thing as too public of a space. Grabbing a drink at a wine bar is my preferred POT date because both parties have a chance to unwind and relax. Grabbing coffee is also great, though decidedly less sexy. Even grabbing a coffee and snack to go while strolling through a park could be fun. But meeting at a national monument takes it a little too far and is dull.
Lastly, you absolutely do not need to be a peppy cheerleader to succeed on SA. I remember feeling really down after receiving this POT’s text and questioned whether I’d have any success in the Sugar Bowl since I’m naturally shy and reserved. Of course, feeling that way is silly—there’s someone for everyone in the Sugar Bowl. While putting your best foot forward matters, please don’t feel obligated to turn into someone else to make your date happy. Just be yourself!
Have fun and happy Sugaring!