Have you ever wanted something you can’t have? Then somehow you obtain that item or person, and it turns out that it’s just not what you thought it will be. This was me about four years ago. Four years ago I was in a leadership program where I was introduced to a popular reality tv show couple. At this program, the couple shared their independent journeys with us about their path to success. Out of the couple’s stories, the one that stood out most to me was the story of the husband. The husband had a similar story to mine and was extremely attractive.
Discussing his past life of foster care homes and trouble, his eyes constantly linked with mine, causing me to blush and look the other direction. He discussed his life of crime, and how he was on the path of changing his life around for the best. After his speech, the meeting for the program was over, and students and guest speakers were all mingling among the lobby. I greeted my favorite speakers which were the couple of course and expressed my appreciation for sharing their stories. Luckily, the wife got pulled away right on time, and in just enough time for her husband to give me a friendly hug, and his business card. Eager to keep his attention I excused myself to the restroom to shoot him a text letting him know that the number I was texting from was my number.
Needless to say, he wasted no time hitting me up. We texted the whole time I was on the way home. Much of our texts consisted of the obvious flirtatious banter, but of course, he explained to me more about his life, his business, and his wife. He wanted me to come out and drink. At the time I was slightly below the drinking age, and living with my grandma, so I had to come up with excuses of why I couldn’t leave out when requested. He agreed to pick me up from my grandma’s house later that night. By the time he was to arrive to come to get me I already had my lie on who I was with, where I was going, and why I wouldn’t be returning that night.
He arrived in a white BMW, and the look on my grandma’s face was puzzling because the windows on the car were darkly tinted, hiding the disguise of my new lover and I.After getting in the ar he told me we were headed to his office. We arrived at his office, and we drank a few glasses of wine. We talked about whether the tabloids in the media was true, his marriage, the allegations, and then asked me about my experiences with men. I shared with him my preference of older men, and he expressed to me that there is a lot he could teach me. He offered me a small part-time position at his company where I basically was in charge of posting and reposting on social media. Throughout the conversation, I sat in his lap, and every now and then he would kiss me. I liked the way he made me feel. He seemed like an angel, but at the end of the day, he was a married man.
There was definitely extreme sexual tension that night in the office, but being that it was our first night, him wanting verification of my age, and my guilty conscience of possibly dealing with a married man, the night didn’t end how you all may think it did. He dropped me off, kissed me, gave me some money, and told me to be ready to see him again tomorrow.
The next day I was gifted with a fake ID, a mini shopping spree, and a night out at one of Atlanta’s hottest strip clubs. After our busy day, we got a honeymoon suite uptown and enjoyed
each other’s company. That night we explored and learned each other, I learned about his linking for swinger parties and sex toys. I was a bit overwhelmed because I had been with older men before, but not an older man so deep into a sexual world I knew nothing about. The next morning we left out early due to his wife blowing up the phone, and due to a serious court case between them and against him, he sent me home and told me he would hit me later that night.
In the days soon to come, we talked about becoming serious leaving town together, and him coming to see me. Little to his knowledge I was leaving town soon and didn’t exactly know how to tell him I would be back and forth between cities. With me not knowing how to tell him important information, he clearly was scared to tell me about a lot of things too, but he didn’t have to. The blogs and news stations told it all. With me heading off to school, he would soon be heading off to prison. With both of us facing separation from each other, his wife knowing about the side chicks and mistresses (I wasn’t the only one), and then knowing my mom found out who this mystery man I’ve been sneaking off with is, I felt like I was in deep trouble.
Would his wife contact me? Was I the girl they wrote about in the blogs? What if pictures would surface? Would this ruin my reputation? Will our secret come to light? Will I see him in prison? Will they call me to court? It was a million and one scenarios running through my head as to what could possibly happen between me and him. Furious about the rumors I was hearing and the fact I may not see him soon. I sent him an angry text about him being a liar, preying on young girls, and cheating multiple times on his wife. He quickly appeased my tantrum telling me he wanted to see me. We rode around the city while he told me how sorry he was, why he didn’t tell me the truth but everything, and how he loved and cared for me. Did he truly love and care for me? I think not. You will soon find out the reason why.
After he showered me with apologies and kisses. It 3was my turn to face the music. I told him I was scared to tell him I was leaving because I did not know the extinct of how serious we were, but seeing how he had me wrapped around his figure I agreed to come back and see him in the city, and also in jail. After this conversation, the next day was my last day in town. We linked up had a nice dinner, ent out, and got a luxury suite. We left the suite went to a local sex store where he brought me little toys and lingerie, so I can only remain true to him before he surrendered himself. Afterward, he took me home where I proceeded to leave town the next day.
With our time apart, we kept in constant communication with video calls, late night calls, and texts. At this point, the conversation of us getting to know each other and building a family quickly ended. All our conversations since I left town were strictly sexual and late at night. Outside of that our talks consisted of me not giving myself away to anyone but him. With me truly being treated like the mistress I was becoming angry when his funds were running low due to the court case and his new sentence. He would attempt to appease me by flights to ATL on the weekends, but those consisted of me being in a hotel all weekend with a $250 allowance, only for him to come back late that night so he can satisfy himself, and take a nap. My last flight before he went to prison he gave me all the information I needed to keep in touch with him. H even had his brother to contact me and make sure I knew the details of how to get in touch with him if I needed anything and vice versa.
With him gone I still kept in touch and maintained the frequent trips back and forth to Atlanta. Prior to his sentence, he recommended I start working at one of the clubs he took me to,
and I took him up on the offer. While he was in prison our conversations were super sexually motivated. Anything outside of that was what he was doing in prison, his crazy wife, not seeing his kids, and paying off his retribution. I paid for jail calls, put money on his book, and mailed him pictures of myself. At one point I thought we were pretty serious, and I was happy until the media started with the rumors about him begging girls for money in letters, and news about him dating a woman in which he proposed to. With him becoming more comfortable in prison, and me sending money regularly I definitely threw one of my temper tantrums. He told me to not worry about everything and they were just rumors. I calmed down, not because I believed him, but due to him being in jail, of course, I had to set up some new arrangements. Pretty soon I grew tired of him asking for money, whining about his problems, and the sexual chemistry just wasn’t there anymore. AT ALL. On our last call and last time, we talked he asked me about work at the club, and basically requested money. I told him I’m tired of sending money and that I wasn’t going to do it anymore. He told me he didn’t want me to dance anyway and that it changed me. He told me that he knew the club would take me away from him. We got into a pretty heated exchange of words where we both said hurtful things to each other. We vowed we would never speak to each other again, and that we were dead to each other especially after he got married not too soon after to the woman he proposed to.
So now the question comes up again: did he really love me? No my affair with this man was a situation in which we both wanted something we couldn’t have. We both enjoyed a thrill of excitement of sneaking around, and of course, our sexual energy drove this arrangement to go on for over two years. With the obvious age difference, he saw the opportunity to blind me with materialistic things only to use that and me to help aid him in staying financed while incarcerated. Just like I used him for the dates, money, gifts, and sex, it’s crazy how he turned right around and used me for the same. Just like he had a wife and multiple other women he stepped out on, I too had my own guilt about having other arrangements outside of him.
My number has since then changed and very rarely is he in the news. He was sentenced to eight years in prison, and maybe up to date, he has served about half of that. We haven’t been in touch since the argument, and from time to time my mind does drift off to him, but only in moments of pleasure. Sometimes what you always want isn’t always what you should have.