Can you look back and remember every detail of your first arrangement? I sure can – and not for the reasons you may think. Here is my Sugar Baby confession of my first arrangement with a BDSM Daddy.
I actually met my first SD on an LGBTQ website for men into the kinky scene (I’m a pansexual male). After having chatted for a couple weeks, we met for a nice dinner and talked for hours discussing our interests and whatnot. The conversation was enjoyable, and as recommended in Sugaring Etiquette, I excused myself and went to the washroom right after he asked for the check. It seemed to be a rather normal date.
After dinner, we drove back to his modest apartment in his convertible. He lived near a lake and had a nice little view of the city lights. We talked a little bit more, but this time, the conversation was sexually-charged, he even showed me his bondage collection. But that was it – nothing sexual took place.
Following that night, we lost contact with each other. And to be honest, I was not that into him. After a couple of weeks, I stumbled across his profile on SeekingArrangement, and I knew I had to contact him ($tability). I sent him a message.
After exchanging messages for about a week, we started sharing our schedules so we could coordinate a date. We met at his apartment and discussed what we both were looking for. He was looking for some rough fun once in awhile and he offered to pay me $200 after every BDSM session. I rejected the offer of course, because I’m not into prostitution. I asked for nothing less than $1700 per month with around four or five meetings. He said, “Sorry, I cannot afford that.” I didn’t want to miss out on an arrangement, so I countered: ”What if we meet six times per month for $1500?” Surprisingly, he said yes.
At the time, I felt like a lottery winner! We kept in touch and planned out our next few meetings. However, he got sick and was unable to meet during one of our scheduled weeks. After he recovered (two weeks later), I met up with him and asked what he wanted to do in terms of the arrangement, as he had to skip one of our six monthly meetings. He seemed offended and immediately raised his voice – accusing me of wanting extra allowance. I was stunned and unsure how to react. He told me that I better find another Sugar Daddy who can afford my time, because he couldn’t. Basically he was cancelling the arrangement.
Letting cooler heads prevail, we talked things out and reworked our arrangement to $750 monthly allowance for three meetings (whenever he decided). Of course, this was not what I was looking for but, at the time, I thought it was better than nothing, and I wasn’t going to do anything I was uncomfortable with.
I have learned quite a bit from that first SD encounter and wanted to share some friendly advice. To all my Sugar Babies: money is not more important than your integrity! Do NOT lower your standards or allow someone to cheapen you. These arrangements are meant to be mutually beneficial, not just one-sided.