Role-Play, Anyone?


Sep 25, 2015

After four fabulous years on SeekingArrangement, I’ve developed quite the role-play resume, and not just in the bedroom. When it comes to the qualities of a successful Sugar Baby, versatility is key. Through my Sugaring adventures, I’ve learned to wear many hats – or shall I say tiaras? In my opinion, a collection of richly-ornamented crowns sounds like more appropriate head-wear for a properly-pampered princess.

Shortly after joining the site, I met Filip, a 42-year-old crystallographer. What’s that, you ask? Much to my displeasure, it apparently has little to do with crystals. After exchanging messages and speaking over the phone, Filip and I decided to meet for dinner at a seafood restaurant downtown. I dined on lobster bisque and swordfish. He tried the ahi tuna.

Between the casual foot-play and wandering hands beneath the tablecloth, Filip asked me to join him for a week-long crystallography conference in New Orleans at the end of the month. The trip would be mutually beneficial, he assured me, and I gladly accepted the invite.

One week after my college graduation, I was NOLA bound. Airborne, Filip and I nibbled on sandwiches while he gave me the rundown for the week. Over the course of the five day conference, his schedule would be filled with panels and seminars from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.. Therefore, I would have the freedom to wake at my leisure, order room service, hit the gym and spa, and most importantly, wander around Bourbon Street slurping endless daiquiris. I’ve always loved a vacation.

Upon arriving at the hotel, Filip requested my company that evening for the opening banquet.

“Should I tell people I’m your daughter?” I asked.

“Oh God, no. My colleagues know my daughter is 3, ” he laughed.

“How about your niece?”

“Still risky.” Intern, we decided, was the best option.

Downstairs at the soiree, each organization hosted its own display booth, showcasing the latest developments in crystallographer technology. While Filip socialized with work acquaintances, I sipped on a cosmo and made my rounds, feigning curiosity and snagging free samples of crystallography-themed knick-knacks: keychains, pins, lanyards, and a (slightly hazardous) jackknife.

As the only young woman in attendance, aside from several highly accomplished female scientists, I became the subject of intensive, cutting edge research in the study of intermingling and mating rituals between the sexes.

“So, my dear, what is your primary area of expertise?” asked a disheveled Albert Einstein type.

“Crystallography,” I replied.

“Uh…” This was awkward. Clearly my answer did not suffice.

“I mean, just kidding! Obviously, you meant besides crystallography.”

“Oh, right. Ha! Wow, you’re funny.” He gave a hearty guffaw.

“Well, I’m an intern, you see, so mainly field work. And innovative microscopes,” I explained, racking my brain for science terms. “Neutrons, Bunsen burners….”

My Einsteinian friend was nodding along with interest. Now I was speaking his language!
“Apparatuses, safety goggles,” I continued. “That sort of thing.” My high school chemistry teacher would have been so proud.

In reality, crystallography is the study of atom configurations through x-rays, but for the time being, I was the life of the party, waxing poetic about elementary level science and dropping brainiac words left and right like a true wiz kid. “Personally, I’ve always believed a valid hypothesis needs evidence and a working method,” I lectured. “So, what are your opinions on methanol? Ethanol? Alcohol? No, seriously, where’s the alcohol?”

“HA! Isn’t she great?” Filip had come to rescue me, but I was holding my own, which made him immensely proud.

After sitting down for dinner and listening to several invigorating keynote speakers, Filip and I retreated to our room, where we popped a bottle of celebratory champagne and fed each other chocolate-covered strawberries (and a banana) in the jacuzzi.

The next morning I slept in, and Filip left my daily allowance on the bedside table (separate from the substantial gift we’d agreed upon for the week). Deliciously rested, I awoke from my slumber, ordered French toast, hot tea and a fruit plate and watched Hoda & Kathie Lee on the Today show. After some light elliptical in the gym and a hot stone massage, it was time to see the sights.

The aquarium beckoned, and I ventured to the butterfly exhibit and Mardi Gras museum, which offered free King’s Cake. Numerous jester photo stands begged me to poke my creepy little face through for a photo op. I even stole a paper mache hand as a souvenir. I was living!

Each night when the clock struck six, I plopped myself in the hot-tub, awaiting Filip’s arrival. Spent after his hard day of crystallography, he was ready to relax with a daiquiri and some light-hearted fun of the non-scientific variety, which I was more than happy to provide. We splished a little, splashed a lot, and fooled around for a bit before getting ready for our boozy nights on the town. Bowls of fancy gumbo ensued, followed by fish fillets, creme brulees, French beignets and jazzy serenades.

Thanks to Filip’s generous allowance, I was able to retire early from my career as a crystallographer. But as far as I know, I was an entirely convincing intern.

Sometimes the art of discretion calls for chameleon-like abilities. The Sugar Baby who is up for anything and who genuinely appreciates new and unusual situations will have the most fun. Lord knows I did!

Yours truly,