It’s October and you know what that means—Halloween is right around the corner! In honor of the spooky holiday, I thought I’d share a few Sugar Baby horror stories. It’s true that you need to sift through a lot of salt and splenda to find the real Sugar—and in that process, you can meet some real duds. Here are two stories that stand out, along with what to do if something similar happens to you.
Horny & Sloppy
A year or so ago, I totally revamped my profile and got a flood of new messages. One of the first POTs to message me was gorgeous, in his mid-forties, and seemed like he had experience with arrangements. His profile had pics that showed off his toned, buff bod so I was totally down when he suggested we grab a coffee the next day. I couldn’t believe my luck—OMG, I’d hit the jackpot!
I was pleasantly surprised when we met the next day—he was exactly like his profile and seemed very nice. We bought our coffee and then found a table, sitting side by side. We were engaged in small talk, when he slyly leaned in towards me. I thought he was going to whisper something so I leaned in as well, when I felt something wet on my ear: his tongue. And he wasn’t just playfully nibbling—he was full on making out with my ear. *Kevin Hart voice* I wasn’t ready! Needless to say, this POT did not graduate to SD. I bolted out of that coffee shop and didn’t look back.
Now, don’t get me wrong—paying attention to the ears can be wonderful in the bedroom. But on the first date, when you barely know each other? Ew! When a POT crosses the line and gets sloppy, slam on the brakes. Don’t try to “be cool” and go along with it. If he makes you uncomfortable, tell him or get out!
49… at Heart
This story comes from when I was a newbie to the Sugar World, about three or four years ago. I’d agreed to meet a POT for drinks one afternoon and was pretty excited—he wrote that he was 49, fit, and had experience with arrangements. Everything seemed to check out—until we actually met at the restaurant.
He texted me beforehand to tell me what he was wearing, since we hadn’t exchanged pictures. And of course, when I saw him, I realized he was definitely much older than 49—probably more like 79. To add insult to injury, his hygiene routine left much to be desired. His teeth were crooked and yellow and he smelled awful.
I tried to be polite and make small talk, but I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye. He noticed, of course, and said “I can tell by the look on your face that I’m not the guy for you.” I felt so terrible and tried to stammer out an apology. He was nice about it and paid for the untouched glasses of wine before we parted ways. Mortified by the experience, I vowed to be more careful about asking for pics going forward.
If you’re in a similar situation with a POT who’s reluctant to share pics, offer to Skype or FaceTime instead. You’ll have more peace of mind about what he actually looks like, and he can show how tech savvy he is, which can be pretty important with older SDs. That way, you won’t waste precious time arranging to meet someone who isn’t up to par.
Don’t Be Scared
Don’t let these stories get you down—there are plenty of real gentlemen out there, eager to be your SD. Sometimes you just have to sift through the Salt and Splenda to find them.
Good luck and happy Sugarween!