Sugaring as a Feminist

By Mila B

Apr 18, 2017

When I first heard about SeekingArrangement, as a Feminist, I was very skeptical. The whole concept of an arrangement seemed to play on long-standing gender roles: women find their value in beauty, men find their value in wealth. I assumed that for Daddies the hunt for a Sugar Baby was merely a beauty contest and their attention would be granted to the girls with the longest legs and biggest busts. I was sorely mistaken. Here is what I actually learned while Sugaring as a Feminist…

Finding My Voice

I remember sharing a bottle of champagne with a successful entrepreneur when he told me that he would always hire a man over a woman because the man wouldn’t just up and leave for a year to have a baby. I snapped. We had an hour-long debate about women in the workplace where I expressed myself in an articulate, calm, and factual manner. By the time the check came, he had put his hands up and said “You’re right. I’ve never thought about it that way.” He actually ended up being my first Sugar Daddy. We formed a beautiful arrangement where we both constantly challenged each other, which I believe helped me grow as an intellectually engaged young woman.

Beauty AND Brains

After Sugaring for a year, I realized my valuable attribute was not my looks at all. What made me stand out, and as a result found me a lot of attention from Sugar Daddies, was the fact that I could articulate my thoughts, hold complex opinions about culture and politics, and debate with a Sugar Daddy if he said something I didn’t agree with.


As soon as I started speaking up, I would almost immediately gain the respect of a Sugar Daddy and contradict any sexist beliefs he held. I no longer felt as if I was sacrificing my morals for a potential arrangement and actually felt like I was making a difference. I have debated many POTs and all of them were impressed by my strong-mindedness and eradicated any beliefs they may have had that all women are inherently quiet and submissive.

Finding Balance

Sometimes no matter how hard we try, a POT will be stuck in his ways. After all, chances are the two of you come from different generations with different values. But sometimes you like a POT enough to get past this. I’ve not always seen eye-to-eye with my Sugar Daddies on the topics of politics and social politics, but if they’re kind, respectful and have good intentions, there can still be a healthy and happy relationship. Do not be afraid to speak up and be true to yourself!

Final Thoughts

All of my qualms about where the value of a Sugar Baby lies have been settled and I have been given a new sense of confidence as I know that I can stand up for myself in any situation. Ladies, never ever let a man in any situation compromise your personal values. You are stronger than that- and strong is the new sexy!