Sweet Friendship Gone Sour

By Ms. M

Aug 11, 2017

Unexpectedly my friend, Yvonne, asked me, “How do you make money?” She was very direct.   We had just finished lunch on the patio of one of my favorite seafood restaurants It was my turn to pay the check, so I did.  I have known Yvonne for six years.  We got pedicures together, had lunch together every other week, took the kids camping together.  Our kids played together on a weekly basis.  And I’d never told her about my side job.  I had never told anyone.  I am a small business owner and a full-time Sugar Baby.

Disbelief

I decided to tell Yvonne all about my sweet job and the SeekingArrangement website.  She seemed genuinely interested. So I told her I have been a Sugar Baby for a while and I love it.  It was major for me to share. I confessed that I have a few arrangements and that it’s worked out for me for almost two years.  She could not believe it. I could see her eyes in absolute shock.

She sat quietly with a weird look on her face for about three minutes.  Like she was letting it all soak in.  Then the questions.  “How did you find out about it?”  “Isn’t it weird going out with strangers for money?”  And of course, “How much money do you make?” The secret was out now so I was open to all her questions and blatantly honest about everything.  I answered her questions:  I decided to Google sugar daddy dating sites one day because it sounded like it would be a fun side job.  Meeting new potentials is just like going out on a first date except they pay me for my time.  And I make very good money.

 

Sharing the Spoils

I told her that most of my monthly getaways and shopping trips were funded by my Sugar Pay.  Most of my designer dresses and handbags were gifts from my Sugar Daddies.  My new car was a gift to myself- but funded by my Sugar Pay.   I couldn’t tell right away if Yvonne was disgusted or intrigued.  But the next day she called me to say she was dropping by so I could proofread her SeekingArrangement profile.  We worked on it for about half an hour and she was excited to see if the Sugar Baby job would be a good fit.

It’s Not for Everyone

Two months had passed since Yvonne joined the site and she hadn’t met any potentials.  She had carried on a few online conversations with a few guys for several weeks but nothing seemed to work out. I never heard of her talking to anyone on the phone.  She never me any potentials in person.  She asked me if had any advice that may speed things up a bit.  I didn’t want to get very personal or ask too many questions about her situation. I gave her the most important tip I have learned.  That is to be upfront about what you need.

I have learned that the start of a great arrangement is to let your Daddy know right away what you are expecting.  This breaks the ice and determines whether further conversation is a waste of time.  Yvonne chatted for hours every week with several potentials and even changed up her profile a few times but nothing came of it.  After three months, she decided to stop pursuing a Sugar Daddy arrangement.  This was when I our friendship took a subtle turn.

Things Took a Turn

Things changed.  Yvonne stopped joining me for lunch.  Her reason was she had no money.  She stopped joining me and the kids on little getaways.  Her reason was she didn’t have the money.  Our weekly pedicures abruptly ended.  We didn’t talk about much of anything anymore.  And when we she did call me, she made a point to mention money during each conversation.  It felt strange to me.  I had always paid for more than my share for most of our little trips and it was never a problem.  Now it was different.

Now she seemed as if she wanted to make me feel like I should pay for everything because I made more money and I made it more easily than she made hers.  If I suggested lunch, she said she could go if I paid.  If I suggested a pedicure, she said she could go if it was my treat.  She even suggested we throw a huge holiday party at my house and I pay for the food, drinks, and bouncer for the kids.  She wanted to pay nothing for her own party idea.  This made me angry then sad.

 

Am I to Blame?

Why was she making me feel like I had to pay for our friendship now?  Why is she acting like my money is more disposable than her own?  Is this some type of reaction because SeekingArrangement adventure didn’t get anywhere?  None of it makes any sense to me and I am done trying to figure it out.  I don’t answer her calls anymore.  I don’t respond to her text messages.  She still tries to communicate but I no longer see the point.  A friendship of six years gone was gone in three months.  Coincidentally after I revealed a truth about myself.  I thought that was what friends do.