Home Sugar Support™ Forum Advice $1000 gift first meet?

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by SFwinefan SFwinefan 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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    I hope this will be the first post of many regarding my new SR. To provide some background, I have been a member of SA for almost 6 years and am in my 20’s. I’m located between a few major cities where there seems to be a high concentration of genuine members.

    I reached out to a member who I thought would be a good fit for me and, long story short, within a week or so of our first phone call, we decided to meet up for lunch on a Friday. I genuinely enjoyed every minute of the conversation, specifically his business knowledge and travel stories, and did my best to keep up. I DID NOT mention anything about my expenses (driving an hour and a half each way), inconveniences (had to take a half day from work), and uncertainties – obviously. It was clear based on some of his luxurious travel experiences that he is exceptionally wealthy (apparently certain airlines have showers in the first class cabins..?)

    On my drive home, he messaged me that he was eager to meet again soon, as was I. We made plans to meet the following night – again, about an hour and a half from where I live. I knew he had dinner plans that night, so we’d only have a few hours to spend at a hotel he had booked. When I arrived, he gave me a card and said it was a gift for an upcoming trip I had mentioned. I thanked him and put it in my purse. Now, for the sake of the advice I’m seeking, I’m going to fast forward to less than 3 hours later when I’m in my car and open up an envelope with $1,000 cash that I had received before anything physical had occurred between us.

    I feel like I’ve made the right moves to get to this point, but my only prior SR from SA was with someone local and we had a more traditional/emotional relationship (he would text or call me almost daily). When dealing with someone who values their time over their money, what is the best way I can give him his space while letting him know I want to continue developing our SR? He is aware that I will be traveling most of April. Should I reach out if I have time to see him before I leave? He splits his time between Cali, NY and Florida… so should I wait for him to reach out when he’s back in my city? I know he had his last SB for multiple years and is only looking for something longterm now as well. Does anyone have advice to keep things going in the right direction? Other than the obvious, “just be yourself!” any advice would be appreciated.


    The first thing is to do the basics. Thank him for the gift, tell him you had a wonderful time and that you are looking forward to seeing him again.

    His responses may give you an idea … it may just flow naturally from there. If it does not, wait a few days, send a note that you’re thinking of him and that you would enjoy learning how often he wants to be in touch for meetings and between meetings.

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