After a few weeks, yet not a month, here’s what I’ve learned.
1. Put your bikini/lingerie picture as your primary.
2. Filter emails and read the filtered one just in case, but avoid time wasters.
3. Be honest in your replies, guys here don’t dwell on the past! Yay! 😊
4. Don’t dwell on the past also!! 😂
5. M&G after less than 10 back&forth messages… and I’m being waaaay to nice with 10!!
6. Don’t give out any personal info AT LEAST until you meet.
7. Read the “Free styling” topic on this forun! Girl, you’ll get your confidence back in NO TIME!!!
More and more… but those are the basics.
Thanks for asking,
Quite slow. I’ve been rejected twice due to my age and once due to my smoking habit.
Had 2 M&G, yet, both wanted romance yet, their status were both “Married but looking”. I can get the need to create a connection, but romance is much intrusive. I almost mentioned that I’d prefer married men, but reconsidered since it might shut me from potential SDs. The great thing is, the population here ain’t that bad, so I’m taking my time and I often update my profile while rotating my pictures.
I’ve read that you did find someone very generous and respectful! It can take a while as I understand, but it sure sounds like a great reward when you do connect !
Again, thanks a lot for asking !!
Thanks for the update and you are welcome. Keep at it and don’t let the rejection get to you. In due course, something good will come along. I also prefer married men for many reasons and didn’t state it openly on the profile to not limit the pool of POTs when i was looking but asked questions to quickly weed out dead weight.
So I am glad you don’t have it on your profile. I like your optimism and please update from time to time…
P.S Yes, he is a very good man and I consider myself lucky to have him :).
Again, such a pleasant read whenever I get to set my eyes on your replies.
This week, I modified my profile, added more details about “who I am” and “what I can offer”. In the meantime, had 2 M&G scheduled.
Well, one of them was listed as a sex offender for “offering money for sex” and the other canceled roughly 2 hours before the meeting due to an urgent family matter. (Lots of that on SA so far…)
So, Mr Sex offender can’t really be flagged… I believe all SDs and none SDs for that matter could be tagged as such. However, the fact that he got popular enough to end up on a “Red flag” website made me decide to bail out politely.
As for Mr. Family, he still managed to send me a picture of him… completely naked, yet hiding is Gift of God in sign of apology! I can see how “worried” he was about his supposedly family urgency. Quite hilarious though.
I’m now working on a more elaborated list of questions to ask a Pot SD, to upgrade my weeding process before a M&G.
Having no stress about finding someone fast, I’m pretty much enjoying this childish chase. Seeing how you did managed to meet someone through SA while clearly being a smart lady makes me want to keep going and bettering myself. Maybe there’s real men on SA… well actually there is, but seems they’re basically only on this forum. Better than none.
I’ve read about how you began, your plan of actions (brilliant), the M&Gs. Simply amazing how you managed all this in what I figured was relatively quickly… about 2 to 3 months? Correct me if I’m wrong.
Mind to share some untold stories, either about your current SD or others?
P.S. I’m now separating my forum account from my SA account. I’ll remain FuryForLuxury here.
@fury. That red flag site were the SD came up as a sex offender is fake. There a few sites like that out there that just go through profiles and grab the picture and user name and hold the person hostage. They are trying to blackmail the SD into paying a fee to be removed. Which doesnt preclude them from being added to another similar site. Dig into those sites and you will find none of them are in the U.S. Do not let that deter you from contacting that POT SD.
You give me more credit than I deserve :). Thank you though. I agree with @southernsd. Pay attention to those kind of sites. Some SBs are vindictive and put men who don’t deserve to be on those sites there so be weary. I am glad you are taking time to vet these people out and re-writing your profile. Doesn’t hurt to change it up at al from time to time. As long as you keep your eyes on the prize, you will be fine.
As for the meet and greet, I personally don’t care for men who send me naked Selfie’s. Just a personal preference. My current SD did none of those and I can barely keep up with him hahaha. To me naked Selfies aren’t an indication of anything.
Go with your gut always. Those with the excuses are just well… cowards. If you are not interested in a M & G, say so and don’t waste anyone’s time you know..
There are real men on SA. Most people say very wealthy people don’t use it – SA and its a lie and strongly disagree. I can attest to it. For me, prior to joining SA, I did free styling unconsciously. By that I mean, I dated older men (My preference) who helped me out a bit..
It was after my last relationship that I decided I wanted something where I put out terms without the full commitment. I felt I was giving more and it was being taken for granted. The current SD is my first one from SA. It wasn’t’ easy nor quick but now I am glad I waited. It took me about too 2 months. This will be long so I will add in bits.
For my current;
– He message me first. No picture and was very firm about not sending me a pic.
-His location on his profile didn’t make sense. He said he lived in a town where well, you wouldn’t catch me hanging out in haha. His grammar was very good, was well read, knew about paintings, travelled the world and only gave me a first name (refused to give me a last name).
– This got me really curious as to who was behind the faceless profile with abrupt responses.
– During the chat (about 2 weeks back and forth), he never requested to see my private pics (I was like what the hell), I asked if he wanted to see them and he said “NO”. That response made me give him access and afterwards he said excellent pics and thanked me.
– Now I got really curious. I asked if he was a serial killer, he said ” No” and I told him his behavior was odd. He responded with a question, what does your gut tell you about me? I said I wanted to meet him and had a good feeling about him. He then responded to me with a “Smiley face” haha..
– I then gave him my phone number (initially a burner) for him to text if he wanted to. He thanked me and said, I am glad you trust me enough to send me your phone number. But he never sent his. In my head, I called him a bunch of filthy names and was like whatever..
M & G
– The first date he presented me was bad as I had something already planned (was going to a museum) so I re- scheduled. He was very understanding and gave me a second date which worked.
– He told me what he’d be wearing and I was to walk away without saying hi if I didn’t like what I saw. I said ok.
– I walked into the coffee shop and immediately froze. Leaning against the wall was this gorgeous man, with steely gray eyes staring deeply at me as I walked in. I got nervous and just stood there staring haha. He smiled and came over and asked if its ok to get a hug. I hugged him and laughed and he said ” I am guessing you are not walking away?”, I smiled and said no.
– We got coffee and he refused to allow me to pay. He smelled really nice and had on a nice polo shirt and khaki shorts revealing some damn sexy strong legs haha. Gosh, I am nuts. After 15 minutes of chatting and giving me his number, he said he had to go as he had just dropped his son off at school (boarding school) and when I asked him which, I nearly fell off the chair as it was one of the most expensive high schools in the state. Driving off, I noticed he drove an Audi R8 and had a Patek Philippe watch. I was like interesting..
-Before leaving, he handed me an envelope and said it was a gift. After he left, I went to the bathroom, opened it and there was $1,000 in the envelope.
– My curiosity was piqued highly again as he refused to give me a last name.
– During our meeting he was blunt and stated he was talking to someone else and was ultimately going to settle on one. He asked if I’d sign an NDA, I refused and told him he can go with the other girl if he was more comfortable.
– But I told him also what I was going to do for him and to keep that when making the decision. I gave him my full name to run a background check if he wanted, told him where I lived, no kids, no drama, my own place where he can come and go as he wanted etc… I felt comfortable enough to give him all that info. although I only knew his first name.
Discovering who was
To be Cont’d. Have to go. But notice this. This guy broke all the rules of how /what a SD is suppose to do and behave. If I had dismissed him, I’d have missed out on a really good man that I have a deep connection with now. So please trust your instinct. I will update the rest when I have time.
Have to log off now and have a good weekend.
I’m hooked !
Your story is indeed that of a movie scenario, then again, I can easily pinpoint some interesting reverse psychology from your SD. Makes for a much substantial relationship, no ordinary person here please ! I really loved how you handle yourself, although mesmerized at first, you kept your cool. I gather that he’s a famous individual due to the NDA request he made, but by refusing, you might have strengthened his trust in you. Mind you, 2 weeks of back and forth messaging before the M & G is quite intense, yet I can understand. You probably asked a lot of questions in order to get him as much I you could. By the way, 2 months isn’t long in my point of view. With the competition out there, you did MORE than good, it’s Great!
Regarding the naked selfie pot SD, he’s already behind me, seriously, this isn’t what I’m looking for. As for the other man, he told me in his last message that, although he finds me hot, he wouldn’t want to be in a SR with me due to my age, but would like to hang out (under the bedsheets) and share some adult time. Really ! 😂 No johns for me thank you kindly!
Attracting the exact kind of SD is an amazing, see exhilarating, challenge. I’m very psyched about the chase.
Back to you, can’t wait to keep on reading. And I’m not giving you too much credits, you truly are smart, well prepared and obviously knowledgable in the art of approaching a gentleman. It shows by how you express yourself in your replies as well as in your personal story. Do you mind if I ask how old you are and how did you gain this experience regarding older and successful men?
I’m hooked and waiting for more!
Until next time
@seattleslew can you contact me my email is [email protected] I am new to this and you seem like idk like you could help me out pls
You said “Do you mind if I ask how old you are and how did you gain this experience regarding older and successful men?
I will be 33 later this year and I actually don’t think I have a lot of experience. I have had only two serious boyfriends (both lawyers who were a lot older and I learned a lot). First was out of college which lasted a few years and then the second one also lasted a few years. Both were very demanding hence the decision to be a SB. I am told I am an old soul as I have a lot more in common with people much older than me. So naturally, the decision to date them as I don’t think I will have the patience for younger ones. This is my first SD off SA and I approach it as how I approach anything in my life. I have to research, prepare, know the competition, use common sense etc… So I didn’t do anything differently. I think I just got lucky.
I also have lived in different countries also and now resides fully in the U.S since I was 18, so my behavior tends to be different from most people I am told. I think SDs particularly find it fascinating when they are used to things a certain way and you do it differently.
I don’t have an email now for privacy reasons and once I do, will let you know. If you have any questions, post here and I will respond.
P.S. I will finish shortly the original post.
Part 2. Discovering who he was;
He isn’t famous as you stated but well known in a different way. He is a CEO of a hedge fund that is a publicly traded company. For our second meet, I invited him to my place. I did that for two main reasons. First being, that I was real and wasn’t someone who was desperate for a quick buck. The second, I wanted a very private place where we’d talk and glean some info. as all I had was his first name.
And it was the right decision. He was more relaxed and talked a bit but not a lot. He is an intense quiet guy always listening which was makes him very difficult to read. He then said he still wouldn’t give me his last name but told me he is a finance guy and was up to me to figure it out. He also told me the truth about the town he lives in which is one of the most affluent with homes starting around the million number. So I intentioanlly asked him if he took the train every morning to work and he said no and that the “driver takes him”( His first giveaway). I then asked him what he cared the most about knowing he was pursuing a SR and needed to be extremely discreet. He answered and said his four boys and his employees. (Another giveaway). At this time;
-I had a first name
-Worked in Finance
-Had employees. It was enough for me to find him
The evening went well and we talked about expectations and exactly what he was looking for. He was very direct, intense and very refined in manners. After he left, I grabbed my laptop and started a search of people with his first name, worked in finance on wall st., lived in his town etc.. A bunch on names quickly came up and I clicked on Bloomberg. As I was looking at the profiles, one of them matched his exact age and his first name. It had the company name, company profile, employees etc. I took the profile and pulled up the company and there he was. Had a picture of him on the company site and all these other articles about him on google. I was like whattttttt….
I then went on digging through the SEC records since it is a publicly traded company to see what was there. Afterwards, I sent him a text and said I found you. And he responded, “ not bad for a serial killer right” with a wink emoji :)..
The rest is history and Intimacy
After the third meet, he told me he was going to pick me and that I did somethings he liked and was more attracted to me than the other girl. I asked if he slept with the other girl and he refused to answer (of course I knew he wasn’t going to tell) as I didn’t sign the NDA nor gave it up at this point. From the first M & G, there was an instant connection and it felt very comfortable where we didn’t have to pretend with each other. The hug he gave me stayed with me for a long time. It was like I was hugging a tall brick wall.
After a few months of intense kissing and cuddling, I felt I was ready for full intimacy even though I knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought based on the kissing and cuddling. And I was right. It was like running a marathon and mind blowing. Coming on SA, since intimacy was part of the equation, I said to myself my SD needed to have stamina to keep up with me.
Now it is the other way around-I need stamina. The first time, I literally had to run away from the bedroom(shameful admission) and was sooo sore afterwards, I thought maybe it was revenge for making him wait. He smiled, came to carry me back to the bed and we just cuddled. Then he said softly but in a firm voice, this is a warm up, so buckle up as it is going to get bumpy and get used to it. I was like holy sh** . I remember I was sooo tired the next day, I went to bed like 5pm and just stayed there.. I don’t know the words to describe it or what goes on even now. The kind that leaves you sore for days if not a week… Literally panting for air and hope you can walk properly afterwards .
He was honoring his part of the arrangement from day 1. Initially, he was giving $1,000 when he saw me every time. But once he decided he wanted to be exclusive with me, he asked me to tell him what I needed to be comfortable and not just limited to money. He asked me to make a list so I did. Now I refused to take the “pocket money” he calls it as he;
– Helps with my mortgage
– Pays for anything I need done on the house
– Pays for me to travel
– Always gets me a car service if I dont want to drive to NYC and pays for a hotel if I want to sleep over
– When in NYC, has a designated person at a shop I go for small shopping all charged to him/his account and many more.
All in all, a good man but a lion in bed.:)
I personally think I got lucky to find someone this patient, generous and understanding. So please don’t be frustrated by the process. Your SD is on there… Just have to keep at it.
Thank you so much for sharing this incredible adventure !! I realized that I might be mesmerized by you from your replies and now, from that story. Sorry for the overwhelming show of awe. This was a great read and very inspirational.
I shall continue to post here from time to time. Serves a purpose of reflecting on this experience and classifying the events as they unfold.
Hoping to read more savvy stories from members !
Have a great adventure with your SD! Wishing only the best for both of you !
Thank you for the advice. I’m actually not bad when it comes to double checking sources, but I definitely got paranoid. As you mentioned, a quick “whois” revealed that the website about those sex offenders is indeed bogus.
That was AMAZING to read! You really hit the jackpot it seems.
Also, hello from one former Seattle gal! I just moved away a few months ago. Still miss it some days.
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