I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I started messaging with a POT a few days ago. Everything was fine at first. He even brought up what my allowance desires were. He said that he liked that I was open about my sexuality. (I brought up in my profile that I was into BDSM) We make plans for a M&G. Then all of a sudden he starts asking me what I’m into. Fine, I’ve been asked that in regards to BDSM before. He asked to see a pic of an example. I send one that is pretty harmless. No nudity whatsoever/not sexually suggestive. Then he asks what do I like done to me and for a pic of myself on my knees. I tried to be firm but still personable. I said we can discuss what I like when we meet in person and that whatever he wants to see, if we have compatibility, he can see in person. He said fine.
The next day I try to text to let him know I was thinking of him. Then during the convo he asks to meet for drinks that day when we had already established a meet over coffee the next day. I politely declined. The next morning, the day of the M&G, we text. He asked me if I liked to be tied up and if I use toys. I said again that we can talk about it in person. He said he’s getting “excited”. Then he sends what I can best describe as a pornographic illustration and asks if we can go back to his place and do that. I don’t respond. He asks if he offended me. I tell him straight up that I don’t go home with anyone after a first meet, that I am a sex positive person but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be treated with respect. He apologizes, says he meant it as a “joke”, and asks if he should bother meeting me if he is “wasting” his time now. I’m annoyed but decide to go to the first meet because I didn’t have to go too far out of my way and I felt safe at that location because I know a lot of people in the area.
Shockingly the actual M&G goes well. I like our conversation. We talk about expectations and what would be mutually beneficial. He says and does nothing out of line. I feel much better, that I stood my ground and he respected it. We make loose plans for a first date a few days later.
I am barely in my car before he asks for more pictures. I told him I don’t send nudes. He says that he meant more examples of BDSM. Then asks if i was attracted to him, I said yes which was true. Then he goes on to ask what is my first fantasy “we get to do”. I’m bothered by this so I don’t respond. He texts me again the next morning as if nothing happened and is nice. Then later on that evening he asks if I’ll come over to play. I tell him no.
Tomorrow is supposed to be our first date but I don’t like how pushy he is being about intimacy, how much he tries to get me into “dirty” conversations even before we first met, how he consistently asks to meet up last minute outside the time we agreed upon. I’m considering backing out of our first date. After typing this all out, I think I have my answer, but I’d still like some advice please.
I would not continue seeing him. You have already told him how you felt, but he is still being pushy. That is one of the biggest turn offs. He clearly does not listen, which might cause even more problems if you decide to enter an arrangement with him.
He’s seeing you as an easy way out to live out his fantasies, like 99% of the males on Seeking.
Although I agree that a sugar relationship is accelerated compared to regular dating, there’s a limit where a woman has the right to feel safe before engaging into a very intimate relationship such as BDSM.
So far, all I get from the men I’ve met here is a definite desire for a prostitute. They believe that a SB is better than a prostitute because she shouldn’t have 100000 clients and has therefore kept a certain level of purity and innocence. However, by treating the SB as such, they are plainly demonstrating their lack of respect towards women and end up turning them into exactly what they supposedly abhor. The stupidity and craziness of these men will never cease to amaze me.
Men and women just don’t think alike. Having sex for most women, is not only about physical attirance even if she can have sex without being excited or turned on by her partner. At that exact moment however, she becomes a prostitute and needs to be paid !
If a man from Seeking wants more than just a prostitute, he’ll have to be either, patient, find that unicorn who falls genuinely and fast for an older man OR be a true gentleman as I believe that no intelligent woman can turn down a gentleman. That, so far, seems to represent 1% of the male population on Seeking. And sad truth is, out of that 1%, the active SDs on this forum are ALL matched up, lowering the number of legit SDs left on this marvelous website.
Worse truth, for me at least, is that, out of this 1%, including the active SDs on this forum, none of them live in my area 😂. Can’t even steal one from a fierce and competitive SB !
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