Home Sugar Support™ Forum Money Allowance and Commute

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by SFwinefan SFwinefan 6 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #103690
    Livvyluv
    Livvyluv
    Participant

    Hi all,
    I’m new to this but I’ve met up with a SD who is real sweet and seems genuinely interested in me doing well in my life. We’ve agreed to have an arrangement for $1000 a month with weekly meetings. I have to travel 2+ hours to him in Boston, however. I’m starting to get discouraged by the looming commute and am thinking I should ask for more to compensate travel time and such. But I really don’t know what others ask for in the area and I don’t want to come off as trying to get more money out of him. Any suggestions on whether I should ask for more or how to bring it up?
    Thanks!

    #103691
    SFwinefan
    SFwinefan
    Participant

    @livvyluv, your underlying question is one that only you can answer.

    The 4 to 5 hour round trip seems steep, and you need to decide if that is worth it for you. (If Boston is your only real option for being the bowl, it may be.) Unfortunately your post says you have agreed to an arrangement, so you risk him feeling like you are doing a bait and switch if you come back immediately to ask for more. That means I see two options for you … okay three.

    1) Go with things as defined now and put up with the commute.

    2) Be honest, tell him the time commitment for getting together is more extreme that you were initially thinking about. (Be warned, this option has a very high probability that he will end things).

    3) Continue with things as agreed to, and if things go well for three months or so, then raise the issue for a more significant gift based on the time needed for the commute.

    All of this assumes you go to him and he never takes the time to come to you.

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