Home Sugar Support™ Forum Advice Difficult time on SA and first date

This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Siegfried 2 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #108032

    SBinLondon
    Participant

    Hi Sugar babies!

    I just wanted some advice and to see what your experiences have been on Seeking Arrangement, apologies if my questions have already been covered.

    I’m based in London, not the youngest SB, I’m 31. I’m not sure if this information is relevant but it might be, I’m originally Middle Eastern and look distinctly so and I guess I’m not overly on trend with fashion more classic, my go to for a date would be a Black dress and stilettos. I’m into kink too but have decided against writing this in my profile in detail. I have been on SA for a while but decided to actively look this time. Anyway, most of the men who have messaged me have no photo or seem to have fake profiles, and on the search the same profiles come up again and again, is this your experience too? Are there any other sites you’d recommend or any key words or phrases you’d recommend that I use?

    It’d be great to be able to get into contact with other SBs in London. Is there a Kik group? If so I’d love it if I could join!

    So a couple of weeks ago I’d been messaging a guy for a while, we exchanged numbers, spoke on the phone and decided to meet for a drink. Well when I met him he looked nothing like his photos, I’d say about 20 years older than his photos he was definitely a dab hand at photoshop. Anyway I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and just at least see if I enjoy his company. After chatting for a while it was clear some of the things he said to me on the phone were lies and he’d forgotten what he said and all in all I didn’t feel comfortable and he was a bit creepy so I made my excuses politely and left. I then text him and thanked him for the drink so he didn’t think I was rude. I’ve been on many awkward dates but there was just something about him that didn’t feel right so I went with my intuition and gut instinct. Have you ladies ever been in a similar situation? How did you react?

    Do you have any advice for a newbie SB in my position? How many profiles/bad dates did it take for you to find your SD?

    Thanks so much in advance for any advice you may be able to give and sorry again if I’ve covered what has already been covered!

    xxx

    #108288

    teamswirl
    Participant

    So I am not sure how new you are, but having a new profile on SA will definitely attract fakes. It sucks, but the new girls are seen as easy prey. If you want to interact with real Daddies then your best bet is to reach out to the men that interest you and seem real.

    About your date with the liar, you did the right thing by leaving. I do think you shouldn’t have given him the time of day and left once you saw he didn’t match his pictures. The only situation I had remotely close to this is a gut who claimed to be 48, but was actually 58. He looked 48 and didn’t doctor his photos though. He was a waste of time, but I learned a few lessons from that situation.
    Finding the right SD takes time, a few months to years. If you are having trouble finding someone online, you could always try freestyling. That’s pretty much the best option besides SA because most sites suck. There was a thread on here last year giving freestyling advice. I can’t remember who wrote it, but there doesn’t look like there have been many posts in my absence , so it shouldn’t be too hard to find.

    If you would like to connect with other Londoners, there is a “Connect” forum right below this one.

    Good luck and welcome to the Bowl!

    #108293
    Inamorato
    Inamorato
    Participant

    Some ‘lies’ are forgivable. I don’t care if she’s 39, but claims to be 29 on her profile, as long as she looks the same as her recent photos when we meet. But, if I arrived at a M&G and my date looked nothing like her photos, I’d make a quick exit. I’d suggest all SBs do the same ( whilst understanding that women often need to be more subtle about offending ). If he’s just playing with his age on his SA profile to get through the search filters, that’s one thing. But looking nothing like the photos he’s sent you is just trying to take you for a fool. If you continue with him, it won’t be the last time.

    But, honesty is a strange thing. For me, it’s perhaps more important in a sugar relationship than vanilla. If I ask a direct question, I expect an honest answer. Whilst understanding that if it’s something she doesn’t want to answer she can politely deflect. We quickly get to learn each others privacy boundaries. If it’s important to you whether he’s married, you should ask and expect an honest answer. If it’s not important, there’s no need to ask.

    #108294

    teamswirl
    Participant

    This may not be the case for most people, but in my personal experience when a man starts off with one lie or trying to hide one thing, I usually find out there are other lies or more things he is trying to hide. I would rather him be honest from the start. This is going to sound a bit cliche, but if you have to lie to attract someone, maybe that person isn’t right for you. I wouldn’t want someone I have to lie to about certain things. I have done that before and it just didn’t feel right. I thought the guy was very attractive and I don’t mind dating someone over 55 as long as he looks good for his age. However, this guy lied from the get go and, among other things, continued to lie.

    #108300
    Inamorato
    Inamorato
    Participant

    Well, I think we’re agreeing on this. If his profile says 48, but the photos are recent and accurate and when you ask him directly he says he’s 58, is that still a problem? Or did he continue to claim to be 48 even when you ‘found him out’?

    The vast majority of SB profiles list a status of ‘single’. Many, are not strictly single – they have partners, boyfriends or other long term SDs. I’ll accept that as part of the game to get to the M&G. I don’t need to know everything about her private life. I do need to know what kind of schedule she has, whether she’s free to stay overnight, weekends away. Whether an angry boyfriend is going to show up at more door. I’ll ask my questions so she doesn’t have to be dishonest with me. If you start into a SR, obviously you’ll find out more about each other as you build up some trust. From my side, I’ve never had a particular need not be honest with any SB I’ve had a relationship with. It’s much easier that way.

    #108310

    teamswirl
    Participant

    To answer your question, I never asked about his age. Eighteen year old me assumed that if someone says they are a certain age, then they are telling the truth. He came out and told me. It was something that I considered not seeing him anymore because he lied, but I thought he might still be a stand up guy. He wasn’t. I could have prevented having my time wasted if I didn’t ignore the first red flag.

    #108312

    Siegfried
    Participant

    @sbinlondon – I would say follow your instincts. If you feel in your gut that there is something fishy, there probably is something fishy. Don’t override it would be my advice.

    Now about ages in profiles, I have found every SB POT I have spoken with/met lied about their age by 4-5 years. I don’t consider that unusual. However if I find any other lies I will also run away!

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.