HI there! I’m fairly new to the SD/SB dynamic with some informal experience. I was wondering if most of you SB’s use condoms? or if you require some type of testing before doing the deed.
I like one man at a time and not the juggling type. Even with protection, I politely asked my SD for a test because that is what made me comfortable. So it is up to you and do not be afraid to ask if that is what makes you comfortable.
I treat it no differently as a hookup vs. BFGF type situation. And for me, condoms do the trick. If I met a SD that was juggling multiple SBs before and wanted to become exclusive with me (go without condoms), I would probably ask for a check up.
But I agree with the previous post, and the idealistic way is to tread carefully, get checked.
I don’t have much experience with the whole SB SD relationships, but I am a medical professional so I can let you know that testing is always a good idea but 80% of people have herpes 1 and about 40% of people have herpes 2 and that is something that cannot be tested for unless they’re in an active outbreak. Herpes 1 can be in the genital area and also on the mouth herpes 2 is only in the genital area. Herpes 1 is it easiest thing to spread both ways. Just a little info.
I personally never have sex without condoms. I have an INTENSE untrusting issue when it comes to sexual partners. Being a strong believer that monogamous relationships just don’t exist, I never take for granted that my partner only has sex with me. No matter how long I’d be with him.
Testing can be fine, but quite useless based on my opinion I just expressed. It takes time for some disease to actually pop out ! “Shivers”
If he wants me to get tested, no problem, and I’ll tell him my view on the matter. He’ll say “Girl, you have issues!” and I’ll say “Boy, get your head out of your ass”. Ghetto style? Indeed, but still true !
No condoms, no deed! (and that includes blowjob) Although, I become more flexible in regards to blowjobs after some time… some some time!
If a new SD doesn’t want to use condoms then typically I’ll get him to go get tested.
In my experience it usually tends to be that the younger guys (less than 25-30?) are fine with using condoms, its just some of the older guys (30+?) who don’t like using condoms.
I get tested every three months mainly just for my own peace of mind as I’m usually sleeping with a few SD’s most months. With most SD’s I don’t bother with condoms for blowjobs but I’m selective of SD’s who don’t want to use condoms for vaginal sex.
So yes, get him tested and obviously make sure you’re on birth control if he’s not using condoms.
I used condoms with my SB the first couple times to not have to bring it up or worry about it. After a couple visits and feeling a good level of trust and that we’d have an ongoing arrangement I asked if she was clean and down for going bare and she was, we’ve had many bare sessions since without any issues and we both love it, it can make the connection stronger and it’s fun to jump right into it. So for me I go off of how much trust and mutual respect we have, how honest and open the communication is, obviously getting a good look at each others privates to make sure they appear clean. I go off of personality and lifestyle too, I think that people who act shady, are not straightforward, or engage in hardcore drug use are not to be trusted.
If you’re worried I’d say to ask him to get tested, if he refuses then don’t allow it. A reasonable guy will work with you if he’s clean and desires to go bare, or will settle for condoms without complaining.
Regardless, you should get on birth control immediately (Shocking how many sexually active women who don’t want babies and are open to bare sex aren’t on birth control), don’t wait until you’re knocked up and wishing you got on birth control before.
Are blowjobs different in terms of sex as far as why you use no condom is it lower risk?
Yes, I require all partners to get tested if we want a long-term arrangement. If they are hesitate or unwilling, then I’m out. I’m with @afuryforluxury, because especially in the Sugar Bowl, who knows what’s going on. Frankly, I make a point of saying that condoms are for everything, and then at 6 mo we can get rid of them for a blowjob, but still necessary for any vaginal/anal.
Get tested at least once a year. You never know who’s banging whom. I get tested and will pay for all of my long term SBs to be tested. Also ALWAYS use a condom unless you’re trying to start a family.
A buddy of mine caught gonorrhea despite always using a condom for intercourse. He either caught it from oral sex or a leak around the condom.
Tips for condom use for older guys:
Put it on as soon as he’s hard. If you put it on after a lot of play, the contrast in feeling is striking and erection-killing. Put it on early and you can pretty much forget it’s there. Also make sure you’re very light in touch during foreplay or any manual stimulation. Boner pills obviously help too. Also consider different fits. A flared and lubricated condom is my favorite because the material moves around and feels like skin. I completely forget I have one on. Tight condoms have less sensation, but the pressure can act a bit like a cock ring to keep it up, so some guys may prefer that.
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