So I’m new to this, but have been on roughly 6 POT M&G’s now, and had the most awkward one ever last night. I’ve been pouring through the blogs to educate myself and haven’t seen this topic mentioned, so here goes-
Last week I got a message from a POT that he was interested and wanted to meet for a drink/coffee, whichever I preferred. He had one photo in his profile, and I Google Reverse Searched the image which pulled up instantly a very successful, GORGEOUS, and well known Olympian that doesn’t live in Austin (where I am), is married with 4 kids, and doesn’t seem to travel here. Like ever. The profile description didn’t match who the photo is, so I knew going into it that either a)The photo was real and the profile was fake, or b) the photo was fake and the profile was real. I agreed to go because it was just for a drink, I was curious, and I wanted to have an open mind.
I showed up and this guy looked NOTHING like his photo- short and overweight like he had never eaten a carrot. I gave it a chance anyway and didn’t let myself seem fazed. After an hour it was clear that there was no chemistry, and he asked me for my honest opinion. At that point I admitted that I knew the photo was fake, knew who the photo really was, and told him that if he’s not comfortable putting any real photos up that he should just not put any photos up instead of a fake, because it starts the relationship off with a lie and distrust. He proceeded to get upset (can’t blame him there), and told me that I had no business being on SA and that I was ‘too smart’ to be a Sugar Baby (wtf?!). He told me that had we gone his usual route of a luxury dinner that the evening would have been much more successful like his previous dates (which honestly, if they were actually successful I don’t see why he’d still be searching for an SB), to which I replied that if he’s only having “success” when he blows a ton of money on a first meet that those SB’s are only interested in him for his money and not who he is.
Am I wrong here? Is this out of the ordinary, or normal?
He was in the wrong here not you. I understand when a SD puts up a photo that isn’t him. I don’t agree, but I understand why. However it should be rather close. If a SD is worried you won’t go on a M&G unless he looks like an Olympian, then he’s either batting way out of his league even for the Bowl or is new and doesn’t understand the Bowl. You seemed to handle this very well. If a “SD” has to brag about his past SRs then he’s a failure as a SD.
I think you were remarkably nice and handled the situation better than 90% of Sugar Babies would have!
Thank you for the feedback Ambrose and Brook! This guy’s only resemblance to the photo provided was his eye color and race. So lovely… I honestly would’ve preferred the photo to be real and the profile fake, because I understand trying to cultivate a different persona from your normal/public life.
Sidenote- I LOVE reading your blogs and your responses. Y’all are both so informative and helpful!
You didn’t handle it badly but next time I wouldn’t meet a guy without a photo that you can somehow verify, even if it’s him holding up a piece of paper with your profile name on it. Be sure you’re meeting the person you think you’re meeting.
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