OK so i haven’t been on the site for long and quite frankly meeting someone scares me. Cause it seem like most men on that site are looking for an escort. So im confused, am i missing something here?
There is one difference between the two. Escorting is basically one offs. One intimate date and that’s it. SR, should, be more about the relationship part. where two people come together and enjoy spending time together. There are both escorts and Johns on SA. And with the closure of Backpage in the US, there will be more.
Understand, that without the quicker access to sex there would be no SRs. That is one of, if not the, main selling point for SDs.
@purpledaze I agree with Ambrose. Yes, there may be individuals on the site that use sites as a hunting ground, however that is NOT what it is for or about. You don’t find the dream SD overnight. It takes persistence and patience. You’re gonna have to weed through the salt daddies and scammers, but trust it will be worth it in the end
To me once you have to have sex with someone in order to be rewarded with gifts and money, its like a different level of prostitution or escorting, its like selling sex. If you dont have sex with them and accompany them whenever they like, I dont see it as prostituting or escorting. That’s how I personally see it, because at the end of the day some of married ones sometimes leave you for life with their family (because are you worth that lost , NO), some of the others sometimes see you as a gold digger and might leave you when they found someone who is actually worth their gifts and money (are you worth the person they truly love, No!) and maybe if you’re LUCKY you might get into a SERIOUS relationship with then.
I agree. it does feel similar to escorting. But due to some technicalities, this isn’t? ;;
whatever helps u sleep at night 😀
To quote someone, “An Escort is someone who I pay to leave. A SB is someone who I want to keep around.”
You can use whatever verbiage you like to define the SD / SB arrangements but probably 95% of the time it is a man paying for sex, directly or indirectly. Quid pro quo. Society has made it that way. Isn’t it the same in the dating/gf-bf world? Guy pays for dinner, buys girl gifts etc. Isn’t he essentially paying for sex?
It doesn’t necessarily have to be that way.
I treat SA as a NICHE DATING site, as it should be treated. Yes sugaring has some aspect of sex work to it (having “sugar” responsibilities like comforting your SD, being a good hostess, impressing his company with your acting skills, flirting with him, and making sure he’s feeling great emotionally… like what some strippers, escorts, hired female company do). Just be careful not let the SDs put the emphasis on P4P.
That’s not what you’re here for!!!
I have no problems weeding out the men who ask specifically “can we have sex” or “I want to see you for an hour of sex for 200.” They are not MY SDs because my usual/ideal SD is respectful and discreet enough to know that these words are a turn off!
Have a mature conversation about your sugaring and relationship experiences, ask about hobbies, favorites, and personality questions… get to know each other first before going into sexual preferences (JUST LIKE ON A NORMAL DATING SITE). The only difference between SA and the other sites is that you and your SD come to a prearranged agreement tailored to both of your busy lifestyles. And the agreement doesn’t have to be all about SEX!
The sex should be a perk, if it happens between two people who have that sort of chemistry. For legit arrangements (or any kind of relationship or agreement) to work, there has to be chemistry – you two operate like clockwork, you compliment each other, you both are able to fulfil each others needs, you two should have noncompeting goals in mind. The point, you two should like each other enough for sex to become a possibility if that’s what you’re open to/ an outlet you’re seeking.
If an SB is looking for mentorship, friendship and maybe frequent sex, but the POT SD is looking for someone to relieve his “itch” and nothing else, there might be a problem.
So… if it takes months of weeding out tens of “hooker/john” messages to find your proper SD, that’s what it takes!
P.S., escorting on SA wouldn’t be rewarding if all it is to the Johns is a bargaining platform for clueless babes!
^Sex as ATTRACTION based on and not on some guy’s hopes to eventually get in a girl’s pants.
Yeah, sex is great! I’m amazing at it *cough,* but I only think about having sex with older SDs because they are able to tickle me in many ways (intelligence, intellectual curiosity, appreciation of finer things, having deep questions about human nature and the world, being keenly aware of what’s going on in other people’s heads, being kinky, knowing how to please me in bed, playing with my fetishes, and being able to connect with a younger person through their extensive life experience). I don’t have sex with anyone find repulsive, just to have sexual gratification.
Recreational and emotionally unattached sex is great, too, but I tend to be very distant and disrespectful to those kind of guys. They don’t see me as gold, or even human for that matter. I wouldn’t have this person as a friend, much less as an SD!
Look into the role of courtesans in the 14th through 18th centuries–I think that’s the closest role to sugaring in Western history, and they were treated more like reality TV stars than pariahs. Most female intellectuals (apart from nuns who had time to study because they weren’t under pressure to marry) were sophisticated and reputable “kept women.” Upper class marriages were rarely based on love and a couple was lucky to be compatible. To fill in the need for intelligent conversation, physical desires, and emotional pampering, both married and unmarried men would often turn to courtesans.
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