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This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by -nikki -nikki 8 months ago.

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  • #13647
    VioletGrace_
    VioletGrace_
    Participant

    I’m interested in finding a younger SD under the age of 45 with mutual connection & attraction. someone who is looking to marry & possibly have a few kids down the road. someone who’s truly successful, loyal & fun… will spoil me and travel the world with me. will push me to be a better person & want me to be successful as well…

    any thoughts? any advice? anyone know how to properly point me in the right direction?

    i live in the south new jersey area – near philly. willing to move for the right guy.

    hoping to find a hopeless romantic, down to earth, loyal/committed & genuine guy.

    i just don’t know where or how to start my successful search.

    #13777
    Brook
    Brook
    Keymaster

    Thanks for reaching out! You should mention all of that in your profile, and be clear about it when you talk about what you’re looking for. YES, this is possible. BUT, you must remember that the majority of people do not come to SA for a traditional relationship. You are going to get some people telling you that Match.com is more suited for you. My advice would be to be open to different types of relationships. Many SDs say they’re “open to something more if things work out” but explaining that you want to have kids with him in the future is a sure fired way to mess that up. Something like “I’m open to trying out a relationship and dating first, but ultimately I do want long term.”

    #13870

    Asheal88
    Participant

    Hey there, I was just about to make an introductory post but you kinda hit home so I will simply answer here.

    I am a 32 YO business owner who has tried the normal dating scene for years and simply HATE it. I am a fit and a very attractive man and have heard from a lot of people “why the F are you even on this site”? Lastly I, like you, am definitely a “hopeless romantic”.

    I am on the site because all of my friends are married, I don’t enjoy going to bars and clubs anymore and finally the Bumble/Tinder’s of the world are almost as bad as a bar. I don’t do social media and dont have the “good pictures” that some of the successful dating app guys have and feel at a disadvantage there. I am very confident in my ability to speak to a woman and have always seen getting to the first date as the hardest part. SA was a perfect way for me to slip by that problem and I did it for basically the same reason you seem to be.

    I put myself on SA and basically saw it as another dating app where I would check in and hopefully meet a girl I actually wanted to be with. I spoil the crap out of any girl I normally date so the “sugar” seemed standard to me anyways.

    My advice would to be honest and patient and DON’T FALL TOO QUICKLY.

    I took somewhere around 20 women on first dates (and a few on multiple dates) but always made it very clear what I was looking for. I want to DATE you, “this could and hopefully will go somewhere else in the future and could easily end up in marriage.”

    I would say 70-80% of the women are basically escorts looking for regular paid sex. I have NOTHING against that, it simply wasn’t what I wanted. But do remember that when you are speaking to men that is the common “woman type” on SA,so act accordingly to what you want.

    Other women want to date you but will not allow themselves to turn it into something serious. My personal opinion on this is because they dont want to be 50 and look back on their own relationship starting this way, which is ridiculous IMO but that is another topic….

    The biggest advice I have though is “to mean it”. I basically have had 3 “relationships” if you will. The first I got burned badly by a “rinser”, gave her $3k and after the second date (got her a spa day at the Ritz Carlton where I had a room. This was while I was at a wedding, then when I came back and she had left….), she gave me a REALLY bad taste for the “sugar bowl” and almost got me to delete my profile.

    Second one I dated regularly, I thought was it, our first date she seemed really excited and all was well. As we went on she seemed more distant, wouldn’t open mouth kiss me and then during sex would barely even look me in the eyes. I am around 7% body fat so I know I am not terrible to look at, so this told me she was emotionally unavailable or perhaps dating other people or SD’s. Either way, not what I want. Point being, us successful guys can read body language as well as anyone, we can tell what you want.

    I have since been dating a girl I met off SA for a few months and we have hit it off perfectly. Our politics align, our education, social etiquette, everything. And the sex….dear god, we both have laughed that we have never had it better. Sorry for the tangent, as I said this was a little bit of an introductory post as well, but point being, we often talk about the future and what we want and it is obvious that this will be a long term thing for both of us.

    My biggest advice is again to be open, honest and patient. Unfortunately I have a feeling it may be harder for you tell if a guy is lying about what he wants more than a woman, but that could be completely incorrect and just my personal experience as a man coming out.

    Our first date was a nice dinner, coffee the next morning, then we immediately did a weekend getaway. We literally text back and forth a dozen times or so a day, it feels ZERO different from any of my past relationships. I do however think you will be able to tell right away, we actually never talked about money …. ever.

    I always kept $500 with me just in case one of my dates went well, so after our first date I slipped it in her car door as I kissed her goodnight. I think that a guy who is really into you the way you are looking for will do something like this, maybe I am wrong.

    This one is personal just because it happened for me. But if you get to this point I would recommend telling him you “dont want the cash anymore”, as much as I hate to say it, as a test. I know there are a lot of people here who will disagree, but for those of us looking for actual relationships it was very telling, at least for me.

    We went a month or so without any “sugar” other than the typical gf/bf stuff and travel, until one day I walked into her house and she was arguing over a bill. I felt like a schmuck and immediately started slipping in a few hundred dollars every other day in her purse. If he feels the same way about you, he will do the same.

    I WANT to take care of her and WANT her to have a great life, hopefully with me in the end.

    TLDR, they/we are out there and they are doing it because they dont want to take the time and effort of other dating apps. BUT BE BLATANTLY HONEST that you are hoping that your relationship will blossom into something more real than the typical SG/SD relationship.

    #14165

    vegassd
    Participant

    That’s amazing that you’ve found someone like that, good for you. I’m actually looking for the same but it seems like every girl I’ve told that doesn’t respond to me, I’ve had much more success not bringing it up when we first start talking. any advice?

    • This reply was modified 10 months, 4 weeks ago by  vegassd.
    #14232

    Asheal88
    Participant

    I just told every girl I took out for a M&G that I was a romantic and my perfect end to a SR would be the Pretty Woman fall in love yada yada yada….

    Many were turned off by this fact, but just be honest up front.

    #14623
    Trina
    Trina
    Keymaster

    @VioletGrace_ IMO, you might have to kiss a few frogs before you find your price, you know? Sounds like @Asheal88 has experienced this. Be patient, keep your eye on the goal, and don’t be afraid to be honest. Good luck!

    #14624
    Trina
    Trina
    Keymaster

    @VioletGrace_ IMO, you might have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, you know? Sounds like @Asheal88 has experienced this. Be patient, keep your eye on the goal, and don’t be afraid to be honest. Good luck!

    #14625
    Trina
    Trina
    Keymaster

    @VioletGrace_ IMO, you might have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, you know? Sounds like @Asheal88 has experienced this. Be patient, keep your eye on the goal, and don’t be afraid to be honest. Good luck!

    #19999
    -nikki
    -nikki
    Participant

    @asheal88 your personal experience is amazing ! I have a man that I’m really into and while I don’t expect the things you do for your lady, it would be nice to have some help (as he is established and I’m about to graduate and rack up bills) . How can I hint at or being up this topic without sounding like I’m wanting to use him?

    -Nikki

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