Home Sugar Support™ Forum Relationships First real potential SD?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by SouthernSD SouthernSD 3 weeks, 3 days ago.

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  • #27242
    Babelarc
    Babelarc
    Participant

    I live in a somewhat-small university town. Most men who message me on SA would ask for me to meet them in their car at a park at night and give me $100/meeting. I always said no.
    A nice, attractive older man messaged me and he was friendly and complimented me. We talked a bit and agreed to meet for coffee.
    We talked and flirted and discussed his previous SB arrangements. Anyway, when we were leaving he asked if he could do anything for me, and gave me $100 to go shopping.
    Since then we have met for lunch, and plenty more flirting. We’ve discussed that I may come over sometime next week.

    But regarding the sugar part, he’s generally told me that I should ask for things I want and if he can do it, he will.
    While I’m not sure I have an issue with this, should I be expecting something more clear?

    #27247
    sf_flowerchild
    sf_flowerchild
    Participant

    If you don’t have an issue with it then you should continue. It sounds like this sugar relationship is going more the spoiled girlfriend route which is still a sugaring (though some may disagree) but a bit more vanilla than the other types of sugar relationships. However, you can also try and change this current relationship to an allowance based relationship by asking him if that is something he is willing to do. I personally prefer allowance based relationships as they are more clear about expectations. I’m not the type that’s impressed with shopping sprees and more so prefer money for my tuition or so I can work my real job less and pay my rent. Having an allowance also helps establish in clear terms how much you expect to receive from him and how the rest of the relationship will flow.
    But also take into consideration that it may be something he isn’t into or can’t afford and then you’ll have to decided if you want to continue that relationship with him or not.

    #27255
    DavidSD
    DavidSD
    Participant

    First of all, holy hell, guys are messaging girls on SA asking to meet in a car in a parking lot?!?

    I feel like I should apologize for all men that you have to put up with that. That sucks.

    You don’t have to rock the boat if you are cool with it. But I like to be clear and direct. So I would recommend telling him, “I like you and I would like to start an arrangement with you that is more structured, so I know what to expect and neither of us needs to worry about finances and we can focus on enjoying each other.”

    If he pushes back you can tell him that you don’t like asking for favors because you feel bad doing that and this shouldn’t be about favors, it’s an equal relationship that you both benefit from.

    #105554

    1Spoilme84
    Participant

    I’m so glad someone asked this because I’m a very new sugar baby and kinda shy when it comes to the whole arrangement things and what do I want. I have also mostly ran into SD wanting to…. I’m lost for words hope this isn’t against the rules but pay as they go type deals and it’s not a very generous amount either. Or I have been told allowances are hard because we can’t guarantee how many times we will meet a month. I’m a little disappointed in the SD that I have had communication with honestly.

    #105557
    SouthernSD
    SouthernSD
    Participant

    @1spoileme84 That’s because you have not spoke to any legit SD. You’re chatting with guys looking for hook ups.

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