Home Sugar Support™ Forum Advice Going back on arrangement and no call back after first time being intimate.

This topic contains 32 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by ThatOtherCharmingWit ThatOtherCharmingWit 3 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)
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  • #38536

    kidinmn
    Participant

    The SDs say that they want a relationship and don’t want to feel like an ATM. Yet, a couple of them, after making an arrangement, invited me over to their place and instead of going out to dinner or hanging out, they just wanted sex. After having sex with me for the first time they gave me my gift, then they never called again and they went back on their agreement.

    #38537
    TeamSwirl
    TeamSwirl
    Participant

    Those don’t sound like real SDs to me. Before any intimacy takes place it is a good idea to make sure you have your allowance in hand. If these were first meets, then sex should not have happened. These guys never had any intentions of starting an arrangement with you. They were just in it for sex. That’s how some guys on SA are. You have to weed out the ones like that. I scrutinize every message and if red flags go up, such as being too sexual before meeting, I will block them.

    If you don’t mind me asking, what were your conversations with them like before you met?

    #38538

    kidinmn
    Participant

    They’ll talk about the same thing. How they want a connection and someone they can spend time with once or twice per wee. I never discuss anything intimate in the first meeting.

    #38541

    kidinmn
    Participant

    I would never have sex on a first meeting. They say they want companionship but they all just seem to really want sex in the end. It seems like it’s impossible to find a real SD on the SA website and it’s incredibly frustrating and disappointing.

    #38542
    TeamSwirl
    TeamSwirl
    Participant

    How long have you been on SA?

    #38544

    kidinmn
    Participant

    A few weeks. I’ve met quite a few SDs and have weeded out many that I’ve messaged but all seem to be fake SDs.

    #38549

    @kidinmn You’re still weeding through the chaff. Those first couple of weeks are all about scammers and salt daddies. Take the time to read through the forum posts to get a better feel for life in the bowl, there is a massive amount of information hiding in threads you wouldn’t expect to have anything interesting in them, you just have to read them all the way through.
    Your posts come off as impatient and impulsive, two things in combination that will make your search and your time in the bowl frustrating and unfulfilling. The search takes time, as does getting up to speed on what it takes to be a SB. Slow it down, be deliberate and focus on the kind of relationship that will be fulfilling to both you and your SD.

    #38550
    TeamSwirl
    TeamSwirl
    Participant
    #38554

    kidinmn
    Participant

    I know I’m impatient. I’m a very driven and ambitious person and everything I do I try to put in 100%. It just feels like I’m running out of SDs to weed out on the SA website where I live.

    #38555
    TeamSwirl
    TeamSwirl
    Participant

    @kidinmn I completely understand. I still feel that way sometimes. Anytime I feel like I am not getting the results I want I delete my profile and make one that’s better. I revamp my About Me, What I’m Looking For, and change some or all of my pics. I start to see guys who had previously rejected me start to message me once I make my profile better. This takes a lot of trial and error. Like you, I am also impatient. I learned that I have to be patient in the Bowl because being impatient has caused me to have bad experiences.

    #38562
    Inamorato
    Inamorato
    Participant

    If I guy invites you back to his place, he wants sex. If you’re not at the same point, don’t agree to meet at or go back to his place. Meet up at the restaurant, or wherever he suggested hanging out. It gives you the option of slowing things down to a pace you’re comfortable with. You’re under no obligation to go home with him that night. But if you’d like to progress the arrangement, and the allowance has been agreed, you can take things from there. Ideally you’d receive any gifts before intimacy takes place – it sounds like you’ve at least been lucky in that regard.

    #38563
    SouthernSD
    SouthernSD
    Participant

    @kidimn. You can’t weed them all out, many legit SD have their profiles hidden and they do searching on their terms. That’s why it’s very important to have an A game profile. Also, the first few weeks is when all the salt, scammers and Splenda come out of the wood work. The legit SD wait about 2 weeks before contacting SB they are interested in, they wait for all the fodder to die down. It can take weeks, months of longe to find that right SD.

    #38578

    kidinmn
    Participant

    Thank you for your feedback. It feels like I’m in a salt mine. Patience is a virtue.

    #38634

    WeedyWeedWeed
    Participant

    You guys are being way too dogmatic about this. It’s not as simple as real or fake sugar daddy and it is NOT easy to find an arrangement. More than 90% of the women I meet from SA end up being one-offs. I’ve only had 3 go on allowance for anywhere between 1000-5000 a month. These women have had the following in common:

    1) They are gorgeous to me. I never need little blue pills to feel aroused several times a night.
    2) The sex is amazing. One girl would orgasm 3-5 times every time we got intimate. The other two orgasm nonstop. I’m talking like 20 times in an hour, sheets soaked, no joke. We also always orgasmed at the same time. The connection was THAT good and it was that great pretty much right off the bat. In my current sugar baby’s case, the sex seems to keep getting better even after 7 months and she’s even gotten me to be multiorgasmic a couple of times.
    3). They all went from public meet and greet straight to hotel sex. Well, two did. The other made out with me in the parking lot, but I had other plans that day.
    4). They never discussed money before meeting in person. Two mentioned money right before going to the hotel room. The other just took what I gave her afterwards and was very happy. None ever mentioned a formal allowance or a fixed per meet gift. Even later, if they needed books I might help them with that. If they needed their car fixed, I’d help with that, etc.
    5). It’s clear they actually wanted to be with me. I get as many booty calls from them as the other way around and these were not just based on a need for funds. My current SB and I text constantly and are best friends.

    So how often do you think all of the above happens with a potential sugar baby? What are the odds she’s not attractive or I’m not attractive, or she treats me like an ATM so I treat her like a prostitute? What are the odds the sex is just okay and I might as well try for something better?

    An arrangement to me, is like any other relationship, and often just as difficult to find. You really just gotta be yourself and try to connect with potential sugar daddies. If the connection is there, the big sugar will follow. Of course, make sure he actually has money on the meet and greet.

    #38635

    kidinmn
    Participant

    How then are you supposed to find out if a potential SD has money if you don’t talk about it on the first date? By the way, I never bring up allowance first. I let him bring it up. If they make an arrangement with me then I meet them and they treat me like a booty call and then don’t call again, how am I treating them like an ATM? You’re giving $1,000/month for you muktiorgasmic booty calls? Sex workers charge $500-1,000/hour for a booty call and it seems that’s how you treat the women you’re seeing. Maybe not but that’s how it comes across in your post.

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