Home Sugar Support™ Forum Advice Had a Great Connection

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by SouthernSD SouthernSD 11 months, 1 week ago.

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    Hi all,

    I recently had the most amazing connection with a POT. We texted for a week, talked on the phone and then did a meet and greet. Our schedules conflicted yet we made time for one another. The date was amazing. We really clicked. I got a really great understanding of what his motives were and I was very open with mine. He kissed me in the vestibule as we walked out of the restaurant and it was great. While we were waiting for the taxi, he told me that he wanted an arrangement with me and only me. That I was exactly what he was looking for. I told him that I felt the same. We talked about it more in the car however he never mentioned the allowance. I told him to give me a few days to think about it. The next day he texted me in the morning and reiterated what he mentioned on the way out of our date. I knew that I wanted him to be my SD so I told him that I felt the same and that the chemistry and attraction was undeniable. Then I decided to ask about the allowance. I told him that if we were to continue on organically, we should get it out of the way and told him the allowance that I was seeking. He told me that I was a touch negotiator and that I should meet with him in person again to discuss the monetary part. I basically repeated, verbatim, what my motives were in doing this and he still would not come to terms with me. At the very end of the conversation he said let’s just have lunch, that he was certain it would be amazing and that it would be time well spent. I said that I 100% wanted to see him again, but would rather get this out of the way so that we could enjoy each other on the next date rather than negotiate. He never responded and immediately his profile was gone. Immediately after the conversation, I felt like I should just get back in the saddle. If he was not willing to give me what I was asking than it was not the right fit. After a week of setting up new dates and speaking with new POTs, I am extremely bummed. I wish it would have worked out and as a result am not feeling as connected with other POTs. I asked for a per date allowance at $500 which I would have been willing to negotiate. My question to all of you amazing sugar bebes: should I contact him despite him cold shouldering me after the allowance conversation? Or do I just keep on trucking a wait for his image to become obsolete in my rear-view mirror?

    • This topic was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  Biochem_magic.

    Honestly, it sounds like he was trying to string you along for the free dates without ever offering an allowance. Some people prefer to discuss allowances in person, but if he wasn’t respecting your quite reasonable wish to talk about it, and blocked you in response, he’s not the one for you. Don’t go begging for his attention.


    I second @inamorato. If he was so very interested in moving forward with an arrangement, he would have met you at least half way in the allowance conversation. I’m always wary of the really charming SDs, it’s like the charm is some kind of survival trait that covers up a lack of character. Ironic considering my chosen screen name.


    I agree with the 2 above, here is your flag, when he said:
    “let’s just have lunch, that he was certain it would be amazing and that it would be time well spent. ”
    That was your que that he was going to just charm you and hopefully you would enjoy his company so much that you would just want to continue.
    What he should have said, “let’s have lunch and we will work out an arrangement that will suit us both. I am fond of you and want this to work.”
    But that didn’t happen, as soon as he blocked you that was a absolutel true indication of his intents.

    • This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by SouthernSD SouthernSD.
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