Hey babes. Some advice please? Two days ago someone messaged me on the site and he seemed quite real to me. We chatted and sent video/voice messages all through-out the day and everything was perfect. He’s respectful, complimenting, and didn’t mention anything in terms of wanting “sugar”, which is very unusual.
After finding out that he lost his fiance in a car accident a few years ago and yearning for new love, it quickly became clear to me that he wasn’t looking for a Sugar Arrangement at all, but more for a (Sugar) Relationship, so I – pretty straight forward – asked him why he registered on SA instead of a traditional dating site then. His answer was a bit strange and came down to “all women on those sites use me for my money, and there’s no feeling attached to it”. I thought about that for a while… but it doesn’t make any sense. On normal dating sites – unlike SA – one doesn’t have to state his income or anything so in my eyes, a normal dating site would less likely result into (for him) undesirable encounters vs SA; If you don’t want to be “used” for your money, then SA is absolutely, inevitably, undoubtedly the site you should want to avoid as wealthy individual, yet he registered on SA.
Sorry for the side-track. Anyway, at the end of the day, he was convinced he found his soul-mate, fell in love with me and wants to share life with me. He told his parents and friends about me and wants us to meet as soon as possible (has already invited me to fly to his location). He promised he’d take care of me completely, if I were to be his.
I know he’s lonely and wants company, but to fall in love within a day, is that even possible? To tell his friends and family? What? Maybe I’m too cautious/over-reacting because he does seem particularly serious (already wants to send me a copy of his ID and whatnot) but still… I can’t help but be suspicious. What do you think?
Run away, do not walk, RUN!
That is not normal or reasonable behaviour, it screams clingy. You two haven’t even had a M&G.
I agree with you that if he doesn’t want women to like him for his money SA is the worst place for him.
There are two possibilities here.
1. It’s a scam, he isn’t who he says he is and never plans on giving you any money. If this is the case you will soon get a request from him asking for your bank account info (presumably so he can transfer some money to you). It’s a trap. I would say there is about a 95% chance this is the case.
2. The guy needs some counseling. He has issues he is dealing with, and that is causing him to believe that he is in love with you. He isn’t in a healthy place right now, and that means he isn’t in a good place for a relationship.
Notice nether of these options is a good option. You already know what you should do, your instincts have told you, listen to them. It’s when you ignore your instincts because you’re tempted by an offer that sounds to good that you get in trouble. Wish him well and pass on this guy.
Thanks for the replies. I really appreciate it. ♥
@Kaitie – You’re right, he’s exceptionally clingy. Through-out today he kept video calling me and sending WhatsApp messages while I clearly said I am at work and can’t answer my phone. The moment I got home, he expected me to call him right away instead of allowing me to cook first and get situated. I’ve dealt with all kinds of people on SA but this is definitely new.
@DavidSD – Thanks. I don’t think it’s a scam but given what happened today no one can deny he needs counseling. One of the main reasons why I joined SA – beside the financial aspects – is maintaining my freedom. This seems to be moving into the opposite direction quite rapidly.
Will be taking the advice and run. Poor guy, though…
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Sounds like a usual dating site scam, at some point in the near future he’d be asking you to front him money for some reason or other …
@Serena91 – trust your gut. You did not really need to ask these questions, as they set off a BS alert in that first paragraph with not mentioning sugar.
It went downhill from there and just kept going down, which you just wanted validation of rather than not knowing it.
But yes, you cannot fall in love in a day, and anyone who claims it (especially online only!) has issues or is trying to pull something over on you.
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