Okay okay… that probably sounds terrible but hear me out. I really like the guy, we hit it off the first time we ever talked and I love having a conversation with him. We have been talking for almost a month now and have been on one date, he has also bought me things and given me money (which I am so extremely grateful for). We have a trip planned next week for Vegas and I’m super excited! He is so sweet to me and HAS NEVER EVEN MENTIONED ONE THING ABOUT SEX AT ALL!!! But I know it will most likely happen, which is fine but…. I don’t find him very attractive, I just love his personality and his companionship. Am I wrong for that…? Like, I don’t even know what to feel right now, I just know that I don’t really feel alright about it… I think it is because he is so much older than me (27 yrs).
SOMEONE HELP ME!!! ADVICE?!?!
This is a tricky issue.
We SDs know that we are not the ideal form for a SB to be straight attracted to. Part of the Bowl is our suspension of reality. Without the allowance there would not be intimacy with a young woman. That is what the Bowl is built upon.
Now your issue. If you are not comfortable, then end it with him. Once you start doing something you dislike just for $, you moved out of the “relationship” and towards a “pro” mindset. If that is not you, do not do it. But sex, no matter what anyone says, is one of the two pillars of SRs. (The other being the allowance) Without either it falls apart. So you have to decide do I like this guy enough to have sex with him a few times a month? There is no wrong answer to that. As long as you are honest about it with both yourself and him.
So my advice is this. If you are not comfortable with the sex part, move on. And if it is due to the age factor, you might want to reevaluate your desire to be a SB. As the age thing is going to be very common. There is no shame for a SB to leave the Bowl if she is not happy with it. But there is a lot of shame with “just lie back and think of England”.
I don’t see anything cruel or unethical about being in a physical relationship for reasons other than feeling a physical attraction to someone. If you genuinely enjoy his company then chances are he will feel genuinely enjoyed. Just don’t mention it, but also don’t lie to him if he asks directly about it. Remember where you met him. This site isn’t okcupid; he knows he’s a lot older than your usual date and he knows that your selection process isn’t about looks.
In traditional dating I’ve been with lots of people I liked as people and wasn’t initially physically attracted to. A lot of them were GREAT in bed, which made me much more physically attracted to them afterwards.
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