Home Sugar Support™ Forum Money Is SD being flakey or am I overreacting?

This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Boss_Babe_xo 2 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #108090

    Boss_Babe_xo
    Participant

    I thought I finally found the SD of my dreams. We’ve met a few times now and really hit it off. He even brought up the awkward allowance conversation. We clearly discussed our expectations in an arrangement. Our most recent night together we got intimate and he Venmoed me 1/4 of our agreed upon monthly allowance. He did this amount as a “test” to make sure it went through and that I got it, which seems reasonable. After I confirmed receipt of the money, he said he’d Venmo me the rest the next day. It was pretty late at night and he had to be up early for a presentation. This all seemed fine to me. Now, a week later and I still have not received the rest of my allowance. He also wanted to take me to San Diego. I keep asking him for flight information and he claims he’s been busy and will do it the following day. I’ve been asking for this for a week now also and he keeps pushing it off. I understand he’s really busy but I need to make plans for myself. We are supposed to leave tomorrow for San Diego. I have no flight information/confirmation and no allowance. Should I drop this guy or have a little more patience?

    #108094
    N2fungirl
    N2fungirl
    Participant

    Drop. Focus your energy on connecting with a true SD. This guy is an impostor. He groomed you and got what he wanted. Sugaring is exciting and fun, but it comes with a lot of disappointment and frustration dealing with the majority of posers out there. I play it sweet up to a point, then I move on. Just did that this week with one so-called SD who suddenly started having cash flow problems with his business. Know your value and never compromise your own needs. xoxo

    #108100

    Boss_Babe_xo
    Participant

    Thanks so much for the advice! I really appreciate it! Happy sugaring! ❤️

    #108107

    Boss_Babe_xo
    Participant

    Ok, new development:

    SD finally booked my flight. However, it’s not first class and a flight to San Diego from where I’m at is no quick ride. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I am so appreciative, but the way he talks about his success, I was expecting a first class flight. When we discussed our arrangement, I did state I wanted luxury. Am I remiss to assume that when I say I’m looking for luxury that first class flights don’t apply? He also booked me on a red eye return flight. So I’m leaving at 10:40pm and not returning until 10:30am the next day and I have to go to work. I feel like that’s a bit ridiculous. Also, still waiting on the rest of my allowance.

    Am I in the right to have a conversation with him? We were intimate so I feel as though I’m upholding my end of the arrangement and that he is not fulfilling his. Or will I come across as ungrateful?

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Boss_Babe_xo.
    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Boss_Babe_xo.
    #108121
    SouthernSD
    SouthernSD
    Participant

    You have a few issues going on here along with lots vagueness and assumptions.
    First, cash is King in the sugar bowl. He should have gave you half the monthly allowance in cash the day you were intimate.
    I say half because it’s rare for SD to gift a whole monthly allowance in one shot. (Thanks to rinsers) No Venmo or PayPal, cash.
    He obviously started making excuses on the rest of the allowance which were all BS, that was your que to cut your loses and walk away.
    Stating you want “luxury” is vague and subjective, you have to clearly state what you have in mind when making the arrangement.
    Otherwise your leaving it up to the SD.
    (Notwithstanding, I do agree a first classs ticket was in order for the San Diego trip. )

    The fact it took so long to book a flight was another red flag, especially if you have a tight schedule.
    The way he booked it did not take in your consideration, it was all him.

    Your issue is not that your ungrateful but you can’t see the forest for the trees.
    Skip San Diego and move on, this is not a sugar relationship.

    #108125

    Boss_Babe_xo
    Participant

    Glad I’m not being crazy. Thanks so much for your advice!! On to the next!

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