Home Sugar Support™ Forum Relationships Married SD revealed identity before meeting- is this a red flag?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  NewSugarSeekingAdvice 5 months, 1 week ago.

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    Hi! I am brand new to this lifestyle. I really appreciate this forum, haven’t found an answer to this.. We found each other on SA, have been talking for almost 2 weeks, have not met in person yet, but we do videochat often.
    Within that time, he has revealed to me the name of his business, his social media(personal account), his phone #, and details about his life that eliminate any possibility of anonymity. He is married, so discretion is vital. He has not asked me for my information, and only knows my first name.

    *What I dont understand is why he would send/give that info to me?*

    I did not ask, most was incidental within our conversation or screenshots he sent to me. Is revealing his identity, especially a married SD, before meeting, a red flag?

    Also, he insisted we talk on kik instead of SA & encouraged me to delete my SA acct. From another post, I read that talking outside of SA is a red flag for a “salt daddy.”
    Or could it simply be what he said- he wants me all to himself, and we really click.

    I’m asking these questions because he does seem too good to be true, not in the financial sense that most people talk about, but in the genuine spark that we have together.

    We have not discussed an allowance, bc we have not met yet, but we do talk every day & sometimes for hours at a time. We have a great rapport, solid connection & he has offered to send me a *very* generous gift(not to my home). He is my perfect match, in many ways. I dont want to let the excitement of meeting him cloud my judgement.
    Am I just overthinking this or is this a red flag?


    At first I thought he was being generous with info just to put you at ease. But your second part about deleting your SA account and sending you a generous gift before meeting is a Red Flag. A huge one in fact.

    You are being enticed and lulled into a scam.

    Here is how to find out for sure. Tell him thanks for the offer but you would much rather receive your generous gift in person, then give him a date to meet. Sooner then later. Tell him the chats have been nice but it’s time to meet.

    He will probably start making excuses or try to send you the money. Do NOT accept any gifts of money from him unless it’s in person and CASH. All other means of gifting money, check, transfer, email is a SCAM.

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by SouthernSD SouthernSD.


    Why are you wasting so much of your time talking to him online, before you’ve even met?
    Verify his identity by MEETING him.
    It’s also the only way to gauge whether there’s any actual chemistry.
    Then go from there.



    Forgive my mostly age-driven ignorance of the subject, but is “kik” text based, meaning you’ve never seen the face that matches the identify in action? If so, he’s been generous with someone else’s identify and that really should have been obvious as a $5000 firework.


    Thanks for the responses @southernsd It’s possible hes being generous with info to put me at ease bc he knows I’m new to this. I was not aware that was a common thing to do. I assumed it was not. He said he feels comfortable with me, so idk, maybe thats all it is. He has offered a gift that is a material possession, not send $$.
    @josieforyou We have a tentative plan for when we will meet. The delay in meeting was not solely around his schedule, but mine as well. Both very busy. We have great chemistry in videochats. I know thats not the same as real life, but for me, it is enough to tell. We’re not sexting, or gettin’ weird on video. It feels as though we have had several dates already, via video.
    @hoosierdaddy Its a text app, but also has videochat. It’s enough for me to verify his identity, so he’s definitely not impersonating someone.

    I was under the impression that everyone remained anonymous, or first name basis, until at least meeting in person AND deciding on an arrangement- for safety & discretion purposes. Like I said, I am new to this, as in- he is the only potential SD I have talked with, ever. Just heard a lot of horror stories about this lifestyle, and trying not to fall for a scam.

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