Hi SBs! I became an SA member three days ago, and I’m getting POT SD offers. I’ve been reading advice topics and articles. So helpful. I still don’t have a feel for the right “ask” with the arrangement discussion. One POT SD asked me what arrangement I wanted before we’ve even had a M&G. I put him off and said we could discuss that when we meet tomorrow. Still I don’t know what my ask would be. Any advice?
I think it’s quite normal to discuss the type of arrangement you want before meeting. Why? Because for most SD’s their time is limited and they won’t want to waste time meeting you if you’re expectations are not comparable with theirs. Likewise for us SB’s if you have to travel to meet your POT like I do, you will atleast want to know what his expectations are and if he is offering you something you want.
When talking to a POT I always ask what sort of arrangement do you want, long term, short term, how regular do you want to meet, what things would you like to do together. Based on that I have a figure in my mind what I’d like for an allowance.
With a lot of the time wasters on here I now insists when it comes to an allowance they make me an offer they feel is acceptable and respectful.
You cannot go into the Sugar bowl with out knowing what you want, that has to be sorted out before you meet.
It’s ok to get a ball park estimate before meeting but really it’s a moot point to completely work out all the details before meeting.
If you meet and there is no chemistry or they are not who they say they are, then it was a waste of time.