I’ve really learned a lot here in the last day or two, but still have some questions, I’d love some insight from you vets.
I get a lot of favorites and some messages from SBs that are remote. I realize they will have somewhat different goals, but what are some scenarios they might be envisioning? While my profile mentions travel, it is specific to Costa Rica. I get SBs from around the US and the world contacting me though. I did ask one this morning what she was looking for and the chat stopped there (I was as tactful as I could be, even featuring a honest-to-god smiley face!).
Should I mention that I’d prefer locals in my profile? Or are they thinking they’d actually move or something (which I doubt, and wouldn’t want)? I wonder if my net worth is maybe causing some SBs to reach out regardless of distance?
Any insights appreciated!
My guess is that the majority of the long distance ones are looking for the ever illusive and mythical online relationship. The rest may be willing to travel to you if you cover their travel costs and maybe one of them might actually like traveling for travel’s sake and is using the prospect of meeting a SD as an excuse to get on the road. If an SB can’t easily and honestly answer your question as to what she wants, skip over her, she either hasn’t had time to figure out what her goals are or hasn’t figured the whole mutually beneficial relationship thing. Next time try asking what her ideal arrangement looks like, you may get more insightful answers.
You can mention that you’re looking for locals but you’ll need to specify what local is to you. Local to me is within 200 miles, local to someone else may be 50 miles or less.
Lie about your net worth or don’t list it at all. Minimize it. I don’t even look at net worth anymore because I know that some SD’s will overinflate it or underinflate it in the same way some people lie about height and weight.
Take your time, read the profiles, search by your criteria, find the profiles that speak to you and follow up on those.
I think @charmingandwitty is right on the $$ with this one. (no pun intended) And I agree with her. I don’t even regard the income amount on any of the the profiles as most of the real SD will undervalue their income and the fakes will over inflate their’s.
Local to me is 100 miles, the only time I go outside that is if I’m traveling to a large city where I know some of the SD are. I’ll change my information to note that. But otherwise I keep my search within 100 miles.
As for SB looking to travel, seems like maybe they don’t really know what they want yet or understand how the arrangements work. Or maybe they are hoping you’ll pay for them to travel or travel to them.
I’d read through the profiles and find what your looking for before reaching out to your next SB
Definitely specify local in your profile. I personally reach out to anyone I think I’d hit it off with regardless of distance since there are quite a good amount of SDs that are willing to fly SBs out. I briefly had an SD who would regularly fly me out to his city. And yes, I’m sure there are some looking for online only sigh…
@danielle i’m interested to hear more about your travels/arrangement-where they long term arrangements ? how did you go abouts those arrangements?
@latinbeachbabe no it only lasted briefly as the allowance ended up not being worth the amount of time I had to spend traveling (and it wasn’t to a desirable city or anything so it felt so anytime I wasn’t with him I was just bored in the hotel). He flew to my city first for an M&G (at the time I lived in NY, so most businessmen travel there at least sometimes). Then he would fly me out for one or two weekends a month.
Note that while I’ve had a lot of POTs offer this in messages, he was the only one who actually followed through with it. I wouldn’t advise actually seeking this unless you live in an area where there aren’t any SDs.
@danielle thank you for your insight. I’m sorry that the city/arrangement didn’t work out for you. I feel like my town I see the same POT on SA and would be interested in traveling to see an SD , thats why I asked.
@relaxedonabeach, my profile has always stated clearly that I’m looking for someone local, but when I’m visible, that doesn’t stop the favorites and messages from distant locations ( I’m very popular in The Philippines ). I usually ignore these, unless the introduction is interesting. We’ve never really got into a conversation about how an arrangement would work.
I don’t regularly travel to fixed locations, so if we live more than an hour apart, regular meet ups are going to be complicated. And I like my SR’s to be simple. I’d also want to have an in person M&G before coming to any arrangement, and really don’t want to travel an hour each time to multiple M&Gs whilst looking for ‘the one’.
I’ve often played with my reported net worth ( within the range of my actual net worth ), and whilst higher amounts definitely draw more attention, the average ‘quality’ is reduced, e.g. the contacts from distant countries and newly signed up SBs just saying ‘hey!’.
Thanks for the insights. I think it is a few different types that contact me. I did try what @charmingandwitty suggested with one girl (asked what her ideal arrangement looked like) and got a frowny face in reply. Well, it was effective I guess. 🙂
I also get the Philippines girls @inamorato. I think those fall into: 1. looking for a husband; 2. draw into emotional attachment and then bleed for $$ for sick mom, etc. I suspect these apply to various girls from Ukraine, Argentina, etc.
I am waiting on a profile update, but they are being really slow. I did start using the location filter on my search and find that there are many apparently good SB candidates even within the 10 mile range. I would certainly prefer something really easy like that.
My situation is a little unusual in that I’m planning to move to Costa Rica next summer, so I’m slowly looking there too. It makes my profile kind of complex, maybe too long, and in both Spanish and English.
Anyhow, thanks for all the insights! Happy sugaring!
Hi, I’m a SB from Argentina and sometimes I read profiles from another countries and I message them.
What I always say is that if they ever come to my country feel free to contact me for a meeting and for a tourist guide because we all know that a “classic guide” often it isn’t what locals do.
I had my share of thanks but I also had two arrangements from two businessman that came to the country.
One came for a business and another for vacations.
I hope my vision help you to understand my reasons.
Have a nice day,
@relaxedonabeach where are you located? Im really trying to hear from you I am living with the same thing you had mentioned in a reply on someone eles post.
I agree with everyone above but one more thing that I don’t think was brought up- I have searched for non-local men in past as so many SD travel for work or whatever and might want a SB if they frequent my area. If I see a guy that is not local but promising I will contact them and mention if they are in my area that maybe we could have an arrangement when he travels thru, I throw it out there. Its not super common but could be another thing a SB is looking for.
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