Home Sugar Support™ Forum Advice Online only relationships

This topic contains 11 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by SouthernSD SouthernSD 5 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #39290

    Since I have already responded to a couple of posts about these, I will set this as a reminder and stay hopeful that someone looking for an online relationship will read this.

    IT DOES NOT EXIST.

    I don’t care what they promise you. Or how genuine they seem.
    Here are a couple things you need to ask yourself.

    1) Why would someone pay for me to send pictures when there are plenty of free porn sites? What could possibly make YOU so special?

    2) What’s the most reliable way they could even pay you? PayPal? That has plenty of horror stories to go around. I wouldn’t trust anything other than cash, in terms of actual payments.

    3) How safe would it be to have your nudes in the hands of someone you don’t know very well? I don’t trust people I’ve been with for years with them. How could you let someone you’ve talked to for 5 minutes have them?

    4) Are you a sugar baby, or a cam girl? If you have to actually think about this question, then you honestly need to reevaluate what you are doing on SeekingArrangements.

    Being an SB isn’t about getting money for being pretty. If you were so pretty that people would be willing to pay 100s for pictures, you would be a model by now.

    A sugar relationship is similar to a traditional relationship, except because they (sugar daddies/mommies) don’t get to see you often, they compensate you for their time. You have to be willing to put in effort. The whole point of SA is to meet with the person you are talking to. If you aren’t willing to meet someone in person, then you won’t be successful, AND chances are you will get scammed.

    End of rant :)

    #39291
    teamswirl
    teamswirl
    Participant

    Thank you for this!

    #39293
    SouthernSD
    SouthernSD
    Participant

    🙌. Copy and paste this in all future questions about online SD

    #39295
    SFwinefan
    SFwinefan
    Participant

    Hear hear to that! This is a rant I wish I’d written

    #39303
    teamswirl
    teamswirl
    Participant

    @strawberry.breanna.smoothie Make it into a blog post. More people might see it that way.

    #39304

    @TheLovelyMariah Sure thing!

    #39305

    TabbyCat
    Participant

    As a former cam girl, current sugar baby, I would like to chime in here:

    You absolutely can build up something akin to a sugar relationship on a cam site, but you won’t be able to do that here. When I cammed, MOST of where the money came from was a few regulars with whom the vast majority of what I did was TALK one on one in private sessions (as well as sexually explicity stuff, of course. Kind of like how in a relationship sex is usually involved). And yes, some of these men will tip you heavily, or buy you gifts from your wish list. Camming is a perfectly viable way to earn a living and to get gifted with lovely things. However, if the men on this site wanted a cam relationship, they wouldn’t be here. They’d be on chaturbate.

    So make an account with a camming site–by all means! Quite frankly, I find the vehemence with which people try to differentiate between being a sugar baby and sex work says less about a misunderstanding of what being a sugar baby is, and more about a misunderstanding about what sex work is. MOST of what sex work is is emotional and beauty labor, rather than sexual labor (though of course that’s part of it). And if the difference is that you CARE about your SD–well, you should know that plenty of sex workers also care about their clients. And every taboo female industry has their myths and legends about why they are superior to the other taboo female industries–whether you want to call it sex work or not. To me, I don’t care what you call it: I just believe that the arts of beauty and seduction in general are worthy of respect.

    I only say this because some girls really ARE better suited to camming than to being a sugar baby–and I hope that they go do what makes them comfortable, rather than feel like it’s beneath them. For a lot of girls, they prefer the anonymity of camming than knowing people personally–but camming IS more personal than porn, which is what makes cam girls “so special” (but for more than being pretty). Porn won’t say your name or tailor to your needs, and porn doesn’t know or care that your ex-girlfriend was a nightmare or that you like to dress up in your mother’s clothes. Relationships ARE formed in the cam world. So if that’s your bag, have at it! But you’re barking up the wrong tree here.

    #39306

    TabbyCat
    Participant

    A final note: I don’t remember what it’s called, but Chaturbate has a sister site where clothes only come off in private sessions, not in group chat. It’s not nearly as popular as chaturbate, but the competition with other cam girls isn’t as fierce either. So if you want something that is one on one only, that would be the one for you (though, unlike being a sugar baby, nobody is going to wait until a third “date” to see the goods). So be free, people who should be camming instead! Be free!

    #39310

    @TabbyCat Thank you for your input! I hope I didn’t come across as being disrespectful to the work of cam girls. I absolutely agree that they deserve respect. I just wanted to explain why online relationships on SA won’t work. And have people think about whether the bowl is right for them, because there are so many people uncomfortable with meeting in person, which is what SA is for.

    #39316

    TabbyCat
    Participant

    Agreed! And no, you were just fine, I just wanted to elaborate as someone who has done both:)

    #39323

    👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️ I am here for this post, all of it. Thank you.

    #39780
    SouthernSD
    SouthernSD
    Participant

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