Home Sugar Support™ Forum First Meetings POT wants first date to be private

This topic contains 7 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Malagress Malagress 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #104843
    Sibul
    Sibul
    Participant

    Hello! I’m new to this and I was contacted by a SD who occasionally travels to my country for work. He’s said how he wants to be descreet about this and for a first meeting wants me to come to his place where he’s staying at or suggested my place if I lived alone. He also mentioned because of work related meetings he won’t be available to meet before 6pm. He explained that he’d like to meet for a few hours where we’d get comfortable and to know each other, he also expects sex at the end and where I’d be gifted cash. He’s been very polite about all of it and often says what “whatever I’m comfortable with”. I’m obviously not comfortable meeting in private and I’m getting plenty of red flags in general, but the fact that he has explained everything he’d like to get out of the meet up is less off putting. So I’d like some advice on if I should just let this one go. Thank you in advance

    #104849

    josieforyou
    Participant

    I think it’s obvious that this is a guy wanting an escort experience, rather than a traditional sugar arrangement.

    The specifics of the scenerio totally depends on what you’re comfortable with and whether you can “perform” even if there’s no chemistry.
    I’d personally never meet someone in private for the first time, and also wouldn’t commit to the idea of sex with someone I’d never met.

    Only you can decide what you are comfortable with.

    #104873

    hoosierdaddy
    Participant

    Josie was very diplomatic. Let me be less so. NO! Everything about this is wrong. How exactly is it difficult to be discreet publicly in a country you don’t live in? Public first, never a hotel room unless you are a whore.

    #109283
    Malagress
    Malagress
    Participant

    I am in contact with a POT and we have been talking through the site and emails. He, too, wants the first time we meet to be discreet . The thing that Is raising a red flag is that he wants to meet at MY PLACE. He said “I know this is highly unorthodox , but he really wants to keep this private until he can get back to me on thursday.” I understand the discretion, I just feel like I really want to meet in a public place for our first meeting. I dont see how a remote starbucks, oranother non-starbucks coffee shop would be a problem or him being worried about that right now. Any help would be really appreciated.
    Im also a new Sugarbaby. And would love any advice.

    #109292
    SFwinefan
    SFwinefan
    Participant

    It is a complete red flag.

    The only reason that could be necessary I’d if he is somehow a very public figure … but even in that case you place would still be a noon starter.

    As a basic rule, do you feel comfortable with the request? If the answer is no, then don’t do it. This is also unreasonable.

    #109301
    Malagress
    Malagress
    Participant

    I feel a little uncomfortable with that request. I even mentioned a nonchalant meeting at a TARGET where it would seem like we were total strangers (and perhaps meeting in a specific aisle so It would just look like two strangers shopping) – I havent gotten a response back from him yet.
    I thought If he was a public figure, that actually might be a better option. If he doesnt agree to that I think I should just let things go. What do you think?

    Thank you so much for your help!

    #109326
    Inamorato
    Inamorato
    Participant

    If you’re not comfortable meeting in private, and he won’t agree to meet you in a public place, you need to let it go. Asking to meet you for the first time, in private, at your place is just such a big red flag. He’s not looking for a sugar relationship, and it’s going to put you in an uncomfortable, and perhaps dangerous situation.

    Even if he was a very public figure, there are always places to talk in public that would be seen by others as purely platonic. A couple of minutes in a Target shopping aisle would even work. Followup with a longer M&G in a museum, art gallery or busy public park. If fact, public figures often have a better ‘excuse’ for sharing a platonic conversation than your average married guy. It’s understandable that some sugar relationships don’t involve public date nights ( in their own city anyway ), but there really is no excuse for an initial meet up.

    #109330
    Malagress
    Malagress
    Participant

    Thats true. He is currently in California and wont b back until thursday, but he wants to keep communication going with me until then. I did message him about TARGET. Im still waiting his response. Museum sounds wonderful. Ill mention the big (free) museum here.
    Thank you so much for your advice

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