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This topic contains 11 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  westbam 4 months ago.

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    Well I seem to have landed another selfish lover in my newest SD.
    On the 6 intimate dates we’ve been on, he’s climaxed a lotttt and me… nada. Not even close. I’m a hard one to crack (I’ve only ever in 14 years of sexual activity climaxed with one intimate partner during sex and only 2 elsewhere) but this dude is just slack, he’s not even tried… it’s insanely unattractive and it’s about to become a deal breaker.

    Why go to the trouble of bedding young attractive women if you aren’t going to at least try to pleasure them? 🙄🙄 do they not feel the need cause they think “they’re getting paid”?

    Rant over.



    I’ve had a woman tell me she was non-orgasmic before our first intimacy. She said it as assurance, “don’t worry about it” kind of thing. I, of course, took it as a challenge. Yeah, wouldn’t be a story if she didn’t would it? Let’s just say the way she looked at me after she initially recovered told me I was about to have the night of my life, and that was an accurate interpretation. Bottom line, if it’s not too late, trying the “bet you can’t” is worth a shot. From very limited data, sounds like he might just be selfish or thinking of you as an escort though.


    Hi Josie… I had that same problem… when I was married though… LOL… I found that for me it was all about positions… when I am on top I have no problems cumming… try that… now, for the other… any decent man would make sure you cum first… always!! He might be getting lazy because you have let him… so, next time say let him know that you need to be taken care of first… or just direct him in what you want him to do… you can do it very seductively and suggestively… be creative… he’ll be thrilled to know he can do that for you!



    @josieforyou I’m a bit confused. No questioning the selfishness of your SD but why do 6 romps w this guy? He sounds like he’s interested in himself only. You’re letting him mistreat you by continuing to be intimate with him. You deserve better!!

    Are you unable to orgasm through masturbation? If you’re generally not able to “pop” yourself it’s going to be extremely rare for your lover to get you off.

    If I were lucky enough to have you in the sack I would certainly want you to tell me up front about this issue. I would love to try to uncork the genie with you!

    I guess my advice is
    1) drop this loser
    2) learn what type of stimulation can get you to orgasm
    3) discuss with your partner prior to hopping into the sack
    4) call me when you’re in my town lol 😂

    Good luck!



    1) check
    2) I already know
    3) I would with someone who showed interest but this d-bag didn’t so not even worth the effort
    4) 😏😏

    I should clarify not all 6 times were penetrative lol. But he still benefited. And I’m all for spoiling a partner/SD in that regard, it’s when there’s no interest in reciprocation that I stop feeling inclined lol.
    But why I persevered… I really wanted this arrangement to work 😂😂 he was VERY generous financially (maybe to make up for where he isn’t generous ha).

    I can climax very easily through masturbation alone, and through the right kind of foreplay with a partner.. But I find very few men actually care to try…both in SRs and vanilla relationships. Though oddly enough the most considerate partners sexually I’ve been with have been former SDs… just not this latest one evidently.

    Anyway, I’m just having a pity party lol.



    @hoosierdaddy I definitely think the issue is escort thinking which is the laaast thing I want in a SR (I ended it today).
    I’ve previously done the “bet you can’t” approach and it’s just the saddest thing ever when a man tries and fails, so sad that I end up just faking an orgasm (I know, I know, I really shouldn’t).. It’s kinda put me off saying anything at all 😂 with that said if I had a partner that seemed invested in my pleasure I’m sure I’d be more forthcoming, probably in the same way the woman you write about was (more as a warning lol).

    @vanilla topped slice I’ve ceased this particular relationship as I know he would be unreceptive lol. Thanks for the advice though!

    Seattle Slew
    Seattle Slew


    Is this the same guy who was going on and on about an NDA? If so, all that trouble and can’t even please a woman? Ffs…. Good for you to break it off. I’d move on too.. Some men are just selfish lovers unfortunately. Sorry about that ordeal.



    @seattle slew
    Yes it’s him!! Which has made me feel even more annoyed 😂😂 I thought based on the contract that he might lean toward being assertive/dominant.. But nope. So dull 😂

    Seattle Slew
    Seattle Slew


    Ughh, what a nightmare. That really sucks.. I feel these are the kind of men that after sex, you look at them intently and say is that it? And then quickly tell them to get the hell out of here / throw them out. Hopefully, your next SD is a better improvement in bed.



    @joisieforyou that is for sure a disappointment

    but if you want to feel better-i literally met someone on SA this past weekend and wanted a bit of fun plus i mean it was his 50th birthday and well he was having his mid-life crisis plus i was on vacation so i was surrrreeeee *devil horns*

    @seattleslew LADIES google elephantitis (something like that)…..I couldn’t have it so I ask him to leave


    back to the dry spell.




    Oh dear, you ladies are super funny. While I lurking around more and more here everyday than on SA. I find good information here for me , since I am new on SA.



    If I had a dollar!

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