So I have a bit of a mental dilemma. I went on a first with a POT about 2 weeks ago (prior to that we had been messaging regularly) and we hit it off immediately. He’s really sweet and we pretty much text regularly! Because he goes back and forth for business a lot he only spends a couple of days at a time in the US because his home and businesses are in another country. After knowing him for like three weeks he invited me to fly out to see him for about 5 days out of the country and while I really want to go and I know he seems really genuine I’m a little nervous about flying out of the country alone to meet a POT I’ve only know for a little while. I need advice!! Should I go or no??
I’d strongly lean towards not going, but it really depends on the details.
You say you’ve met him once in person? Was this just a M&G, a platonic date, or something more? If you’re making a commitment to spend 5 days with him, he’s most likely expecting more than a platonic date. Are you ready for that? Will you be in a strong enough position to say no if things don’t go well?
Which country is he intending on flying you to? Have you been to that country before? Would you feel safe there on your own? Do you have, or could you find friends to meet up with you there? What will the living situation be? Will you be able to fund your own way home?
Example 1. SD invites you to fly from the US to Vancouver. You have friends in Vancouver. SD advances you the cash to pay for your own flights and your own hotel room. The plan is to go on a few dates, and you’ll also have time to spend on your own. Your friends can meet you at the airport etc.
Example 2. SD invites you to fly to Saudi Arabia. SD books the ticket in your name, and will give you your allowance and return ticket after you arrive. You’ll be staying at the SDs house. In the desert.
There’s a difference.
I want to echo @inamorato here. Unless it is Canada or Western Europe, I would consider it a hard no. Even for those okay countries, you need to be comfortable feeding for yourself and having the resources to get home on your own if things go south.
I too am curious what country he’s asking you to fly to…
I will repeat my advice given many times before:
If you are asking the question, then you know that the answer is no. Instincts exist for a reason; listen to them.
I concur. Also glad to see Ferdinand return to the ring!
Thanks for the feedback you guys! The country was Australia and I didn’t end up going. We talked about it and he said he was completely ok with him flying to my home state for a local date if I was more comfortable with that! So it worked out! 🙂
@JJFN001 – congrats. It’s a reminder that there may in fact be genuine SDs, that will invite ladies whom they haven’t met to travel to them. Which doesn’t mean you should just believe them and jump on a plane. But it could be worth continuing the conversation and searching for a safer solution. Hopefully that vacation to Australia is still on the cards in a few months time…
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