He was new to SA, but was honestly a really nice guy! He had a job downtown close to my place so that wasn’t an issue. He has 4 kids, and I don’t mind that and he loved that I’m a nanny.. because we both had full weeks we schedule our meeting for today (Friday) and all through the week we’re connecting and he’s even calling me at night and telling me about his day and things with his kids. One night was his sons birthday and he sent me pictures of his KIDS.. so I honestly truly believed this man was going to be a really nice guy right? He makes reservations for the restaurant of my choice. We talked last night and everything was fine and he even sent an extra goodnight text with the kiss emoji… so FRIDAY comes along and……dead silence…. nothing all day… I text him and nothing.. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and say to myself that he’s just busy in meetings. So I get ready to leave and the place is a few city blocks from where I live so I walk over… I say the name the table is under.. it was canceled.. I have no idea what to even say. Oh, and when I tried to call it went to voicemail and the text doesn’t say delivered under the text anymore. Yea… I feel kinda hurt because I thought he was letting me in on his life and then he just ghosted me.
I’m starting to think I’m a failure of an SB
No, that sucks but that doesn’t make you a failure. Failure would be giving up. Keep trying. It may hurt, being ghosted always does.
Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. Yea, I feel a bit better now that I’ve slept it off, but still… why waste someones time like that? I guess it’s best to just forget about it now.
That guy was probably some socially awkward guy in his mom’s basement many miles away. Those pics of “his kids”were more than likely some random children from instagram.
I advise you to not devote so much of your time to someone in the beginning like that. He had no business calling and telling you about his day. Keep it short and simple in the beginning. Take everything they (men) say with a grain of salt until their actions line up with their words regardless of how nice they appear. Niceness is oftentimes a facade for many people.
Learn to value your time with everyone (not just SDs). It’s one of the best things you can do for your self care and well being.
@excitedlunarspirit, I am sorry to hear you got ghosted so spectacularly. It sucks.
In the future, make sure the first meeting is the short M&G, something quick to validate chemistry and that the offline person matches what you are seeing online. Second, that M&G should be relatively quick – within a week or two (at the most) of connecting on S. Any POT SD who is lingering for meeting should be at least a yellow flag.
Experiences like yours are all too common. In the short time I’ve been in the sugar bowl, I’ve experienced a lot of different situations. On balance, I’m happy with how things have been going thus far. But, there are a lot of POT SDs on SA who don’t understand the game, or choose to ignore how it’s supposed to be played. Some just want a pay-per-meet hooker. Some want something for nothing. Some confuse this with vanilla dating. Some talk a good game, then get cold feet and disappear. Some are time vampires and ask for photos and just want to sext. Some are out right scammers. A few are genuine, gentlemen, understand the premise and respect the process. The later are in the great minority. I’ve learned to spot impostors early on and avoid the scammers and time wasters. I’ve learned to take emotion out of the equation, be patient, keep it classy and proceed with caution always. By putting ourselves out there as SBs, we’re playing a serious game that requires a serious approach. The fantasy arrangement might happen, but it’s a numbers game and can take a lot of time to find. Hang in there. Don’t get discouraged over one jerk’s behavior.
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