Home Sugar Support™ Forum Relationships Time to cut him lose? How to otherwise manage expectations?

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by Avatar ridethehorse 1 year ago.

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    Hi all,

    Very sorry, I posted this in the advice forum originally but then realized this is probably the more appropriate sub.

    This is my first post. I have been a sugar baby for nearly ten years and have had many sugar daddies, and this is the first time I’ve ever really felt like I might have to end a sugar relationship. Of course I have had other sugar relationships that have naturally fizzled, but I think I may need to actively sit my daddy down and pull the plug, and was hoping I could get some advice on maybe how to manage expectations instead for the next month or so.

    I met my daddy in January and we immediately clicked. He told me he was in a happy relationship with someone he lived with and got the sex and companionship he needed from her, but was looking to explore BDSM and wanted someone who was open to doing that and meeting once or twice a week. It, however, quickly became clear that wasn’t really what this guy wanted. He could hardly get it up, and was far more interested in having a companion, cuddling, going to dinners, and going to bars. Perhaps he thought he wanted a sexual, private relationship at first and he just ended up really liking me and wanting to do more public things, but sex is definitely not the main part of our relationship, and I would say we only have sex every third time we meet, and its usually just oral being performed on me because he is unable to get an erection. So you guys might be asking what’s the problem?

    Well, to be honest I don’t really want this sort of public relationship with this guy. He’s far too old for me to have a real relationship with (he’s in his 50’s and I’m in my 20’s), and I live in a small city where I constantly run into people I know. I don’t really want to go out to see shows and go to bars with him and have him grabbing my ass while I’m looking over my shoulder hoping I don’t run into that guy I went on a real date with the other day, who is age appropriate, and who I want to have a non-sugar relationship with. I do want to go to shows and bars when I can, but I want to do that with guys my own age and my friends. I have always had much more private relationships with my sugar daddies, while also dating boys my own age. I like my SD a lot, but would like to limit the relationship to lunch/dinner in neutral neighborhoods and hanging out behind closed doors. I’ve tried to talk to him about this, but he doesn’t listen, and as the months have gone on he has gotten more and more attached and tried to push my boundaries even more. He talks about leaving his significant other for me (which I am not comfortable discussing with him and do not encourage), is constantly trying to get me to go bar hopping with him at night, texts me constantly (which really gets under my skin), and gets butt hurt if I don’t respond right away. He also gets super jealous of everyone else I spend my time with.

    For example, he asked me if I was free one afternoon. I just graduated law school and am studying for the bar, so I said, “I’m studying today, but I’m game to take a dinner break.” He says, “I won’t be free for dinner, I have to go to this party with the live in girlfriend.” I say, “ok, no problem touch base with you tomorrow,” and I make plans to go grab dinner with a girlfriend. This girlfriend has an androgynous name. Around 8 he calls me to say the party is lame and he wants to bail, let’s get dinner. I say I’m really sorry, but I already made other plans with my friend Alex. He hangs up in a huff, and then sends a nonsensical, drunken text about how he is not the jealous type but he hopes that boy gets down on his hands and knees and kisses my feet or some other weird shit and I’m too good for that stupid young, boy. I’m like Alex is a girl.. but nonetheless, can you not talk shit about the people I choose to spend my time with, guy or girl?. He’s just all around too much and has even started telling me he loves me.

    I’ve never gotten into this territory before with an SD, and I really don’t know what to do. I am studying or the bar right now and really can’t work (if I don’t pass my six figure job offer with be rescinded) as I need to focus exclusively on studying for the bar exam. I am pretty dependent on my allowance, and he is paying for my post bar exam vacation to Europe for a month before I start my lawyer job. I only need to stick this out for one more month before I take the exam and go on my solo trip, but I am losing my mind. The clinginess, jealousy, excessive communication, and just all around immaturity is really getting to me. This guy seems to be out drinking and partying every night and drunk texting me while I’m trying to study/sleep/etc and getting mad I’m not running out to join him or writing him back page long love letters. WHAT DO I DO???


    I would only keep your post in one section. It’s easier to have a conversation with everyone in one place rather than two different ones. i replied on your other post.

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