Home Sugar Support™ Forum Confessions Top 100 – Worst SD profiles

This topic contains 17 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by SimpleSimone SimpleSimone 8 months ago.

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  • #53174
    Avatar
    AFuryforluxury
    Participant

    Ladies, being the hunter is a challenging mission. From time to time, we must take a step back and let it all out !

    The rules : no hints leading to his profile. Try to find a profile that tops the previously mentioned. Can’t wait to see who’ll be Top 1!

    Copy only the part that made you choke on your food while reading his profile!

    My choice # 100

    Mr. Easy target … Not !
    His introduction section
    ” I fall in love easily, so I guess it makes me a good target for sugar babes ”

    His looking for section
    ” Would love to help her go through the end of the month. A struggling student or an escort trying to escape the lifestyle is good for me ”

    My opinion :
    Really ? 😂

    #53381
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    OK Dear Readers, This little gem is from a 19 year old who styles himself “Platonic Daddy” (and clearly needs to use dictionary.com based his moniker, his Platonic tag and on the rest of his profile):

    About Me

    get treated right, experience lavish luxurious things like penthouses, mansions in vacations flying on private jets yachts, going in the world’s richest places, shopping for the best clothes that’s only available in stores rather that means flying to them to another country for the hottest new clothes in European stores, always new stuff (cars, clothes, jewelry etc. ) never worry about the tag again or what you going to eat and if it’s too expensive or not never wear the same clothes twice or panties lol 😊 I’ll make this world yours your college tuition I gotchu

    Looking For:

    Females that know what they want when I take them out to shopping and when I say shopping I am talking about designer not no Ol corny stores I want you in some stuff I pick out for you to wear with me in bed to lol know that shit go make you look smutty dirtyyyyy 😂♥🤣🤣

    #53384
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    On the opposite end of the age spectrum Dear Readers is a 68 year old gentleman who’s profile I find utterly baffling (and I do fancy myself a fairly competent reader). especially the riff about “bleeding madras” – Enjoy this illuminating episode of A Braggarts Stream of Consciousness with Musical Excerpts by Stephen Sondheim…

    About Me

    Sexless marriage. Women’s interest in it wanes w/age??? Me? Inversely proportionate.
    Attends the Academy Awards (and more importantly the before and after parties), Cannes, all the Fashion Weeks, etc.

    Meet/party w/your favorite celebrities.

    Enjoys sunbathing solo on Palm Island’s unspoiled velveteen shores, with a butler on hand to bring me cocktails and refreshments.

    Wait! Solo? Me?

    Yale Law School.

    Film Financier. Financed the top grossing movie of one of the biggest movie franchises of the 2000s + another member of the “”Billion Dollar Club.”​ (One Billion+ in worldwide rentals, video and DVD, worldwide TV revenues. )

    Now: An AI) start-up for the fashion industry. Think Cambridge Analytica. (The 1st trillionaire will be an AI entrepreneur. Paraphrasing Mark Cuban.)

    Launching in 2019 w/ 230 retailers in Japan:

    1. “Bleeding” madras shirts, jackets, pants, and walking shorts. There was a moment in American history when madras cloth was the king of style. You would go to church and twin boys wore matching madras shirts, their father wore a madras sport coat, their mother a madras scarf. High school hallways were a riot of bright plaid with props given to kids with shirts that had faded, with colors that bled so the shirt became more individual, more of a work of art. Hand loomed in India, they were dyed in such a way that the colors blended together and didn’t fade away, creating a unique and beautiful patina, like an old favorite wallet or a brass bell. The demise of bleeding madras occurred only because the dyes were deemed environmentally unsafe. Authentic bleeding madras has not been available for more than forty-five years.

    2. Ready-to-Wear (RTW) Savile Row-quality mens suits made in Trinidad & Tobago by Savile Row-trained cutters and tailors.

    3. RTW and bespoke mens shirts, made in India, surpassing those of Charvet in quality, workmanship, and beauty.

    produced in o/o facilities in each of those countries.

    Crewed in multiple Trans-Pac and Newport (Beach), CA>Ensenada (Mexico) yacht races. (On Roy E. Disney’s Pyewackets). Self-made. Born/raised in a blue-collar NJ suburb. Lived w/an Academy-award winning actress. (Said I was the most human person she knows. Also known for being hyperbolic.Her brother is also an Academy-award winner.) Owned a Greenwich Village restaurant in the 1970s serving Tuscan food, when to most New Yorkers Italian cooking still meant eggplant parmigiana and spaghetti with red clam sauce, our food was considered a revelation.

    Las Vegas several x a month for the food. Guy Savoy and Rubuchon. But also, Bacchanal, Abriya Raku, Lotus of Siam, and Yuri Edomae.

    Was at Bobby Kennedy’s side for 85 days in 1968.

    Dresses: Oxxford,Martin Greenfield, Liverano & Liverano suits. Vintage Tiffany knot cufflinks (gold/platinum). United Arrows, Visvim casually. Collects vintage Persol/Ratti 714 sunglasses. (NOT the current Luxottica ones.) Well groomed. Weekly mani/pedis, haircuts. “Manscaped.”

    First meeting: I’ll send a limo to get you there (And back, course.)Melisse. (If in LA.) Eleven Madison Park. (If in NY.) Or provide 1st class airfare to either of those cities if you live farther distant + hotel accommodations. Hotel Bel Air, if LA. The Surrey/NY.

    Has residences in Venice, CA and Palm Desert, CA, too.

    “Liaisons

    The lack of taste that they display!

    Where is style?

    Where is skill?

    Where is forethought?

    Where’s discretion of the heart?

    Where’s passion in the art?

    Where’s craft?”
    Seeking

    Discretion

    Looking for a FWB (Friend w/Benefits) for a liaison. Anticipate something physical. Fun. Pleasure, i.e what I’m missing in my marriage, which I’m not going to abandon. W/o the other (emotional say) involvements of a relationship.

    As a guide (but not a hard-and-fast rule), prefer a New York Social Diary-type.

    Marriage?

    “Every day a little death

    In the parlor, in the bed

    In the curtains, in the silver

    In the buttons, in the bread

    Every day a little sting

    In the heart and in the head

    Every move and every breath

    And you hardly feel a thing

    Brings a perfect little death.”

    “Marry me a little/Keep a tender distance/So we’ll both be free./That’s the way it ought to be./Marry me a little,/Body, heart and soul./Passionate as hell/But always in control./Oh, how gently we’ll talk,/Oh, how softly we’ll tread./All the stings,/The ugly things/We’ll keep unsaid.”

    I also require your REAL name prior to any meeting, so you can at least be googled. I’m going to reciprocate, of course.

    If not in NY or LA , must be able willing to travel there. I prefer a long term relationship. Therefore, must be willing to relocate to either/both.

    • This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by SimpleSimone SimpleSimone.
    #55152
    Avatar
    AFuryforluxury
    Participant

    Ladies, Gentlemen and Dogs! Here’s for your complete entertainment, the horror of the day. We might just have our number 97 !

    You shall revel in the irony…

    About Me

    I’m good-looking. I’m a blogger, writing extensively about sex, sexuality, and human relationships. I’m fortunate to have had lots of fun, and I continue to do so, and to write about it all. My blog has been named one of the best blogs by several critics for six or seven years running now.

    I’m a good writer. What I write about best, though, isn’t sex, it’s feelings – desire, hunger, need, anticipation, lack, fulfillment.

    I’m dominant. Not sadistic, not rough, not degrading or humiliating. I’m demanding, confident, certain. I know what I want.

    I’m here with my wife’s blessing. We have a great marriage, one that’s fairly open. I know what the site’s about – I get it. BUT….

    Over the years, I’ve made a number of excellent connections on this web site. I’m unusual – what I offer ISN’T an arrangement of the sort that most people offer, or seek, here – and I’ve had no shortage of hostile messages from women asking, essentially, “DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS SITE IS?”

    The answer to that question is, “Yes, I understand what this site is. And, I’ve had some good luck here in spite of that. So if what I offer doesn’t appeal, please know that I wish you no ill will, and in fact, I wish you good luck.”

    Looking For

    I want you to be my muse. To inspire me to write. To make me need to write about you, about what you do to me, about how you affect me. About the hunger you produce in me, about the ways you feed that hunger.

    Or – be my Pilates trainer. That would be great, too! (I’d be very happy to have a conventional Pilates trainer arrangement with you, notwithstanding the other things I say here.)

    I’m NOT looking for a traditional SD/SB arrangement. I want a muse. I want inspiration. And what I offer in return is words. Words are my currency. I want to share with the world the ardor you inspire in me. I want you to make me ache, to make me need. And I want to show others how you do it, how you feed my dominance with your submission in ways that leave us both hungry. If all goes well, my words will feed something deep in you, something that, perhaps, you didn’t even know could be fed. I will show you parts of yourself you didn’t know existed, both in our time together, and in the words I write.

    I know this is an unusual proposition on this site – and maybe I’m not what you’re looking for – but I assure you, while I may not be what you’re looking for, I’m great to find. If money is all that’s motivating you, then I’m not your guy. Unless you want to be my Pilates trainer. P.S. If your message to me doesn’t indicate that you’ve read this entire profile, that you actually understand what I’m saying, then I’m unlikely to respond. You can indicate you understand what I’m saying by leading off your message to me with “I get it.” Thanks!

    I look forward to meeting you.

    And finally, just a note about you, about how you might respond to me, about what YOU might be looking for: Maybe you like the idea of being objectified. Respectfully. By someone who appreciates you, and who wants to take the burden of decision-making off your shoulders, who wants to deliver to you – and take from you – without your having even to think. Perhaps you like the idea of turning your brain off for a few hours. If thinking about this – about someone choosing what you wear, where you go, what you drink, what you eat, what you do – appeals, well, then, we have a lot to talk about.

    ——
    My thoughts

    An ovation is in order my dearest readers as we have our first transparent narcissistic SD, generous enough to warn the ladies by giving us plenty of red flags. Thank you Sir !

    #55161
    Avatar
    hoosierdaddy
    Participant

    Soooo what’s the problem? He has a blog you know!

    NB: For the non-regulars, I’m joking.

    #55163
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    Wow…just wow. So let me make sure I understand this…if I subjugate myself to him entirely, “inspire” him (I assume physically) make him “hungry” and possibly teach him pilates, he will….wait for it…WRITE ABOUT IT!!!

    Well, I’m sold! Where do I sign up?

    Yikes, and I thought the guy who bragged about his viagra stash and smoothly manicured toenails (don’t ask – super duper ick) was the bottom of the barrel…apparently I underestimated the depth of said barrel…

    #55169
    SFwinefan
    SFwinefan
    Participant

    Oh bugger! 😠 @afuryforluxury now I’m going to have to rewrite my blasted profile and promise not only words but wine! 🍷

    NB: what @hoosierdaddy said

    #55170
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    @sfwinefan

    How did you know what the viagra man wanted to do with his feet? Was that you as well? 😉

    Sorry buddy, there is no wine in the world good enough to make that a good idea…

    NB: Not kidding!!!!!

    • This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by SimpleSimone SimpleSimone.
    • This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by SimpleSimone SimpleSimone.
    #55252
    Avatar
    AFuryforluxury
    Participant

    Now that my vacations are over, I have time to browse through what remains of the SDs that I haven’t blocked yet. I’m up to 236 creeps, Johns or plain idiots blocked members. At this rate, there’s chance that I’ll find a partner that lives in my city or Province !

    Now, for the entertainment of LTS members:

    The following profile is originally in French (barely I must add), but I decided to leave our great translate tool do the work. Hum !

    Yes, the word “guirly” was used in the French version as well… and yes, he repeats himself in both sections. 😑

    About Me :

    (Speak English too)

    Man early fifties, looking for a woman who has the taste of a life of luxury, unlimited budget guirly trick (hair, nails, lips, sephora, spa, tanning, etc., credit card as soon as we stay together for the expenses agreed monthly , who has the taste to travel 18 weeks a year and especially to live under the same roof, new luxury home, …

    Cruise in Greece in October (Departure from Venice);

    5-day Florida Getaway 5 to 6 times a year;

    Shopping and Broadway getaway around December 20th in New York City;

    Cruise in the Caribbean in April;

    Full Moon Party 2 weeks in Thailand so December 31st in Koh Phangan

    Refrain if you do not eat everything if you have animals, if you take drugs

    If your expectations are to have $ 1000 a month to buy you clothes monthly, I’m not the good guy, I offer a life where you could not work, traveling 18 weeks a year, budget guirly unlimited, you will have a car and I pay for any trip, restaurant, getaway, travel, your cell, empty your credit card, car expenses and a reasonable monthly budget for your clothes and school fees, ….

    In short looking for a single woman and we found we close this site ….

    I am faithful, …. in love, 22 years of schooling, sold my engineering firm several million of $$

    Looking forward to talking to you ….

    Looking For :

    I am looking for a woman who will come live in a beautiful new house (Cinema Room, Jacuzzi and Inground Pools), share 200 champagne rosé bottles, enjoy life, unlimited Guirly budget (Hair, nails, Lips, Eyelashes, Sephora, Tanning , SPA, …), a car, credit card for agreed expenses and especially 18 weeks of travel a year around the world, no cat and dog that eats everything, no drugs and has a good libido .. .

    I am ready to get married to financially secure you the rest of your days, …

    Alpine Skiing, Roller Blade, Ice Skating, Alpine Skiing, Hicking, Outdoor Escape, … cinema, 200 bottles de champagne de rosée

    Looking for a woman who has a great face and wants to change her life with a guy who has sold his business several million $$

    XX
    ——-
    My thoughts:

    … wake me up when the psychiatric ward finishes regrouping their escapees …

    #55265
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    It might be a long wait…I fear they are breeding… No infancy or emotional growth, just popping full grown from foreheads a’la Athena from Zeus but nominally male and in plaid pants with bad toupees, unrealistic expectations and SA (S?) accounts waiting for them…

    #55380
    N_kari
    N_kari
    Participant

    This little gem messaged me asking to see my private pictures. I took them down after this. Not the worst by far but the “About Me” section really shines.

    About Me

    Experienced SD – Charming, Bon Viveur seeks NSA regular fun whilst away on business trips

    Been on her a while and will not entertain Gold diggers, content sellers or anyone begging for train fares, transport costs upfront as it just won’t happen

    No time wasters – you should know exactly what you want out of this and what you can offer

    Meals, cocktails, travel expenses and hotels will be covered in exchange of pleasent company

    Seeking

    I don’t have a speciffc type (personality is important as looks)
    I travel alot with work and looking for interesting female to spend quality time with.
    I visit most of the larger cities in a regular basis and would like to find someone I can meet in a regular basis

    Don’t want message tennis or 1 word replies – in exchange you can look forward to be spoiled on a regular basis as want to find something long term without the drama of a full relationship

    Don’t have a set type but love blonde/red heads, curvy girls preferred (more sub than Dom)

    ___
    My Thoughts: I read a lot on here bout not being negative and saying things like “not an escort” “prostitute” ect as a SB. Well I think his profile covers most of the negative things that a SD can say that’s negative… On a personal level his pictures annoyed me also.

    • This reply was modified 9 months ago by N_kari N_kari.
    #55388
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    @N-kari

    That’s pretty special!

    I actually saw one gent’s profile who advised, among other gems, that “Bunny Boilers” need not apply. Interestingly he was looking for an 18-22 year old…

    So:
    -His target audience would likely not have any idea what a “Bunny Boiler” is (See Glen Close in the old movie Fatal Attraction for you youngsters out there).
    -No self respecting “Bunny Boiler” is likely to be put off by the warning as self awareness and predictable behavior are not high on their list of attributes.
    -He is a flowering turd blossom.

    Fini!

    #57446
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    OK gentle readers (and especially you @hoosierdaddy – this is a LV special!)

    Tag line: I got the money honey if you got the time.

    About Me

    Well to start with i didnt get my money from being a good business man. So i am probably not the one to be mentoring. I got it by winning the lottery. Now I am retired and want to enjoy the finer things in life. Party some. I am a sweet respectful guy but also a little wild and kinky. I am not really into tattoos. I think they are disgusting inless you have dark skin. I would never marry again without a pree signed,agreement that you have my children. So update. I am looking for something long term and maybe extreme. Local is better but if your willing to travel then no problem. I would not ask you to travel to me until i traveled to you and trust has been established. No i do not expect you to travel first class. I expect you to travel on a charter. I expext for you to be picked up by a limo . So to be clear. There is nothing vanilla about me. I raced cars for a living before i won the lottery. So I like to push the limits. No I was not the best. But I tried hard to be.
    Seeking

    Friends with benefits

    Well I like young petite women. Maybe not a necessity though. Someone open minded and can get a little wild and kinky but still sweet and can show affection. I can be very generous and dont mind taking wery good care of someone if they take care of me. If I get what I want you will get more than what you ask.

    Someone subvisive that is into bdsm would be awesome. Someone that wants a master. Into roll playing or a ddlg. Or maybe your bisexual. Mmmm. That would be awesome. Maybe we can find a sugar baby for you to play with. I want someone with few to no limits. The fewer your limits the higher my limit. I am only interested in someone that is available and willling for at least 3 days and and nights at least 3 times per month with overnight stays. If your willing to have my children than, i am willing for almost any arrangement. I do not seek ordinary. I seek BDSM, DDLG, or children. I do not care about race, and although i might prefer a petite woman, these 3 things are the most important

    Verdict: I know there are worse ones out there, but this did make my skin crawl so I thought it was worth including in the countdown…brings a disturbing twist to the whole “daddy” title…

    #57447
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    OK, I hate to subject you to a 2-for, but this has to be included…

    This guy’s picture is actually a blurry shot if him sitting at a table with piles of money in front of him (also he is short and pudgy and looks a bit sweaty…).
    Profile name: Plenty Of Cash 4U
    Tag line: Barely legal welcome 🙂

    About Me

    Hello Sexy Ladies,

    I’m a good looking, successful, charming man. I have plenty of money for fun and spoiling and good times. I’m always the star of the party with my witty sense of humor and insightful stories about current events and social circle news. Ladies always want to ride in my car because everyone stops and stares and asks, “who is she and how can she be in with that guy…”
    Seeking

    Romance

    I have needs ladies. I need “companionship” . I need it 5-6 times a day. I need it hot and I need it bad. If you know how to give a man top notch “companionship” then drop me a line. I’m always very very grateful for … “companionship”. Mmmmmmmmmmm good.

    Verdict: Wow…love the Romance tag, I’m really feeling it, aren’t you? 😉

    #61764
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    Had to bring something real (or at least amusing) to the top of this ridiculous list of spam!!!

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