Home Sugar Support™ Forum Advice What am I doing wrong?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by KawaiiDollLittle KawaiiDollLittle 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #109235

    Leahb1324
    Participant

    I’m very new to this but I can’t seem to find any luck…I have chatted with several people through SA, but for one reason or another nothing works out. Do I need to post better pictures? More conversation/get to know them better? Or skip right to details of arrangement and wait for them to ask to meet up? Any help is appreciated!

    #109237
    DogDaddy
    DogDaddy
    Participant

    Hard to answer this generically. The most common reasons I end up declining sugar babies is that their expectations are unrealistic or because there’s someone else I’d rather see.

    #109243
    Inamorato
    Inamorato
    Participant

    @leahb1324, it’s hard to answer because you don’t give any details.

    How new is ‘new’? Some ladies get lucky, but most will search for months before they find an arrangement with a genuine SD. Many will never find it. Partly, this comes down to numbers – there are 10 times more POT SBs than SDs that can genuinely maintain an ongoing mutually beneficial arrangement. And it gets worse because, for example, in a city with 5000 POT SBs, you need to be ‘better’ than 4500 of them to stand a chance. Your profile needs to be among the best to even get noticed. You probably need to have better photos. You probably have to have better profile text.

    I’d suggest reading this forum for the reviews of other SBs profiles by @ambrose, @southernsd, @sfwinefan. See what applies to your own profile. Once you’ve made improvements, you can post your own review request here.

    You can create your own fake SD profile and use that to browse other SBs in your area. Check out the competition, but don’t make the mistake of just copying everyone else – the majority of SB profiles are bad. Really bad.

    My advice would be to not waste too much time on online conversation – he’s talking to 10 other SBs in parallel to you. If he comes across as genuine, and you see potential for something more, move to a M&G as soon as possible. Short, platonic, 30 mins, over coffee or walking round a local museum. Somewhere public where both of you can make a quick exit if needs be. If he doesn’t suggest a meet, you need to do it within a few days of first talking to him. You’re the hunter – don’t wait for him to come to you.

    Be careful about discussing the details of an arrangement through Seeking’s messaging system. You’re looking for someone who can help you with your student loans. He’d like to help you with that, knows some great restaurants that he’d like to go to a few times a month. Also likes chilling with Netflix. All cool. But don’t start discussing details of exactly how generous he’s going to be ($s) and what he expects in return. Save those discussions after you’ve moved to WhatsApp, text, kik etc. IMO, after you’ve had your M&G.

    #109246
    SFwinefan
    SFwinefan
    Participant

    @leahb1324, you’ve gotten great advice on profiles and initial conversations. I also did a post under first meetings that gives reasons I did not move forward with things

    http://www.letstalksugar.com/forums/topic/first-meeting-experiences/

    #109324
    KawaiiDollLittle
    KawaiiDollLittle
    Participant

    talking about the arrangement is going to come up. if he never speaks on it or totally avoids it. let him go.

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