Home Sugar Support™ Forum LGBT When to disclose being trans

This topic contains 27 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by N2fungirl N2fungirl 1 month ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)
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  • #55073
    N_kari
    N_kari
    Participant

    Im going to keep this short.
    Should I declare on my profile I am trans or should I wait till my first M&G to tell the other party that this is the case? To clarify before I get the obvious question I still have all the anatomy I was born with. I am MtF (male to female) transgender.

    I say other party as I would be very open to meeting a Sugar Momma (SM) as much as a Sugar Daddy (SD) if the opportunity arose. I do say that I am looking for open minded people in my profile but I know this insist exactly a clear declaration.

    This is open to anyone who would like to leave an opinion.

    #55076
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    @n_kari
    I am not part of the LBGT community and perhaps not qualified to answer but…for your safety it might be wise to make that clear prior to f2f meetings. While in this day and age I would hope that no one would respond badly, I would think that your target SD is a very special niche and it would be quite rare for a man who is not a part of that niche to respond really well.

    Please, please do not take that as any kind of slight. I wish you well and want you to succeed and find what you are looking for. I also want you to be smart and safe and happy.

    #55077
    N_kari
    N_kari
    Participant

    @simplesimone Your fast becoming the voice of reason for me =) Of course what you say is smart and is something I have considered. All my meets I have arranged are in public places so safety should be ok. Also you dont need to be part of the “LGBT” community to have an opinion or when trying to look out for someone else’s safety. You comment is very much appreciated. <3

    #55079
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    #55080
    SouthernSD
    SouthernSD
    Participant

    @N-Kari The MtF question has come up here a few times but I’m going to piggy back off @simplesimone and be more blunt.
    You have to have that fact in the first line of your profile. If you wait until a M&G to tell them, you will be putting your safety in jeopardy. The chances of a POT SD losing it and physically harming you goes up quite a bit. Most will just get up and leave but do not put yourself in that position.

    There is apparantely a niche market for trans girls so you want to concentrate on finding those people.

    There are blogs written by Tall-Blonde-Tanya here. Search the blogs for her posts.

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by SouthernSD SouthernSD.
    #55082
    N_kari
    N_kari
    Participant

    Hello @southernsd. Firstly you concern for safety is appreciated (im not saying that in a patronizing way) and your right that it could lead to outburst. It is a difficult line to bring up and in all honesty I almost forget the fact I am trans these days. but I needs to be addressed as at the moment their are things i cant hide.

    If I may be so bold as to ask a direct question then. If I was post op would this still l be the case in your opinion? After doing much reading on here and seen that most men (SD) dont want long term full on relationship status and in almost all cases no kids to come from the agreement. would it be something that should still be disclosed? … I am going to preempt your response and guess yes. But would still like to hear your thoughts.

    @simplesimone we are all on a voyage of self discovery in this life and not all paths follow the same road. Your words are lovely and fill me with strength. If I may offer some advice to a mother. Support them and acknowledged them as who they are. If you ever need any advice or just want to vent or discuss things here is my email I made for this site. You can message me here [email protected]. x

    #55083
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    .

    #55084

    hoosierdaddy
    Participant

    This should not even be a question. Of course you state it early in your profile. Besides the concern for your own safety, it is a basic moral obligation to the other party. In another post you expressed concern about investing money to get to a M&G. Well, how about the SD’s investment of time, effort and funds just to find someone who he could never have any interest in? I would be livid.

    One of the things that seeking did recently that aggravates me no end is taking away the trans related tags. Those need to come back.

    #55086
    N_kari
    N_kari
    Participant

    @hoosierdaddy What you say is absolutely correct and think that if this is to be successful and fruitful for both parties (me and and y SD) then trust and investment of time are essential. Which is why I bring up the subject. If I could have chosen a Trans gender or “tag” I would have but I was only given two choices. Despite the stigma that that brigs and the chasers.

    Ive had the account for less than a week and I am trying to make relate to who I am and what I seek and so this discussion is important and feedback appreciated.

    #55094
    SimpleSimone
    SimpleSimone
    Participant

    @n_kari

    You will hopefully forgive the protective Momma Bear vibe in my posts to you. The regular posters are likely used to my predilections but I know it can be a bit jarring for the uninitiated…

    I assure you all is meant is a sincere spirit of support and caring ( I just have a tendency towards overbearing parent like lecturing).

    No go clean your room and don’t forget to floss! And shoving laundry under your bed does not count as cleaning!😜😜😜

    #55095
    SouthernSD
    SouthernSD
    Participant

    @N-Kari. Yes I would want to know if a person is post op also.

    And your right most Sugar relationships are short term.

    #55108
    N_kari
    N_kari
    Participant

    Just an update… I have informed the POT (the ones I have arranged M&G with) that I am trans. I feel terrible and have left the ball in their court as to weather or not they would like to continue. I haven’t changed my profile yet as I hate writing it (and the type of people it attracts) but I will at some point soon and just make do.

    I do appreciate the comments on here and know that s its the right thing to do (I would have said during M&G or before any agreements and subsequent meet ups) but its never easy to bring up.

    The email I gave earlier can be used by any who wish to contact me for advice or would like to ask more personal questions since this forum does not have a direct messaging (DM) or personal messaging PM) outside the Seeking website.

    Im now off to clean my room and not put my laundry under my bed… Maybe @simplesimone AKA Mommy bear (MB) 😉

    #55113

    hoosierdaddy
    Participant

    I’d be very interested in hearing how that turns out. I knew from your first post in Advice that you were trans from the photo; would love to know if it surprised either POT.

    #55114
    N_kari
    N_kari
    Participant

    @hoosierdaddy If you remember our previous conversations I said their were two I was in contact with (One young and not very talkative and one older who seems very interested). The younger on had not messaged me for some time do so I opened the conversation by inquiring as to how he was and expressed excitement in meeting before delicately telling him about me being transgender. He has now deleted his SA account.

    The second older man I followed the same line of conversation. He replied shortly after and thanked me for being honest and has said that he has dated trans in the past but would still very much like to meet up as we had arranged.

    With both I expressed a understanding that if they no longer wished to meet then I would understand and unless they contacted me I would not longer message them.

    I am rather upset that it was so obvious to you @hoosierdaddy But then some people can “just tell”. This is something I have found as I have been around a number of trans men and women and know the smell tells that are present.

    #55115

    hoosierdaddy
    Participant

    To clarify, context tells me you meant “hasn’t dated” not “has dated”, correct? Also, likely the younger one didn’t delete his account, he blocked you. You can’t tell the difference on your end.

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